Tears stream down your face
You loved someone
But it went to waste
Then you realize...
It can't be replaced
That empty feeling inside
The worst pain...
So you cried
Then you realize...
The feeling won't subside
You get angry and upset
You begin to tense up
...The love you can't get
Then you realize...
You two never properly met
Tears stream down your face
You loved someone
But it went to waste
Author notes
Written July 24th, 2006
A contest entry
- Give me emotion by LaLaLie.
360 points, ended April 14, 2007, 116 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
Oih my this is so sad.! dont worry keep your head up....
-
for my purpose: 5
-
Wow, i can really relate. Thanks for entering and good luck.
-
Wow. This was really good. Good emotion in this. I liked the lines:
"You loved someone
But it went to waste
Then you realize...
It can't be replaced"
I think that rings very true to life. Some people can never be replaced. Even when people find a new love, if deep down they still love someone else, that loss can always haunt them for the rest of their life. This was a good write. Keep up the good work.
-
this is wonderful, i could relate to this feeling--you did a really great job....:]
-
This is such a sad poem!
You expressed this so well it made me feel as though I was the narrator and I was the one in so much pain! Well done!
-
this is awesome. really like amazing. you got your feelings out so well and the message is clear and strong throughout the whole thing. the emotion like builds and builds throughout the poem then the end is a repeat of the beginning which is awesome. well anyway, great job. i luv it. ~kelsey
-
GREAT
Dont I know how that is! Anytime i meet a guy that is what i want, it never works out. He either is a jerk or i have to change in order to be with him, or in the latest case, too old for me. Last week I met the perfect man, one I barely know but I truly care about, but its never goin to happen. It sucks. -
Lots of emotions poured out in this. That's never a good feeling,
Simpatia
-
alot of feeling in this poem, i know what you mean. great work keep writing
-
great
wow this was very interesting and eye opening. i really enjoyed this poem. it kept me interested. i also like the way it flowed. nice job! keep up the good work. -
I think that removing the rhyme would improve this. I may be prejudiced because I'm a freeverse girl, but... I don't know. I think you've got a load of emotion here that's being held back by forced words.
I do like the repetition. It works well in here.
Elizabeth
-
great
truely wonderful. It has lots of emotion and a great sense of rhyming. Great peice
[[InnocentXTrigger]]
p.s Comment my poetry? -
A lot of longing and heart wrenching pain. Your write feels incomplete to me. There could be a lot more added to this it's a telling piece not showing. Your words are nicely choosen, but could have more imaginary to put the reader more in your shoes and relate on a different level. (just an idea)
I do like the rhyming here and there, but it could have more flow to it.
A great start of a piece for something so much more!!!!!!!!!!
Keep on writing for you have lots to say, share, teach, learn, and expree
Take care
~NIGHT -
Aww, this is sad , it gives you a powerful sense of longing and pain from a one-sided love. I hope you find the strength to move on from this. But this was an awesome write, keep 'em coming!
~Lia -
Wow, Im sorry that you feel that way.....I think that if you put a lil more rhyme in it, it would knock people off their feet!!! But its great the way it is, and again, I am sorry that you feel that way about loving someone. I mean sure it seems like a waste at first, but as cliche as this sounds, time does heal all things....Love is never a waste. You can always learn from it and make it acceptable into your life and the way you live it. Great write, keep on keepin on!!!
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
