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Cultivated

 

Cultivated

 

Fear watered by guilt
grows strong
in the mind of a child.

 

Nights are long
with covers pulled over your head,
incanting the name Jehovah
to save you from demons
lurking in dark corners

 

(of your heart)
of your room,

 

ever afraid to sleep.

 

Days are terrifying
when every sign points to
        The End.

 

Earthquakes, wars, famine;
big red checkmarks on Gospel pages.

 

 

Spread the Good News
(the sky is falling)
door to door
so stones won’t have to cry out.

 

Safeguarded at every turn
just let The Society think for you- 
never, ever ask a question.


Swallow your guilt quickly
you barely taste it going down.

Free thinking will get you
labeled apostate, shunned, 
killed at Armageddon. 

 

The World is black.
The Truth is white.
If you have any doubts
you will not survive.

 

Pray for His Kingdom
(hope the clock gets stuck.)

 

They see everything
(but people’s hearts)
from their Watchtowers.  

 

God isn’t fooled
by a show of faith.

The Fear

grows like a bean stalk, 
but you can't climb out of it.

The Guilt,

the guilt eats you from the inside out.
It brings nightmares
of Four Horsemen
riding out of the clouds;

Death wields his sickle
ready to cut you down;
Unworthy seed
that grew too close to the fence.

Author notes

Option 4
Written July 24th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 66 of 66

  • MustangTommy
    February 26, 2008

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    Wonderful write. Very insightful and truthful. I like how you incorporate personal modern society downfalls with the topic of Armagaeon. Thanks for sharing. and Good luck with the contest.


  • CountryCousin
    February 26, 2008

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    Wow.

    You are correct God will not be fooled and this description of the Four Horsemen is incredible. Thank you very much for entering this fine piece.


  • Laken
    February 9, 2007
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    Love this. Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!


  • Tatianna Valcor
    August 7, 2006
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    Wow, very dark and well done! Thanks for entering my contest, you are a wonderful poet.


  • Glenda L Hand
    August 1, 2006
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    Hmmmmmmmmmm Words for thought. Glenda


  • cover fire hero
    July 29, 2006
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    Great poem, bout as dark as it gets. I hope you find the light.


  • Samii Tiger
    July 26, 2006
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    *grins*

    I've been away far too long.

    But anyways, as with all of the pieces I've read of yours, I am continually amazed at the thought put into the piece, not only at the tone, but also at how each word falls into place smoothly, like a cold milkshake that hits just the right spot.

    On a more philosophical note, it's sad to say that many of the young of today are being sheparded by those who have no goal other than to fill their pocketbooks. They have no purpose or direction, yet we are supposed to entrust our world to them? Hah! I balk and scoff at this, hoping that I may seek an office when I come of age to undo the corruption now formed and pray that my knightly ideals shine through then.

    Be well!
    Samii

  • Rhygirl60 silver member
    July 25, 2006
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    an excellent tale of fear and guilt

    Your first line pulled me in and then it was impossible to escape.My religion also features guilt in a big way I used to think when either of my sons were ill it was punishment for what I had done.I like your style ,it told your story frighteningly well.The last lines took me totally off guard.You would be welcome to visit my poetry if you so wished,in friendship Rhygirl60,Liverpool England


  • Cannonsfire
    July 25, 2006
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    Constant shadows well done

    This almost sounds to me like it is written from personal experiences, just the nuances in the verses and it appealed to me. Good write and look forward to reading more.


  • Danna Hobart
    July 25, 2006
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    LOL, good question. It was written for Faithful Dreamer's contest. She was looking for poems about conspiracies. It is a personal experience though, having been raised this way. Even after leaving, I still felt a prisoner to the fear they ingrained in me. I expected Armageddon to come at any time, and I knew that I would be slaughtered. It does not make for a happy life, living in that constant fear, but I was finally freed from it. All it took was a little study of history and philosophy. That is why they discourage their followers from going to college. If they started thinking for themselves, they would leave.


  • Kari gold member
    July 25, 2006
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    Great Job!

    Wow that was deep and awesome...I loved it!!!


  • zola
    July 25, 2006
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    Danna,

    As always, your poetry is a pleasure to read and your themes have a unique way of striking such a chord within me. The images you birth in your poetry are powerful and fantastic!

    It is interesting how those who are suppossed to be the most devout are told never to question their faith! Blinde faith has never been wise and always is a form of mind control.

    What interests me is what exactly provoked you to write this poem? Was there a paticular event which sparked you to write "Cultivated"?

    Great job,
    ~Zola~

  • avendesora
    July 25, 2006
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    wow. this is a very powerful piece. it really makes me take a step back and evaluate myself. am i the seed that is growing too near the fence? and the picture is perfect. thank you for sharing this with all of us. it is really inspiring.


  • wings of an angel
    July 25, 2006
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    very nice write that you had penned here


  • Danna Hobart
    July 25, 2006
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    I just posted it yesterday.


  • hks
    July 25, 2006
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    for the last 3 days this has been in featured box.. u have alot of points...
    hello friend..


  • sock monkey
    July 25, 2006
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    Very good, and gives the chills. Somehow it sounds like hell. The fear of death. Gives me the chills, I tell you! This succeeds on that level of fear.

  • dragonfly-love
    July 25, 2006
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    a superb poem....great job


  • deercatcher
    July 25, 2006
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    See please, my new poem "For the love of the sheep." In the comments I describe the parable applications. I think the control aspect described speak to Jehovah's Witnesses? I think the end time warnings are exactly that. warnings. They should be taught with David's assertions, "I have never seen the righteous forsaken, or God's seed, begging for bread" When Jesus was prophesying the end, he said, "When you see these things, look up, rejoice, your redemption draws nigh." It is easy to see the origins of fear; but I don't think that is the message intended. Great write.


  • AgeofAquarius
    July 25, 2006
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    A weSUM

    WriTE ONN gurly gurl...
    Being an ex armeageddon addict I cant help but wondering whats being abdicated from the stage at the local KH with Lebanon and Global warming ...great fodder for fear..

    Will Iam... Ex JW too...

    Have never read anything like this Danna ...YOU GO GURL!!!!

  • windy tan
    July 25, 2006
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    Gorrrsh this is literally spoooooky!
    Creates vivid images and essentially particular. Great job!

  • Danna Hobart
    July 25, 2006
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    Thank you for pointing that out to me. I changed it.

    I agree you completely, but for years I lived in constant fear of an immmanent Armageddon, and constant reminders that I was not good enough to make it through into the "New System."


  • masterblaster gold member
    July 25, 2006
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    Hi, second line 1st verse should it be grows and not grow? a little depressing, God knows our weaknesses and is forgiving,we must just keep trying to be better people, perfection in the human race would be nigh on impossible I'm afraid, good write, all the best, Di

  • Libra Moon
    July 25, 2006
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    Reading through some of these comments, I can see that most people don't fully understand the poem. Being an ex-jw, I not only understand it, I lived it.

    Fear and guilt are the tools used by the Society to control people, and you never feel safe. The elders are always asking "Are you sure you are doing EVERYTHING that you can in service to Jehovah?" making you feel like you have to do more to make it through Armageddon.

    My mom used to actually get excited when there was an earthquake. She would point out how close it was to "the time of the end."

    I love how you used the line from Chicken Little. The Society has predicted the end so many times, they have become like Chicken Little yelling that the sky is falling

    I know the line about the stones crying out is an reference to a scripture, but I can't remember which one (it has been a few years since I did any heavy Bible study)

    I remember one Halloween, an elder's daughter let her friends paint her face, and I was so disappointed in her. I was taught to tattle on her, but I didn't. I could never do anything though, without being counseled. I went to see Barry Manilow in concert and several members of the congregation stopped talking to me because I was being "worldly." A couple of years later though, I ran into those same people at a Micheal Martin Murphy concert. I wonder why it was okay for them, but not for me?

    I am still bitter about the ban on higher education. If that had been an option for me, I think my life would have turned out much differently.

    One of the biggest things that led to my leaving the congregation was the fact that I saw non-witnesses who seemed to have God's spirit in their lives, whereas my congregation had discentegrated to a bunch of backstabbing.

    And how I remember all those talks about how you can't sit on the fence. You did a great job of pulling all the catch phrases and manipulative devices into a poem.


  • glispa
    July 25, 2006
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    o0o0o very nicely done


  • sarajaneUK
    July 25, 2006
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    This is excellent. Very well written, though I would hate to have been brought up surrounded by thoughts as these. Jan

  • MinaMunoko
    July 25, 2006
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    I don't really know. lol It just kinda jumped out at me. Does that make sence?


  • Danna Hobart
    July 25, 2006
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    Why is that your favorite part?

  • MinaMunoko
    July 25, 2006
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    The World is black.
    The Truth is white.
    If you have any doubts
    you will not survive.

    This is my favorite part. You did so well. Thanks for showing this wonderful piece.

    mina


  • Silence of Finality gold member
    July 25, 2006
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    You wrote an excellent piece of petry here. it inspires me to write more of my own , which will be posted soon, I might add. Very, very ethereal.

  • Cinara
    July 25, 2006
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    It's so good to read you again.
    Your work continues to inspire


  • Aun Ali
    July 25, 2006
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    Well said indeed in a different and a unique style. World is black indeed, Truth is indeed white, guilt is hard to swallow, Fear keeps growing, God knows all, sees all.

    Good work. All truth, fact and exact. To the point, nothing unwanted.


  • Iohagh
    July 25, 2006
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    Darling DH

    Your writing is rain
    pouring, rinsing, dying stains
    changing souls without end
    as God's sun befriends.

    Smoosh

    Janet


  • robert bolin
    July 24, 2006
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    Holy cow bat man --- Super man just got ran down by a green tri coloured volks wagon gt, And the license plate read cryptonite..
    This is a very powerful poem and to whom ever should doubt his faith his fate will come to meet thy sword so that thy other will believe him when he dies in war...
    Agin like I've always said you are one hell of a poet and I love how you put this poem together, thank you for allowing me to read and comment on your work and best of luck to you in this contest,


  • janejainejayne gold member
    July 24, 2006
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    Wonderful!

    Dear DH, Read the bible a lot yesterday and about David!
    Unfortunately, tonight, I am just drinking white wine. but i really do believe the world is probably coming to an end....
    at least the human part of it. This was a wonderful poem! Jane


  • earthstar
    July 24, 2006
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    Excellent idea

    this is very good it covers the whole arguement to what or being a christain can or can not be it truly is and inspired poem we should not wait till we decide or it can be too late very good write i truly admire this poem the comments it inspired is very good thanks for sharing much love b

  • Cannonsfire
    July 24, 2006
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    How true this is

    Everything we learn, we learn as a child. From love to fear and you have put this into a poem that is very succinct. I thoroughly felt the emotion in every word you wrote.


  • TolkienGirl20
    July 24, 2006
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    Have you ever read a poem that wasn't just a poem? I mean the kind of writing that goes beyond the page, and plucks the very strings of your own heart? Well, that is what this poem is like to me. Beautiful and sad, but so very, very real.


  • July 24, 2006
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    great

    This was a very nice piece. I am sure you dont need me to tell you that, look at allyour beautiful comments! Keep up all the great work and i wish you the best of luck in everything that you decide to do.
    XoXo
    Courtney ♥ 's you!!
    <333


  • scorpio rising
    July 24, 2006
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    Very somber and a little morbid, but also very true. You write with such honesty and passion, that although dark, it was enjoyable to read. Obviously you are a passionate and sensitive person, with an intelligent mind. Good work, keep, keeping on!!


  • Emmjay
    July 24, 2006
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    Very Good

    An enjoyable piece. I like the dark imagery portrayed here. The message is clear and precise. I think the most powerful stanza is the first "Fear watered by guilt, grows strong in the mind of a child".

    And as those children grow strong our world is then ruled by what we have taught them.
    Very good, thought inspiring write. -Emmjay


  • spoken to silence x
    July 24, 2006
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    <3

    Wow, amazing. Absolutely amazing.

  • CountryCousin
    July 24, 2006
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    Very interesting.

    Welll there is a difference between the cult beliefs and true Christianity. The Christian at least the ones comfortable in their faith know that they will be ultimately alright. I spent a lot of time in fear of something that I should not have been, perhaps it was the old school of our parents and others. But I do believe we come to a point where we can be comfortable with our faith. You know the old saying from Mad Magazine. "Who me, worry?" I go back to something Mark Lowery said in concert. "Lord if I had known that I would survive it when I went through it, I would have had a lot more fun." This is not putting down faith but affirming my own. Really written well about the fear tactics used by dubious religious leaders. Prepare but be secure in your faith.

  • herbal gardens
    July 24, 2006
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    Way awsome scroll,definatly makes me stop n think, well, change the track at least. Anyways, excellent piece.
    ~Christopher


  • PolkaDot
    July 24, 2006
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    Wow.....that was indeed genius poetry....along the Jim Morrison lines! '

    Swallow your guilt quickly,and
    you barely taste it going down

    That was the best line in my opnion! This was fantastic, I was absolutely intregued!


  • Danna Hobart
    July 24, 2006
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    Can you point out the problems with the rhythm for me?

  • Danna Hobart
    July 24, 2006
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    Wow, your comment was so poetic. Thank you for your thoughts. When you finish your poem, please let me know so I can read it.

  • Danna Hobart
    July 24, 2006
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    Thank you very much. You are right, the fear and guilt is instilled, starting from infancy. God should not need fear or guilt to keep his followers. Worshipping him should be a joy, not something done out of fear of punishment.

  • hks
    July 24, 2006
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    i didnt like the rythm so much.. but nevertheless a tight write... wooot!! AWESOME WRITE!! Lol its really touching too... much love to da bg too!


  • Poetically Correct
    July 24, 2006
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    heavene or hell

    Mmm hunh, don't straddle the fence. I like teh introspect and teh inner child.

  • gaerielle
    July 24, 2006
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    genius

    OUfffff this is absolute genius poetry!!! Yep tell me about their one and only truth, the end, Satan and the demons.. Shamans of grand seances of faith killing.. You just can't live your regular day without having a panic attack thinking Armageddon is here, the red harlot and the beast will tear my throat and my body will be scattered around for the birds' meals.. 25 years ago i heard The End was near.. i'm still here and not theirs thank God! I must say that some zealous obsessed are remarkable rattling anthropologists of the faith with a strange suffocating dawn.. Guilt and fear will weave in a ceremony of lightning, snakes and arrows into dictatorship and confinement of the mind. My God is great, highly understanding and compassionate, not choosy about one special sect or cult.. or being choke by one special magazine.. and i can freely talk with him and not be censored. By the way, God's name in hebrew is Yahweh. I am totally inspired to write poetry on this as well. Thanks a million. Nice banner on the left.


  • IrishYndina
    July 24, 2006
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    That's really one of the things that scares me about Christianity (and organized religion in general): the guilt and fear it instills in people, and all of the things that leads to (think of the Crusades, even). Don't get me wrong - overall, I really appreciate a lot of the tenets of Christianity and definitely the aesthetics of it (I think that such strong belief can't be called anything less than stunningly beautiful). It's just a shame that all of the good has to be balanced with all of the bad. Bah, listen to me rant You have an amazing way with words. You phrase things uniquely, and it somehow sounds better. Your opening stanza mesmerized me, and your last two lines took my breath away. I can definitely see how this took first place (in any contest, no less ). I really enjoyed the dichotomies you played with in the poem (black and white, good and evil, etc), and if anything you could work a bit more with those (that is, if you're looking for anything to work on). The Biblical imagery and metaphor was exceptional, too, by the way. Bah, I ramble a lot...anyways, I loved it, congrats, and I'm going to stop typing now

  • Danna Hobart
    July 24, 2006
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    You poor thing. I know exactly how you feel. I believed for years after I left, and I had accepted the fact that I would die in Armageddon and slip into everlasting non-existance. I believed that until I took some history courses at the local community college, and found out that man has been predicting the end of time since the beginning of time, and that there have always been signs pointing to it. When I read the story of how Cortez was mistaken as a god when he landed in Mexico, and how Montezuma believed it because he met all the signs (having yellow hair and pale skin, it was the right year, he arrived in the clouds; sail boats, etc...) and was taken advantage of because of it, well, it all sort of clicked for me. Montezuma made the same mistake that the Witnesses do in looking for signs and believing the end was coming. It was a relief to know that time had gone on.

    After that I took some philosophy and comparitive religion classes. They helped me to let go of all the witness fears I still clung to.

    I still believe in God, I still call him Jehovah, and I still talk to him every day, but I no longer feel that he is loves only one organization on earth. I have seen evidence of Holy Spirit working in the lives of people who are not Witnesses. I als came to see that religion is a matter of Geography more than anything else. If I were born in India, I would be Hundu, if I were born in Afghanistan, I would be Muslim, and people who belong to those religions believe just as strongly as the Witnesses do.

    Sorry for sounding preachy. I guess that is one part of being a Witness that doesn't go away.
    Edited on Jul 24, 3:49 p.m. because 'typo'.


  • Puppydog gold member
    July 24, 2006
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    A TRULY WONDERFUL POEM

    Your words are the truth for so many of us, we all at times have to not only admit our guilt but work through it to find happiness once more.

  • Danna Hobart
    July 24, 2006
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    Wow, I never expected to win this contest. I really enjoyed the challenge though. Thanks for posting it, and for the gold. I am really excited.

    Thank you for the awesome critique as well. I posted it hot off the press, and as you know, my work is in a constant state of revision, so I will be making the changes you suggested.


  • zillion
    July 24, 2006
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    I always feared this myself, the rapture, end or 'coming' of the Lord that everyone spoke of all the time. I used to fear any type of light music thinking it was trumpets. Especially after all the pictures of skeletons spearing babies and headless horses stomping over women trying to protect their children that I saw as a kid. It's gross to think about how much of a distorted image some people give even to young children, almost like to frighten them into believing. The child never knowing whether they believe enough to ride away with God or if they will be left behind to be stomped on my creatures their imagination thinks up.

    'The Fear

    grows like corn stalks,
    it closes you in.

    The Guilt,'

    Those words most certainly describe it well. Fear and guilt. Sends some kind of shudder down your spine thinking baout it doesn't it? ehm....


    I just wanted to mention:

    They see everything
    from their Watchtowers.
    (everything but people’s hearts)

    Parenthesis should be used to add detail to a sentence of kinda 'tell more' or the story. In This line the sentence is already complete so the ( ) is unneeded. It could be used, however, if worded like:

    They see everything
    (but the people's hearts)
    from their Watchtowers.

    Also, in some sentences, 'and' isn't needed all that much. Like in the sentence:

    'and never, ever ask questions.'

    Try taking and out.

    never, ever ask questions.


    also in the sentence:


    'Swallow your guilt quickly
    and you barely taste it going down'

    Awesome lines. Again though, I would do without 'and'

    Swallow your guilt quickly,
    you barely taste it going down


    Other than that, the poem is very creative and does indeed bring back some haunting memeories.

    -Faithful Dreamer

  • quakietree
    July 24, 2006
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    Nights are long
    with covers pulled over your head,
    incanting the name Jehovah
    to save you from demons
    lurking in dark corners

    I was this same girl. Pictures form the "Paradise" book terrified me. When I was in my twenties, massive flocks of blackbirds assured me that the end was near.
    A few nights ago the evening light was an erie yellow- it crossed my mind as I went out to see, "Is now the time?"

    I still believe and wish I was worthy.
    Maybe someday. . .
    qt


  • moonmagick
    July 24, 2006
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    Your poem is intriguing. I've been there, maybe not quite the same, but awfully close. You feel guilty for not believing, when the truth is... you are looking to be set free. Religion regardless of the name, is still a human act. It binds and hurts, I don't see the higher being wanting that for anyone. Blessed be. Don't give up on yourself, shed what you don't need. Your writing is phenomenal.


  • LadyUnique silver member
    July 24, 2006
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    'unworthy seed that grew too close to the fence'
    this had me thinking of those who don't truly believe, who are putting on the face of faith when in reality they don't know which way to go. they are wavering so therefore easy prey.
    in the case of a child tho religion can be awful scary. there is so much they don't understand and if they aren't allowed to ask questions then confusion turns to guilt.
    i could go on and on about this but will stop now and just simply applaud


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    July 24, 2006
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    Your welcome. This poem awakened (very briefly) some old wounds, however, they'll be "tucked back into bed" where they belong. Freedom is to precious to give away for security of thought.


  • Danna Hobart
    July 24, 2006
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    Thank you! At last someone who truly understood what I was writing about. I really appreciate your comment.

  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    July 24, 2006
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    Very well done

    Great rant against the abuses committed by organized religion.
    Thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Glad my childhood religion got left behind, now I'm free to practice spiritual principles instead.


  • dbestmary
    July 24, 2006
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    wel done

    i may be begener and not expert in english but i have enough feeling to tell you that your poeme is extremly sensual and put me in your world the way you speal thing ar extraordinary
    continue
    maryam


  • Danna Hobart
    July 24, 2006
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    Thank you for your insightful comment.

  • Son of Jim
    July 24, 2006
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    That was extremely interesting. The form, the build the concep the message. Fresh language, you have done very well. I am not usually into poems of faith or hope, but the weird thing is I read it twice, than backwards once, that is by stanza. I just liked it alot, especially the less obvious lines like your heart, your room and fear grows like a cornstalk in closes in on you.


  • Danna Hobart
    July 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Why is that your favorite part of the poem?

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