Trying to grasp
a handful of sand at the beach,
I could not hold onto you.
Like the golden grains
I gave up
and
let you fall.
As the waves
splashed beneath my feet,
I couldn't
look you in the eyes,
I couldn't
bear those final words.
At that moment
I knew forever had arrived.
This hole
in my heart was greater,
As I turned
and walked away
from you
I sensed your tears.
Like the sand,
our days
were swept out by the sea,
memories erased
as the tide came in.
Knowing that tomorrow
those thoughts would be buried,
fresh grains of love would scramble to the surface.
Author notes
Pretty much the first free verse poem i ever wrote.
Option: Breakups
A contest entry
- Lyric/Convo/Phrase Options (Come on, enter. You know you want to...) by Emm Jayy.
900 points, ended January 11, 2008, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Have it in you? by Hectic Michelle.
600 points, ended December 9, 2007, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Whole Lot Of Options by reckless abandon.
450 points, ended May 9, 2008, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Super Quick PW by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended May 31, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1708 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quikie 1 hour contest pw allowed about love by PurpleSky.
400 points, ended October 7, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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wow this has won a trophy in almost every contest entered lol. awswome job and awsome write. this was so beautiful. thank you for taking the time to enter and good luck to you
huggles
Lena -
You have a cery good way of writing keep it up. Thank you for entering the contest.
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That was fantastic!
I can see well...and feel why you
compare love to a beach.
Right in every way, yes?
Good luck!
-Emily
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This is your first free verse? wow thats pretty amazing and this is so good for the first one and overall is amazing
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wow, that's really good. It's hard to believe that you do not usually write free verse. It had wonderful imagery. If you would please put the option number in your notes... it was a rule.
Good luck in the contests! -
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Added option in author notes =] x
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Good usage of imagery, by comparing the sand with masking the emotions of love and such.
I really liked your background
-Thank you for your entry, Angi Terese -
This is incredible for not typically writing in free verse. Thanks for entering and great job.
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aww wow wonderful poem and love the layout, lol. good luck in the contests =)
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This is a bittersweet love poem but what does it tell us of tolerance or any revolutionary dialectic, let alone peace
I have to go look; do I have the right contest? What was the purpose or the required theme? I am confused. This sounds so very lovely but it speaks to me more of a walk on the beach of two lovers or friends, who are parting from each other, than of any peace, justice, or even act of tolerance.
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It wasnt meant to be about tolerance or revolution or whatever lol...i think you are looking in the wrong contest... xx
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This is beautiful and so brilliant of a write. You have such fresh and crisp imagery and comparison. I admire this piece.
Thanks for entering your write in A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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i love how there are so much emotion into the poem. well gone. There are alot of parts in your poem i really liked, your words come off very strong and i like it. thank you for sharing your poem, i liked it alot.
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DAMN. You've poured major emotions into this poem, and I can feel them as soon as I start reading. This was an amazing poem to put to the lyric! You have a lot of great talent. Amazing job and good luck in the contest!
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short and sweet. thanks for entering. best of luck in the contest.
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I've always hated the beach. Now I hate it even more. This is such a tragic write. A heartbroken story so many have felt and seen. Great write. Thank you for entering my contest.
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relateable...
...many times over for me! l.o.l.!this was a very good piece in my opinion. congrats on the bronze.
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The ending was alright, but the poem as a whole was a bit cliche-ish and simple.
Thank you for your entry,
Best of luck.
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Good romantic piece. I liked your use of alliteration here.
Thanks for your comments.
Pozo
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i like this poem.. i think its very well written and its beautifully full of emotions n feelings. great job writing it!! thanx 4 entering n good luck in my contest!
xoxo rachel -
High Tide Of A Write
Surfs up! That a totally powerful, dude. -
For a first time try at this style, it's impressive. The emotions flow freely from it, used in all the right ways. The only thing I personally might have done is related the tears to the saltwater of the ocean in some subtle way. Keep writing! ~Arovell
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No, it doesn't suck. I loved the sand-related similes that you used. Good poem.
~Evan~ -
it doesn't suck. I love it!
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I love this poem. It's very interesting.... never read anythign like this. it's a great poem. keep up the great work
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i love the imagery in this poem, i really do i think its vivid and very very good, i havent read anything like this and i know if i read anything similar this will still top that, this is a great poem it doesnt suck at all lol, brill write
laura -
The sand metaphor is followed through out the poem and you certainly conveyed a sense of saddness and regret. Thank you for entering the contest. I will be back around to read your poetry again after it closes.
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