Introducing the WGWBDHTBAI
Sanitary Diaper Pad Napkin
Yes, Ladies
..the 2006 model of
"We've Got Wings But Don't Have to Brag About It"
Will soon be available in drugstores around the world.
But the Wings feature
is the last thing we want to impress you with
after all
Anyone can cut out extra wide sides
stopping that mysterious blue liquid you see on commercials from leaking.
How many of you women leak blue liquid anyways?
If you do, I'm afraid you're in need of more then just a good pad..
You may have accidently ingested anti-freeze!
Get to a doctor now!
Ahem - So anyways...
Our napkin is a cut above the rest
Performing the "Maintainence As You Wear"
function
Giving you a hot wax
when you just don't have the time to clear the brush
bush or for some forests
It even has a Vibrating Tickle Myself System
and you'll start looking forward to having your period!
For the older women
who are going through menopause
and no longer have their monthly...
You can use it solely as a
Panty-liner Sneeze Urine Absorber
Ever wonder if you're spotting
but can't get away to check
Not to worry
The WGWBDHTBAI has a leak siren that blares
a horn (honk honk)
when accidents are about to happen
And for those athletic girls
who for some reason or other
feel the need to jump up
and land down hard doing the splits...
it's equipped with an airbag and cooling fan
So like, what are you waiting for?
Your period?
Preorder yourself a box today
By calling 1 800 Diaper-Pad
~
Comments and link to the poem in author's notes....all four of these comments had me rolling ... Author notes
*powerslave* on Jul 24, 2005, 2:30 p.m.
Aim low to avoid disappointment 833 critiques, 19 poems. said:
Being male and not possessing a vagina (though I have many magazines on the subject), I can’t really comment on your product. So I brought my agent a box, and here’s what she said:
"Being a lady of 47 with slight incontinence, irregular periods and an impotent husband – I was eager to try this product out. And boy was I surprised by it! Firstly I must comment on the super absorbent pad. Now this, with its ability to soak up a tsunami size piss dribble, is really worth the price alone. Never again will I run the risk of trench foot from a wayward trickle of urine! The hot wax dispenser is heaven send - now I can get a Brazilian on the bus. And the vibrating rubber lining certainly makes up for my husbands timid todger! I’ve recommended this product to everyone, and I’ve only heard good comments in return. Even my 96 year old neighbour is a fan! This really is a must have for any self respecting lady." Mrs C Bristow, 47, Dilby-on-the-Wald. (delete?) (reply?)
*Ogreatbaldone* on Jul 24, 2005, 3:08 p.m.
Peace, Paix, Shalom 1764 critiques, 234 poems. (moderator) said:
when it is your monthly time
dont just sit and bitch and whine
this new pad is a great find
gotta get some for that lady of mine
so grab your self a box
so you dont leak on your socks
push the button and gently rock
some say it feels beeter than a cock
you can wax while on the bus
it comes away clean -no fuss no muss
pull it too quick and you will cuss
and draw the attention of the rest of us
so use it discreetly while at home
so you can pee or wax or moan
leave it on while youre at work
and on your face you will have a smirk
this is very wacky gal, but i expect no less from you...peace Terry
*rufina caraid* on Jul 24, 2005, 10:00 p.m.
Checkout our NEW Oldpoetry 6176 critiques, 74 poems. (moderator) said:
Oh what a hoot, gawd what a laugh
I nearly split my sides in half,
A pad that doesn't make you ill
Was the wax made in Brazil?
Incontinence – I deal with every day
Not personally I have to say,
Old ladies with their bladders shot
Don't always make it to the pot
With these pads the load would be light
And help them get right through the night.
Panty-liner Sneeze Urine Absorber
Sounds to me like a money-spinner.
Another 'curly one' FN (Friggin Nutter)
Von~ (delete?) (reply?)
*wheezyanna* on Jul 25, 2005, 2:12
Less is More -- more or less. 726 critiques, 16 poems. said:
OMG my bladder's gone
I should have had one of those on
I'm glad that I don't still pee blue
But I must confess this tale to you.
Many years ago if I felt ill
I took a little blue/grey pill
Made by a man by name DeWitt
For bladder woes it was a hit
Impurities were flushed straight through
Problem was - you peed bright blue!!!
You rock my socks off gal
Cheers
Anne
Here is the link to the poem page...
allpoetry.com/Poem/2140089
Written July 24th, 2005
A contest entry
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