Lines combine
Spaces break apart
Black out
Colors cycle in a whirlwind
Black turns Red
White turns Blue
The others Black or white
In turn turns Red or Blue
Is it my fault
I'm lost without you
I cannot read
I cannot speel
I can buy happiness
But
I guess that's not so good
Through what I've been shown
No ones' perfect
I know this too well
I look through
what's happened
in this tragedy
How did it happen
Could've it have been prevented
Why couldn't I have been
there to save you?!
It happened too fast
It hit me as hard as you
But it hit hours later
In the form of news
Devastated
I fall to my knees
and yell to the heavens,
Crying:
"How..?
How can this be!?
This wasn't meant... to be.
It's all wrong
it couldn't have been me!?
...
It has already happened
I must move on
Thrive on as you wanted
me to do in your dreams
I will continue to pray for you
as you are forever in my dreams."
Author notes
it may be called Day I Lost my best friend, but it can be for anyone as in anyone who needs to read at a funeral this would be great.
In a list
A contest entry
- spill your pretty lil s.o.u.l on paper and gimme by x.digital.love.x.
590 points, ended March 10, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sadness and Misery by thedevilsgirl.
324 points, ended May 30, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - $MONEY$ [S]u[c]c[e]s[s] F.a.m.e *~Glamour~* by Xombii.
601 points, ended May 28, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pick a TITLE and write.. Very simple!! by Angierie.
700 points, ended February 23, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sad Poems please :):) by LeilaJayne.
1400 points, ended January 23, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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.....*looks down*
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I like the suspense of this piece and feel the heart of it. Good one.
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Very moving!! Many will be able to relate to it...
Thanks for entering!! -
Lots and lots of emotion here.
Great write and Thanks So Much for entering!
Angie -
There is so much sorrow in this piece, it's hard not to be moved by it.I like that you feelings (thoughts) are chaotic but the writing is so controlled and focused.
It flows so well.
""How..?
How can this be!?
This wasn't meant... to be.
It's all wrong
it couldn't have been me!?"
How many times have so many people asked this question?
Who knows the answer?
You have done an incredible job with this write.
Best of luck in the contest.
-
thank you so much for entering this....its really good. it made me cry because since jue i've lost some friends about 7 friends, and this is how i've felt every time.
How..?
How can this be!?
This wasn't meant... to be.
It's all wrong
it couldn't have been me!?
...
It has already happened
I must move on
Thrive on as you wanted
me to do in your dreams
I will continue to pray for you
as you are forever in my dreams."
definitely my favortie stanza.good luck in the contest. -
tis awesomeness
lost in a world of tragedy, death occurs often, but the death of a friend hits harder than most, i thank you for entering, i liked reading you poem, and good luck -
This was a well written poem. Overall i liked it. So thanks for entering & best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampireblood~~~ -
5 Stages of Grief
Lines combine
Spaces break apart
Black out
Colors cycle in a whirlwind
Black turns Red
White turns Blue
The others Black or white
In turn turns Red or Blue
Is it my fault
I'm lost without you
I cannot read
I cannot speel
I can buy happiness
But
I guess that's not so good
Through what I've been shown
No ones' perfect
I know this too well
(This stanza is great, establishes well your confused feeling which sets up the next part well.)
I look through
what's happened
in this tragedy
How did it happen
Could've it have been prevented
Why couldn't I have been
there to save you?!(denial)
It happened too fast
It hit me as hard as you
But it hit hours later
In the form of news
Devastated
I fall to my knees
and yell to the heavens,
Crying:
"How..?
How can this be!?
This wasn't meant... to be.
It's all wrong
it couldn't have been me!?(anger, depression, - I think you meant why couldn't it have been me here which accomplishes the next stage of grief - bargaining)
...
It has already happened
I must move on
Thrive on as you wanted
me to do in your dreams
I will continue to pray for you
as you are forever in my dreams."(final stage acceptance, I think the third and fourth lines in this stanza are choppy)
All-in-all I thought this poem was very well written and explains the grief and cycle to losing a loved well.
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