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Shattered Porcelain

 




Stumbling
     through shadowed memories;
              Lost
                 within a forgotten past.










Here they come again;
        caressing painted porcelain
                millions of tiny molecules,
                           just one after the other.










One by one,
                 d
                   o
                    w
                      n
                        they come.










Confused
        by tainted actions of love;
             Shaking
                  beneath frigid hands of disgust.










Here they come again;
        traveling different paths
                along fractures formed,
                       just one after the other.










One by one,
                 d
                   o
                    w
                      n
                        they come.








Hiding,
       blanketed in shame;
            Loathing,
                bathed in self blame










Here they come again;
          obsidian tinted droplets
                 erasing porcelain's paint,
                          just one after the other.









One by one,
                 d
                   o
                     w
                        n
                          they come.










Pretending,
         wearing a smiling mask;
              Dying,
                 from an abomination's touch.










Here they come again;
          intense pressure building
               shattering delicate porcelain,
                              just one after the other.








My tears;
             hard,
                  heavy,
                        and quick






One 
      by
          one,
                 f
                   a
                l
                   l
                i
                   n
                g



Author notes

You said enter whatever we choose.....

So here I give you my past.


This is a style completely new for me to have written in.
Thought I would try something different this time around.
Written July 22nd, 2006

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Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • luckynsincere
    July 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Presentation is everything to me.. and you my dear drew me into your words with the first stanza.. the freedom of these falling words made it soothing to read. Very well done Bel... this is one of my favorites by you Thanks for sharing

  • mmmmmcheeseisgood
    July 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow, that's so much better then the poem I entered.


  • Kari gold member
    July 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this was very good


  • Ah.Sosha.
    July 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This was absolutely beautiful... I don't really know what else to say... It was wonderful
    ♥'s
    sosha


  • Abscessed
    July 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed the way you presented your poem - original and unique - each line break gives the reader enough time to pause and interpret your line in their own way.

    The poem itself was also well penned - I enjoyed reading this thoroughly and I wish you luck in the challenge

    abscessed


  • Celticpoet silver member
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    A work of real beauty and emotional power!


  • HekatesMinion
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    If this style is completely new to you then you obviously have a great understanding of how to make it work and put it all together. I thought that it was beautiful, engaging, imaginative and well put together, telling a story with smooth words. Amazing.


  • darell
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Passionate!

    Powerful and intensely emotional. The senses are stirred
    and shaken with a onslot of reactions. Darkness trail on
    every line. Fear and doom lurks in the shadows of melancholy
    and regrets. Although this poem is filled with angst and
    sadness there is a kind of drama that surrounds like a
    Steven Spielberg motion picture. This write was done in
    grand style. Your writing is simply remarkable.
    Excellent work. Bravo my friend!


  • Sunkissedrose
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I loved the way the poem encompassed the picture. It made you feel..it made you open your eyes. This was a wonderfully written piece, and I wish you luck.
    ~Carrie


  • Heavenly Angel gold member
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A most awesome and wonderful write, sweet sister mine! Damn girl, but you can write!
    I wish you all the very best in this contest, gf!
    Love ya,
    Sandy


  • Poetic-Dreamer
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I loved how on the page and read it is art. Bravo. This really reminded me of an Evanscence song and is truely touching. Great job.


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I love the wording in this poem and the style in which it was written. The style so fitted the topic. Very well done..Great work.

    Soulful Woman

  • agatha7
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    LOVELY

    VERY NICE READING, IT TOCHED ME.

  • piccola silver member
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    TRUELY A POEM! the wording was excellent..I loved the flow and just everything about it.


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    when one shares one's soul, there is magic. there is magic in this mystic expression of self. the form is prfect...it allows for those gray areas bewteen the black and white. It also so very impacting...we do, we do fall down, we do ahve things that make us weep. We can not always be up there for everyone when our hearts are heavy. Your truth is brilliant.


  • silverflowers
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I loved the way you played with the words down and falling, it's so creative. You have painted a lovely picture here with your words. I can really relate to these feelings that you have portrayed. Thank you for sharing your poem with everyone!


  • jessica14895
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    spectacular

    That was so... there isn't even a word for it. There was so much emotion in it, I could feel it. By the time I got to the end, I didn't want it to stop! It's one of the best I have read on this site, and there have been alot. I hope you'll keep writing!
    ~jjC~

  • Bad Bill
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Excellent piece, and the format is original and captivating.
    Regards,
    Bill

  • June-bug
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    Absoulutly amazing, the format and graphic are wonderful, The layout just keeps the reader holding on for the next line. Love it, What a talent. wonderful job.


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellant

    Great style, related to the meaning of the poem, to which I could really relate. You're an excellent writer. Suggestion: if you haven't already, how about trying the "flip side" and writing something inspirational?


  • dustookie2
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Perfect in everyway

    i am printing this piece as i shows beautifully how presentation can go that extra pace from being one brilliantly penned poem to an outstanding one. The layout forces the reader to pause break their thought then read on putting the poet in total control There is not one point in this write that i can give honest review on apart from EXCELLENT.This is one of the best poems I have seen anywhere for awhile well one that grabs my attention. good luck in the contest you certainly have raised the bar for the rest.


  • Exodus gold member
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow. The visual effects in this poetry are amazing and the poem itself is just as good. I love the repetition of the patterns. The last stanza is very beautiful!

    I love this style of poetry because not only are the words beautiful but the presentation is too, right down to the font.

    The simplicity of everything else makes the words so much more powerful than they already are.

    Just amazing.


  • Tears from within
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I have never read anything like this. I love that this is so original and also I love the way that you have this wrote. Very beautiful to look at and clean but also beautiful and read and it has a great flow. This is really a peice that you can say is a work of art. Keep up the good work!


  • Tatianna Valcor
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    OMG Auntie this was freaking amazing! I LOVED this form, you have done so well. I think you are doing a fantastic job trying new forms. AS to the words they were sad yet so emotional! Great job, you are such a great poetess. Makes me want to try a form like that lol!


  • Imperfect Beauty
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is good. a diffrent and original style. i really liked this!


  • honey bear
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    exelent

    exelent work but you never offer anything but. good luck in the contest


  • bedazzled
    July 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting imagery created through not only your words but they way in which you have formatted them. Lovely piece

1 - 27 of 27