To gaze into the clear water
And see my growth reflected
In the gently flowing stream
I still remember coming here with you
But of us sitting at the water's edge
Two children's minds
Thinking and acting as one
Two children's hearts
Beating in time together
But the reflection is different now
This child's mind
Has been molded into a noble soul
And the rhythm of this child's heart
has turned to deep affection
Time has passed, like the flow of the stream
Carrying us as a stream carries pebbles
Never ceasing, never resting
But now, the merciless current of time
Has carried these two pebbles apart
Your mind and my mind
No longer think as one
Your heart and mine
They no longer beat together
The great river of time has taken us
our own separate ways
The clear water's surface reflects my growth
But it no longer reflects you...
Author notes
Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
"Time passes, people move. Like a river's flow, it never ends. A childish mind will turn into noble ambition, young love will become deep affection. The clear water's surface reflects growth..."
- Shiek
Lots of metaphors in this one! That's becoming more and more typical of my pieces, my writing style is really starting to change! I stayed up all night working on this, and I think I like the result.
But, that aside. Despite the fact that it was a contest option, this piece seems to reflect a lot of what's happening in my life. It's a very relevant topic, something that's happened to all of us. I think we've all had that "great river of time" carry someone we love away from us. They get taken from our lives. Out of our "reflection."
But even though it can take away the person, it can never take away our love for the person. I think that's a great underlying theme here.
Written July 20th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
-
This is by far the most mature poem you've shared with us here. Many thanks for the pleasure. I've often felt the same aching and mourning. Distance can make the heart grow fonder, but it tends to act as a tombstone, an inseparable barrier between an idyllic past and a lonely future. I cannot begin to speak of the emotion this poem awakens.


-
amazing...
great imagery this poem shows truly what you feel i can feel that emotion also when I read your poetry nicely done...i will be coming back to read more of your poetry...it very enjoyable... -
I read a haiku you wrote for a contest and it brought me to your page to read more of your work. I'm glad I did. Your poetry speaks volumes in imagery and words.
-
i really liked this write. i like the idea you used behind it. a very good description providing clear imagery. good luck in the contest.
-
Dang that was good. I haven't been really looking at your poems, I'll try to do that more. I agree with all those themes you wrote in the author's comments, you demonstrated those wonderfully in the poem. Awesome poem! Keep writing!
-
Very Good
Wow this is a great pice of work Brian I liked this one alot it is great -
wow..this ones so beautiful
really loved the flow and
the way it is written
superb thoughts
this ones really one of the lovelist i have read
geat write



