Big Nosed Bandit Treasure Hunt

A/N
Before I begin, I have to explain.
On the last day of school, I mapped out all of the empty lockers in the entire school (yes, every one of them). I then proceeded to hide the books of a friend- Taylor- in various lockers. I fit them according to his schedule, too (i.e. He would not find his third period class book until his third clue, etc.)
Things you need to know about Taylor to understand these jokes:
He's a George Bush fan.
He doesn't like liberals, so that's what we call him: Taylor the Liberal
He has a big nose, so whenever we took his stuff we'd declare, "The Big Nosed Bandit hath struck again!"

And that's really all you need to know. The clues are numbered, and I just thought it would be sorta funny to see what we put him through.
Enjoy.








1) Oh, Liberal! Oh, Liberal!
I have a riddle,
To help give you back all your stuff.

So be on your guard:
Think long and hard,
For I assure you that this riddle’s tough!

I’ll have you do Math,
While we point and laugh,
So tell me what’s eighty plus two?

In there if you look,
You’ll find your first book,
Along with your next little clue.


80 + 2 = ____



2)  Your books: They’ve all gone missing!
But it’s a problem you can fix!
Just look in Min’s old locker:
Number One-hundred-twenty-six.


3) The bell will ring soon! You’d better act fast!
You’ll find your next book: In your 4th period class!

4) Hello Big Nose, how are you?
You’ve lost your books? Well, whoopdie doo!
To the office you shall go!
Where’s your books? You’ll never know!

5) It’s not my problem, but it is my fault!
The Big Nosed Bandit shall never be caught!
“I’m Taylor, the Liberal! Look at me!
I’ll find my next book in locker 133!”

6) Are these clues too tough? Well, you could have had none!
Besides, won’t you be glad when this thing is done?
I said 133, but guess what? I lied!
Really, your book’s in locker 135.

7) The Big Nosed Bandit says these clues are too easy,
And he thinks your toupee looks unconvincing and cheesy,
“It’s Taylor, the Liberal! Oh, gee golly gee!
He can find his next book in locker 73!”

8) “You are old Father William,” the young man said,
”And your hair has become very white.
And yet you incessantly stand on your head,
Do you think, at your age, it is right?”

“In my youth,” Father William replied to his son,
”I feared it might injure my brain.
But now that I’m perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again!”

“You are old,” said the youth, “as I mentioned before,
And you have grown most uncommonly fat,
Yet you turned a back somersault in at the door,
Pray, what is the reason of that?”

”In my youth,” said the sage as he shook his grey locks,
”I kept a my limbs very supple.
With the use of this ointment- one shilling-a-box,
Allow me to sell you a couple?”

”You are old,” said the youth, “and your jaws are too weak,
To chew much other than suet.
Yet you ate the whole goose, with the bones and the beak,
Pray, how did you manage to do it?”

“In my youth,” said his father, “I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife.
And the muscular strength it has lent to my jaw
Has lasted the rest of my life.”

“You are old,” said the youth, “One would hardly suppose,
that your eye was as steady as ever.
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose,
What made you so awfully clever?”

“I have answered three questions, and that is enough!”
Said his father, “Don’t give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I’ll kick you downstairs!”

Father William, in fact, resides in our school,
He’s a teacher who’s never been wrong.
And though he can make you feel like a fool,
On his guitar he can play you a song.

FIND FATHER WILLIAM!!!

9) “Where are my books?” Taylor screamed with such might,
”We don’t know!” we replied with mock-fright.
”My books are not here! I’ve searched, and I’ve groped!
And I’ve about had all that I can cope!”
Taylor whined and he cried, and he quoted George Bush,
Jason said “Penguin”; J.T. called him a wuss.
At last we felt sorry for the George Bush obsessed fan,
And admitted that his last book had been given to Stan.

10) I lied once again! Are you truly surprised?
What a wonderful plan that I have devised!
It’s full of fun rhymes, and ill-witted jokes,
Taylor’s bound to keep laughing until he finally chokes.
He’s missing a book, where could it be?
It seems to have gone from my memory!
“I’m a good person!”, or so says J.T.
Maybe he knows where your book could be!
It’s best you check his locker, by the Spanish class,
The bell shall ring soon! You’d better act fast!