see: allpoetry.com/poem/2129651
dedicated to Rohina
This woman,
more than the man,
strong, passionate, trusting
available, promising, virgin,
remarkable. Who can
stand for this woman?
This woman
who can
capture the power of touch
transform it into love
hope for forever.
This woman
vulnerable
willing to echo circumstance
just to taste forever.
This woman
represents a gift.
Who can
appreciate the value of this?
Can she in reflection, see she
is more than an image in
a man's eye?
Will she?
This woman
in partnership
with a human
grows trust
allows love to be a shower.
07/17/06
4:51 PM
Alexandria
Author notes
I have never done this before, created a poem directly in response to someone else's work. We have collaborated but this is different. She doesn't even know I wrote this. . . . Until, she does.
Written July 17th, 2006
In a list
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INNOSENCE IS DEVINE
I LOVE THIS WORK OF POETR -
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This was to give joy in return for all the gifts received. This was to bless where blessing might be needed. Most of all this was just to give thanks for a wonderful human being on the face of this earth.
Thanks for sharing your joy.
Love, Tom B.
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May every woman first find completion within herself before trying to be completed by another. The Flow is irregular, but I like the emphasis made by repetition.
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may she read this with a smile....and may every woman do so as well, for this sort of seems a dedication to all that have ever shared the true Soul within themselves.....and found the receptiveness and reciprocation in not merely a man....but another Soul and Spirit of being.
allow love to be a shower
will read Rohinas now
xoxoxo
reenie
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you should know that I consider myself knowledgeable about human beings. I should. I have spent my life studying them. Still, I feel ignorant and clumsy when I get near the true spirit of any human being. The perfection, possibilities, the beauty and strength, if only we could see our selves, below all the psycological and cultural crap -- we would never choose to harm anyone. It would be to painful. I do my best and I am glad that you and your daughters appreciate my attempts in free verse to express this incredible beauty. Love Tom B.
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brilliant & true
Once again I read you out loud to my daughters(all adults & poetry lovers) and we agree you have found the essence of the female and culled into these ardent most magnificent prose.
Thank you for respecting, loving, and being so honest about women in general....write ON!....ennovy
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We often look only at the gain side of a choice or question. We also must look at what is lost or changed, because you can't go back. Tom B.
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Why thank you. I love it when woman and men learn the power of strength is best expressed in gentle tenderness. Love, Tom B.
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Kept looking. Thanks for editorial comment, found it. You were right. Love Tom B.
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"more than the man" In the poem "Whimpers" she makes it about the man and how he has affected her. I think it is the woman who is really making everything happen. Love Tom B. P.S. Glad you enjoyed it. The world is always better when we celebrate magnificence.
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'more that an image' - than? Incredible piece, the entire thing is aweing. Great message and perfectly portrayed
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Powerful!
Wow, such a sweet and touching dedication! The strenght u talk about really shows through. -
Sweet!
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Tom,
thanks for sharing. My jury is still out. Maybe it is your style I need acquianting myself to. -
" is more that an image in"
is that supposed to be "than"??
this is a great response...
i love the point that "she" is giving up so much just for a hope, which may or may not come true... -
Oh Tom I am speechless at this very minute...
This whole piece is just so overwhelming...all these wonderful things you have said about me have really touched my heart
This woman
vulnerable
willing to echo circumstance
just to taste forever.
particularly made me smile because in my mind I was thinking of how we dont even know each others life details so well, but have yet managed to find each others mind and soul if only through reading each others poetry
I am so lucky to have you in my life Tom
Thank you so for this...really
Rohina
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Now that is an interesting response. My dedications to woman-kind . . . I know I am dedicated to humans being all that humans can be. I find it insufferable for woman as a classification taking a backseat to their lives. True partnership like true team work allows everyone to grow and be their best. This is what we as human beings should strive for. Love, Tom B.
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Very beautifully written tomis. It is always a joy to read your dedications to woman-kind.
Cheryl
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thanks dear. I appreciate and value your view point. I am quite pleases and well favored that you took the time to reveiw this. Peace and blessings on all that the morrow brings. Love, Tom B.
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Truth. I love her poetry and I love what my experience is of her. I admire and respect her ability as a poet. We are good friends. I think to simply say I love her is both the truth and makes it all sound trite. Still, this is my response to her poem. Love Tom B.
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Wow! What a great tribute to someone that you clearly admire! I like it! As I was reading this I felt that all your words showed a great deal of admiration and a sort of happiness to feel close to this person. Or maybe like that they're words just mean a whole lot to you? I was kind of flipping between wondering if you're just been affectionate or I don't know. I think I may have confused myself. I'm sure she'll like it either way. I think that you did a good job of expressing yourself here. So thanks for featuring this so that we all had a chance to share your words and feelings with you!
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This is very well crafted and I loved the form and flow. It has a message that what is giving is to be appreciated and valued, lovely piece of work from start to finish! hugs, Bunny
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Thanks. Sometimes I read poems and have strong inspirational responses. This time I totally gave in and let it be a poem. Love, Tom B.
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This made me read first the poem of which you replied to - a lovely write. Then your response to this poem. Virginity is something that is taken much too lightly these days, with young teens giving this away to any and all - enjoyed your write too.
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Glad you enjoyed yourself. The poetress is well worth the read. You are right. We do often get inspiration from others. I know I have several as a result. Tom B.
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I can understand liking the first half more than the second. It speaks to what we are looking for. You want to see not be told. Thanks for the comments. I appreciate the time it took. Tom B.
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Well, if you think about it, when we read and study the works of other poets it inspires our writings. So, the idea of answering another poem with a poem should be a surprise. I enjoyed the read.
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i liked this for the most part. the writing and descriptions remind me a lot of my style, just the way you form words together that don't seem to fit together as a metaphor, but really do once given more consideration. i like it. the woman seems interesting and strong and powerful. beautiful.
the first half is a lot stronger than the second half, however, and the first few lines are my favourite... -
I am glad you read both. I hope it created joy. Love, Tom B.
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Thank you. Tom B.
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Thanks Tink. I like to see woman be powerful and full of themselves. It changes the world for the better. Love, Tom B.
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I really love this, the format is unique. The words, they bring about many thoughts. Well done. Tink
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This is a worthy response to a very good poem. I like it a lot.
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Incredible work
Wonderful write... Intense poetry. I loved the original too!
Well done. -
Interesting, I don't think I have ever seen anyone write a return comment directly on someone else's piece. This gives the other side of the story well, without trying to sound exactly the same. It's a genuine alternative view point, and it holds the mood and feel of "Whimpers" (I only just read it) in that it is erotic without being brash or ugly.
I like this idea, and I like what it resulted in.
LB -
Thanks. I needed to hear that. I just wanted to get it out and after I read my review, i realized I needed to turn it into a poem. You know me. Friends first. Love, Tom B.
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A fool of yourself is something you did not do! You are wonderful my dear and she is lucky to have recvd such a lovely gift as this. you are wonderful.. A fool you are not!
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Thank you. What are friends for if not a place to get an honest reflection. Love, Tom B.
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Vosnesenski ( I hope I spelt this Russian Poets name right) said that "a poet is a prophet. Not a prophet of what shall be or what was, but a prophet of what is. The strength of his poetry is found that prophecy of that truth." I, personally, am very glad you enjoyed it. I just thought you should hear that quote. It is one of my guiding lights. Love, Tom B.
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Ah the response is as beautiful as well.
Seeing in her eye and allowing to see what it is like is interesting.
Very well written as well. -
I liked the format! It was different and insipring. I had a little hard time following it but I think I might go and read the other one that you have listed at the top as a link because then i might get a better idea as to what exactly this piece is referring too. I gathered that it was about a woman and it seems that she under estimates herself as well as has little trust. but she gains more at the end. hold on i want to read it again...i take it back. i feel that it is just a praise as to how wonderful this woman is. That she is more than simple but a gift a beauty in the eyes of her beloved...well maybe i am off but that is what i gather. Great write. I enjoyed reading it (twice). It made me think! Have a great day keep writing!
Sidra -
Very unique poem. I loved the flow and raw honesty.
Great Job, I enjoyed reading this..keep up the great work! -
Thanks for the vote of confidence. i wasn't sure if I wasn't making a damn fool of myself. Love, Tom B.
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I love this glimpse into your vision of your friend. Seeing one's self as others do is somtimes very difficult. There is such encouragement for her to see her worth, beauty, and potential...and you, dear tomis, leave imprints of your big heart everywhere you write!!
Klassy
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