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Fun

When it raises the sun,
It begins the fun,
And we run.

Author notes


Written July 17th, 2006

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • sweethelper
    July 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    nice write !!

  • kla
    July 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    good good


  • starwing
    July 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i would definitely like to see more...were you trying to write a haiku(i have a hard time with them)...but sweet none the less...shzoosy


  • Stormfire
    July 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    definately a good beginning.
    this could be a great fun poem with a little extra.
    well done.

    Moonglow

  • Momma To Be
    July 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    good start but you need to finish by adding more

1 - 5 of 5