For countless nights I stayed awake
With a choking feeling I could not shake
But amidst the gloom she came to brake
The vicious cycle of despair
She spoke the truth with great conviction
Helped me defeat an old addiction
Walked me out the realms of fiction
Where I sauntered for endless times
So again I stand with strength and pride
My quill, my pen, my sword against the tide
No longer in darkness will I have to hide
For to my mind and heart she brought salvation
Author notes
to the fallen star
my sweet little AP sis
Written July 16th, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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It is amazing how one life can touch another...the domino effect...I love it! Pam
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This is such a well written poem. I really enjoyed this and the rhyming structure was great. "Walked me out the realms of fiction". This is a wonderful line and this is such a great tribute to this person. They must love it. Well done.
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These are very nice and lovely words !!! I love your rhyme structure!!
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nothing like despair ending in victory..an inspiring write
Edited on Sep 21, 2:56 p.m. because ''. -
really good
me like
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Very nice to read indeed. I like this a lot. I'm sure your sister fully appreciates this. Good job.
Brian -
Hi, this is lovely and i full all love for that person, she must be very special, lovely write and I am happy you are free, she sounds like a little angel, all the best, hugs Di
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For countless nights I stayed awake
With a choking feeling I could not shake
But amidst the gloom she came to brake
The vicious cycle of despair
Nice tribute to a friend... nice tight poem.
Red -
Our words are our shield, or sword and our banner as we go to fight in any battle -liked this.
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Brilliant
This is an absolutely brilliant write. You speak of aid when it was so necessary. Our angels come to us in times of need, in whatever form they see fit, in this case, your AP sister. The flow and rhyme was spot on in my mind, and your gratitude is woven throughout this piece.
Take care
Dimitri -
wow this is mesmerizing. The words simply touch my heart and mind away - it is so emotive and deep. I love how you can project such critical views through a child's innocence. Great work!
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Wow. Great poem.
I like the way you write, so deep and filled with emotion.
Keep up the good work!
Take care
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Couldn't add more.. great poem!! touched me deeply.. well done..
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great
As usual amigo great thoughts. thanks for sharing this with us.
"So again I stand with strength and pride
My quill, my pen, my sword against the tide"
This is all we have to fight with... our only weapon.
Great job, great rhyming.
Elie -
kinda different from ur usual style .. i guess..
very nice poem... like usual
u have a way in writing that just touches whoever is reading..
great mind.. great words
~rana~
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He4y Serge a good effort...and I am glad to see you on as Hana is having trouble today...Iagree with her in her comment...so I applaud you and wish you every happiness...with your "sista"
you American ally...Rich -
Beautifully written. A real treat to read. I wonder if the flow might be improved if this line was shortened a bit
My quill, my pen, my sword against the tide
Afterall pen and quill are pretty much the same
thanks,
John -
Wow!
an incredibly emotional poem full of so much sadness i just want to hug you. your courage to write such personal feelings is very admirable to me as i am not able to this.
your words are written with such care and heartache i feel overwhelmed by your profound grief. thank you for sharing this wonderful poem which hopefully many people who read will learn from.
bless you with grace
lynn -
great
Very Good.. i enjoyed this very musch there is so much feeling put into you work.. keep it up i hope to see more. -
Hey there, Its me
I say this is a wonderful tribute to your little sister . Its so good.
wonderfully done, loved the second stanza the most.
Great great job,
Cheers
-kal 24 -
'Breathe, breathe in the air ..
dont be afraid to care..
leave but dont leave me..
look around, choose ur own ground!'
I really like the fact that u cant see how many times I click on this poem
I think it will only write "endless views this week" !!
loffle this more than i can even say !
=*
Edited on Jul 20, 7:08 p.m. because ''. -
Hey there!
Now this is an amazing poem!
I love love love love it!
You are so talented...
This is so beautiful, to see your "sista" under this light.
She is a great gal!!! now isn't she?
She's really something!
The poem is written just beautifully,
The flow , the rhyme, the choice of words...nothing is redundant, creative, smooth and simple.
Great stuff!!
Keep up the great work.
Love.
~Hana~ -
thank you for your comment
OH and i fixed the typo thanks for pointing it out
take care MWAH -
This was a fantastic poem, you're so talented, I'm jealous! One thing though, in "Helped me defeat and old addiction" take the d out of and.
~Laila~ -
Serge..
I seriously just cant find the words!! should i say sumthin for the hell of it and make it worth?! or stay calm and let silence express my overwhelmed feelings ?!? ..coz no words I believe are good enough to comment on this poem!!
..Silence can speak so much louder than words sometimes..
Besides, Im glad ur here, makin it easier on me to get through these tough moments we're passin through..
ur sista =*
Edited on Jul 16, 7:47 p.m. because ''.
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