Dew is washing
your barefoot walk,
lonesome traces in the grass,
invisible path,
nameless direction.
Broken compass on the ground.
Sleepy mist in your gaze,
hidden tears,
silent sigh.
Pain in your chest,
blood turns to green.
Teeth pressed your lips,
stone in the throat.
Way back to home.
Abstract vision
Transparent mask is washing your face,
salty pain
in the angles of your eyes.
Bitted nails.
Cold morning coffee,
limpid dreams
in the glass of the water,
few dry crumbles on the plate.
Birds gone from your window.
Old papers on the table.
Twilight.
Silence.
No phone call.
No mail.
Sound of dropping water
in the sink.
End of the day.
Author notes
I do not know when this idea came from but this verses do not have nothing with my life. I just followed abstract vission coming out from the painting.
Picture courtesy: dianabluelove contest:
allpoetry.com/contest/2125475
Written July 15th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- first thing you see... by Dienush.
310 points, ended July 22, 2006, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Thank you Choirangel.
~Sonja~ -
this was a well done piece, sad though to think about, thanks for sharing this, and keep up the awesome poetry as always.......
-
My dear Janet
the best on this planet,
when I will be able
to put it on the table
I'll give you trophy from above
for you unique and pecious love.
~Sonja~ -
Darling Mummy
You won I lost
but it didn't cost
for your being happy
is gold for me.
Smoosh
Janet
Edited on Jul 22, 2:03 p.m. because ''. -
Maye it is not good to think too much about picture. Whenever I saw this kind of picture I am working on the first impression. Maybe a little bit of writting experiance could help too. I am glad you like it. Thank you for your time for deep review. Let's the best win.
~Sonja~ -
I stared at that picture for minutes with only a blank space in my head and here you are,absorbing the essence within the colours and putting all in such beautiful words!!!!!!! Truly inspired!!!
I think more poetic skills are needed to capture the message beyond a painting(like you did) than to write whatever comes to your mind! So,all I can do is bow and applaud this wonderful piece of art!
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Wonderfull Linda always on her duty.
Thank you. I am glad you like my verses.
~Sonja~ -
Thanks J. for your alwas so nice comment.
~Sonja~ -
written well for the picture is very plain..keep penning and good luck..MM
-
This is wonderful! AS always a perfect piece!
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Thank you Damselflydreams. Your comments worth a gold to me.
~Sonja~ -
I am always trying to thanks all my readers, but if I'll ever miss you, sorry. Knock at my door and screem.
Than you for each line of your comments.
~Sonja~ -
I am glad that you like all of my poetic trials. Thank you for your great support.
~Sonja~ -
I llike all parts of this very much, it flows from one to another but also reminds me of the way time slows down when we are d=sad or waiting/hoping for something that does not happen. Great descriptive images, bravo. Best of luck.
-
A very nice poem my dear Sonja.
Wish you the best luck in the contest.
Shahrzad
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Very good poem with many visions. You write well in many forms. This write is interesting in that you have written, seemingly, entirely to the picture. Your work shows us yet another dimension of your varied talents.
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Thanks Diana. Yes, its only looks like to be too many adjectives, but that was done by intention. You can see everything what surounding this person, vivid and descriptive but nobody can see him. He is just s vision between the lines, washed feets and bitten nails and pain. Thank you for this absolutely different contest challenge.
~Sonja~ -
Thank you writer for your nice and for me very precious comment.
~Sonja~ -
I liked the Abstract vision and the end of Twilight the most. This poem is successful in creating a tangible atmosphere that draws the reader in. I felt there were a little too many adjectives, but otherwise this is fairly good, very enjoyable. Thank you for entering.
~Diana -
WOW!!!!I really love this poem!!!It's so....beautiful and simple...I love it!!!I'm going to bookmark this...
love
writer -
Thank you Katie. It was like a light flesh and I had to put it on the paper. Maybe people ane not used to read this kind of poetry, but, that's me too.
~Sonja~ -
Excellent
You have gone about writing your entry in a brilliant way Sonja, the picture obviously caught your attention because of the colour and different tones in the picture, hence your writing about different times of the day, the colour, light and shade have bought your imagery into vision, excellent idea my dear friend
Well Done and best wishes for the contest.
~Katie~
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Oh my, my dear friend, I hope not realy. This is to sad to be real. I would like to bring back some smile to your face.
~Sonja~ -
A VERY BEAUTIFUL AND SENSITIVE POEM
Dear Sonja, this is so beautiful and in many ways does fit my mood and emotions at this time in my life.
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Ťhanks sexyenchantress4532 for your time to read and comment my poetry.
~Sonja~ -
Thank you -ButterflyCuts-
~Sonja~ -
very nice work! i think it was wonderfully inspired by the picture!
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I really like this. Brilliant freeverse prosey..












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