I Hate Poetry

I’m going to tell you a little something about myself...I HATE POETRY!
Poetry...with its carefully contrived consonance
and its arbitrary augmentation and addition of assonance and alliteration
and the rhyming!
this rhyming is really ridiculous
or maybe it is a contrary coincidence
I just cannot get into this
stanzas, haikus, sonnets, blank verse
every line has a
pattern that must be obeyed
all to my dismay
accents all in the right place
leads to naught but my disgrace
meter, beat, and the flowery language
my muse has been crushed by the dark cursed hand of the English language
writing should be free, flowing, full of feeling
not restricted by form, followed, yet always fleeting
more time spent on rhyme than on writing
what a useless war we writers are fighting
and worst of all are the works of young depressed people, who can’t find their niches
or as I like to call them...the Emo bitches
I don’t really care about the rainy miasma of your soul
or the deep black lake that is your life
the only thing about this poetry that makes me cry
is the thought of all the trees that had to die
to produce the paper you write upon
seriously kids, stop hating your dads and your moms
and society for rejecting you and your nonconformity
this is the worst thing about poetry
the idiots that abuse it so they can think they are deep
every night I lose sleep
to the pain caused by the thought of these tear stained pages
written by fools, rejected by sages
then I realize I must not be any better than them
for this whole poem
conforms to all the rules I
so hate and despise