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Skin








there was a scab
floating in the tub water

her skin is flawless
i thought to myself

there was hair
golden, from end to end
and her smell

a hand ducked in
paddled incessantly
until a wave clashed with my long face
eyes filled with salt

i then realized
that the scab and sweat
had been swallowed by the drainpipe
years ago











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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    July 12, 2008

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    I'm sorry for what happened... but this was really stunning and beautiful. Everything about it was so painful but hopeful in the sense that you'd see her again. Great write
    Jeanette*~


  • Candice Bezanson
    November 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow..This was kiind of profound...I liked it :0) I had to read it a couple of times..But i like it...Great write!


  • sweetcountry
    October 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i can honestly say i do not understand this at all
    but i love it and usually i do not feel that way
    about anything! it has set me into a different mood
    now

  • Kay Laon Anders
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Great write!

    Scab?.... lol....I don't know why but that made me laugh when I saw that word...lol...well great write anyways...lol

    KAY


  • truembrace
    August 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    well done. I found myself beyond interested once the word "scab" hit my eyes. That sort of kept me on my toes. The rest of your piece certainly carried me the rest of the way.

    It's very different. I like different


  • u took my user name
    July 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    never read anything like thsi one. pretty darn unique


  • Ava Noire silver member
    July 19, 2006
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    scab is a word not often used in poetry so well. I like this.


  • chaosfactor79171
    July 18, 2006
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    Wow, this is a very weird poem. It does make you think I give you that. But it was quite hard to understand unless you read it a few times. But this was a very cool poem and I liked it. Good work and keep them coming. -Juarez


  • Redstormy gold member
    July 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Im going to have to let this one spin around in my head for awhile.. fascinating metaphores my friend.

    Red


  • DogFish silver member
    July 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This made me feel uncomfortable immediatly..."Skin", something so wonderful and beautiful is still so fragile and vulnerable. Life around us can change in the twinkle of an eye simply by a passing thought or a new perception of things.


  • cvillelisa
    July 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply


    Gosh the opening two stanzas are so calm -- the scab just floating in the quiet tub water with flawless skin and golden hair

    then boom it is all splashy with the paddeling and then back to the sad quiet.

    I'm enjoying these.

    Lisa


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    July 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is really nice...

    al

1 - 12 of 12