~ For the memory of thirty years
You took me to a mansion
Bedding me in frills and lace
Under cherry inlays and onlays
Quarter sawn waves of love in mantels
Spiral turns in chandeliers and poster beds
Wicker wonders and
smooth oiled wood staircase
Best viewed from the floor
Fed me sweet things and sparkles
Beverage and balcony
Bed and Breakfast
And I carried you on wings
to the mountaintop
And saw the sweep of your love
in the river waters below
The curve of the small of your back
and across your derriere revealed
again in the valley road below,
And the wind blown pine
sharing our dizzy height
I see you reclining
In distant mountains
The swirls in broken stone
like the tresses of your youth
I see your face
In the duvet cover clouds
Reflected in blue eyes
The kiss of the breeze
Captivating pensive roadrunner
Falcons soaring succinctly below
Till the summer sunset closed
the window of my eyes
But not the portal of my soul
You make it easy to love you
Author notes
Option 5 Shape poetry
Esse is for 'Sensual'
Thank you, little one for 30 years, July 9, 2006
Bed and breakfast is the Capt. Henderson House.
www.hsu.edu/chhcontent.aspx?id=1186
Mountainview s curve road: Petit Jean's grave overlook
community.webshots.com/photo/550016890/2170292360055220818kzKfdU
S curve in mountains, middle row of hills
www.pbase.com/wtraub/image/16861464
S curve in river, and distant tree line between fields
www.scottstaples.com/petit_jean/petit_jean_0001.php
Written July 13th, 2006
A contest entry
- road trips by marrow.
300 points, ended February 4, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - personal favorite by Virgoan.
2000 points, ended June 9, 2008, 64 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - -♥-~*Beautiful*~-♥- by xwarriorXprincessx.
900 points, ended August 18, 2008, 54 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the beauty of a nude woman... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended August 22, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell Me About Your Marriage (contest) by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended March 29, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites & critiques by aeolia.
400 points, ended September 12, 87 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your life in poetry by catstar.
400 points, ended September 28, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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I am swept away in the curve of this emotion. So in love. A marvelous poem.
CM
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I love the shape of this poem, it is like a stream of words flowed from your quill.
Mariana
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This is a stunning read. Love the shape you've chosen to compliment the picture you paint. Nicely done! Thanks for entering my contest. Good luck. It's an honor to have you show your work here.
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Very nice - though I have read the same story in another of your poems, I think?
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another beauty...
nice -
Humm..this is what the life is dear friend..and your sketch represent it appropriately...well done...and thanks for sharing..
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this took my soul and ripped it.
beautiful. absolutely beautiful scenery. beautiful everything. beautiful imagery. beautiful. just beautiful.
wonderful write, dear.
thank you so much for this.
best wishes and best of luck. -
Excellent and the sensuality is right for the picking.
Keep sharing your gift.
HENSLEY
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SSSSplendid!
What a fun form you've created! This gives me a few ideas, but hey, isn't that what this community is supposed to accomplish? Truly a lovely testament to love. Well done! -
Wow! This is awesome write! its HOT HOT HOT~ I love the s shape it makes.... not like esse more like sensual! You did a fabulous job! deserving more than Honorable mention! it's gold in my book~ NICE job!
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Interesting shape construction, the piece was a little too abstract for me, but nevertheless very well written. Thanks for entering and best wishes to you.
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nicley written, it had great imagery, and was well worded, the shape added that little touch, it was a smooth read, it seemed romantic with a touch on sensuality, this was very well done good luck!!
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very nicely penned. you had great imagery, and a nice progression of details. i enjoyed this.
thank you for your entry, and best of luck to you.
j -
Teh soft slide through your poem, the quick glance at the pcitures, and I know a man who lets life touch him in ways only a lover of life, places, and a good partner to persuade such ponderings, can bring.
I love that life touches the very core of you...well done, an beautifully and sensually so.
Why do I have a sense I have read you before and there is something that is so familiar in sight and expression? -
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Read the first comment and you will understand.
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oh, sometimes I am so danged dense....
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This is a wonderfully descriptive poem that flows Softly, Sweetly and Sensually. Definitely an Esse Curve! I didn't have any options listed, so I can only presume that the author's comments were for a previous contest entered. Thank you for sharing this poem with me. It is beautiful.
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I love this
I especially love the format in which you wrote it and I love the emotions it invokes in me
you are extremely talented.
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Amazing write well written made me keep reading so it keep my interest.
WOW what sentiment and such powerful words used I love this write. It read like wonderful dream thank you for entering and good luck(Lisa)
"Reflected in blue eyes
The kiss of the breeze
Captivating pensive roadrunner
Falcons soaring succinctly below
Till the summer sunset closed
the window of my eyes
But not the portal of my soul
You make it easy to love you "
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Ah no, I missed the links until just now. But damn, that place is beautiful. You know, I really want to visit the US sometime; I've always imagined the countryside to be like it is here, only much, much bigger!
I know about B&B (you can't turn around in England without seeing one) - I just meant that it's pretty much a stock phrase whereas most of the rest of the piece is pretty unique to you. This is kind of the point; you're describing your own experience of the place, so just referring to the place as a B&B suddenly makes it seem like it could be any one of millions. Surely it was more than just that to you? I think the poem would be stronger if you could replace the stock phrase with something more personal to you. But, of course, don't let this detract from what is otherwise a lovely piece of poetic writing
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Did you look at the pics in the links? This is a record of an event; "Bed and Breakfast" is a term for lodging in a home where the owner is your host and cook. Far superior to hotels in ambiance, cuisine, conversation, freedom and romance. The view photos show the line in nature that is in the poem; called the "Hogarth line" in art.
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Nice structure, and some sweeping language to go with it. First line is a gripper, I wonder if you need 'Bed and Breakfast' though - a little ordinary in comparison with the rest, plus you used 'bedding' a short time before. Really like 'The swirls of broken stone/Like the tresses of your youth'. Good luck in the contest :-)
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Well done, my friend. It seems as though you have experienced a very powerful kind of love, and I hope that neither one of you ever takes it for granted. Best of luck, and thanks for entering!
Much Love,
Laura -
Thank you so much, Emerald fire, for my gold trophy. You are an excellent judge of fine poetry!
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Sigh. This was very beautiful and very sensual. Thanks for sharing and good luck
Emerald Fire -
Your use of imagery here has definately caputred the attention of my eyes, and I simply loved every moment I spent reading this write. Thank you so much for sharing beauty with the world.
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Beautifully done.
Looks like my comment got lost in the un-upgrade. *sighs*
I definitely enjoyed the curve that you created in this piece. It flowed nicely and added a lovely element to your piece. Even some of the images in your poem had a spiral theme to them as well. The imagery in this write is outstanding, my mind goes into overtime creating the images that you've so beautifully penned.
I'd have to say that these lines were my favorite.:
"Till the summer sunset closed
the window of my eyes
But not the portal of my soul"
The words are just beautiful. Great job.
Edited on Aug 27, 4:11 because ''. -
You write; first for yourself...
Then the one you love
And if you have the confidence to share
Your love will vibrate in other souls.
Thank you for your sweet smelling
Lilac Thoughts -
This is a breathtaking write and had me going back over and over again to read it...so romantic and oh so sensual...I can feel the 30 years of love you have for this lucky lady in your life....not many writes by men, express love like this through the curves of her body and compare with the natural curve of landscapes...I am in awe of this piece...
The 'S' shape echoes your words
~Lilac~
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Beautiful words. I like the curve of the poem itself, a very fitting touch. I love how these lines especially sound like the soft romaticism you describe:
"Quarter sawn waves of love in mantels
Spiral turns in chandeliers and poster beds
Wicker wonders and
smooth oiled wood staircase"
just gorgeous.
I like how you compare body parts to the curves of the road and scenery on your trip, and the clouds to the linens at the bed and breakfast: " In the duvet cover clouds" And the last line sums everything up beautifully.
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Ooooohhhh! Steamy!!!
I Love This One! Thank You! -
Oh yes, the form of this poem is also very nice. I think it is a great poem.
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This is very nice. Better than the last one which was very good. How are you going to get out of the free write addiction? You need a program to revive rhyme and rhythm. lol
Jim -
Wow! This piece spoke to me in a subtle and powerful way. It combines such gentle and vivid imagery & even manages to suggest scent and texture. It's a veritable feast for an active imagination. The story it tells is also one of sweet memory seen through the eyes of a man who obviously loves his wife unquestionably. Thanks for sharing this with us. Best wishes on the contest!
Hollow Wanderer
Edited on Jul 13, 11:02 p.m. because 'sp'. -
This is a wonderful display of artistry, sentiment & depth of heart. It isn't easy, cutting your chest open & exposing your Self to the world. Your words are well~defined memories, scented by the flowers of the imagery you use. You are a skilled writer, one deserving of praise & further reading. Please continue sharing your gift with the world; the world needs all the Poets it can hold. Well done, Poet. Wanda
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