Love me
Or hurt me
Hold me close
And shoot me dead
Love me
Kill me inside
Kiss me again
And pull the trigger
Envelope me in your arms
Or push me away
Touch my cheek
Or load the gun
Hand me the rose
Then hold it again sprinkled in my blood
Hold me one last time
Or just watch me fall
Save me
Or watch me die
Be my life
Or be my death
Love me
Or be Deaths blissful kiss
Hold me close
And shoot me dead
A contest entry
- Guess who's back? by ConcreteGirl87.
1000 points, ended October 17, 2006, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark or Sad! by fallen-leaf.
450 points, ended January 6, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - One day left-Uninspired by Menace.
650 points, ended July 29, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ...i think we have an emergency ♥ by XweXareXbrokenX.
600 points, ended August 4, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - & I want one final kiss [before your mouth is sewn shut] ♥ by najji.
495 points, ended August 2, 2007, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Write Appreciation Day 2007 by Kimojuno.
1000 points, ended September 14, 2007, 102 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - One by Nam.
425 points, ended October 6, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES ALLOWED!! Twisted,Strange, Break-Ups, New Love.. by Stripes.
300 points, ended October 26, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - strung out && b r o k e n more than an old cassette by PaintedParisPassion.
600 points, ended December 24, 2007, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
"Envelope me in your arms," - "Envelope" would be "Envelop".
"Deaths" at the end would be "Death's".
If you do not know how to use punctuation then I would suggest not using it at all. Every single line of this piece, as you have it (except the last line) would not have a comma at the end. Some would have a period, others would have no punctuation because they are enjambments to the next line, etc.,
Again, I reiterate: if you do not know your punctuation, do not use it at all.
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interesting right...nicely done...thanks for entering...good luck
XweXareXbrokenX -
Hmm..
Well written and I enjoyed this....
<33 I loved this!! ^,,^
Thanks for entering!!
[♥]
Monica -
I think this has the elements to bring a good thought to life. I just think it was too poppy and not enough detail.Good luck in the contest.
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Deep.
Wow. Deep. This is a really deep and a captivating read. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck! -
weird
-
wonderful
Hey, great write, I especially liked the following:
"Love me,
Kill me inside,
Kiss me again,
And pull the trigger"
I agree with Celticjedi, this is a poet's dream come true. You have a gift. Keep on writing!! Good luck in the contest
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Oh how cool is that? Fantastic job Ginny! I think this is the kind of poem lots of people dream of reading or writing, but all too rarely see. The descriptions are awesome! Keep it up, this is beauitful! Write me, okay?
Love you
Hannah -
SQUEEEEEE
hi this is good freak creepy i like it now dont u start writing darker than me (by the way like the verdict? lol g2s laterz
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
2 old applause
