candy
so sweet for us
melting in our mouth now
I love the delicious taste of
sugar
Author notes
I love candy!!!!!!!!! Especially gummies!
Written July 12th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Age 12 & Under Only ~ Form Poetry ~ Cinquain by Amunet Wolfbane.
300 points, ended July 28, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Mmmmmmm... this makes me want to go and eat some candy right now. But since it's still morning, maybe I'll wait a few hours.
Awesome job! 
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Oh my! who doesn't love candy?
Candy is the best. Great write! good luck in the contest!
MissCassie -
I think I want something sweet now Great job on this. Bravo!
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good for you kitty! you edited your cinquain and see the difference?.... made me want some candy!..yum!... ...shzoosy
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Well, it's a big plus that you have the syllable count right for this
yay
I've noticed you used the words sweet two times - that's not really a problem for the cinquain form, but since you only get 22 syllables (a few words) it's better to avoid double use of words to have a description as detailed as possible
Maybe you could change your last line into sugar it would still fit perfectly with what you've written here and you avoided the double use of sweet
overall, a very well done piece!
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very nice poem great work good luck
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very nicely written good luck
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