Intense delight, joy, ambition and merriment,
Yeah, that’s what I was surrounded by,
But, alas! Suddenly my life became despondent,
And for triumph, I could no more try.
My heart used to ache, and so did my mind,
‘Why couldn’t you put in a bit more effort?’
To myself, yeah, just to myself, I was confined,
And the thought of my failure- it simply hurt!
Days went by, and I took a crucial decision,
To just try and no more worry about the result,
That was to keep up to my parents’ expectation,
And then, to me, working hard became a cult.
Fruits of my efforts can now be easily seen,
When I have regained my glory, my position.
Presently my life is just like it had been-
Fun-filled, happy, joyous, and full of ambition.
Author notes
A poem for allmost all teens...
The life of a successful person, who, for few months, failed incessantly and thereafter, suddenly, became as successful as ever.
Written July 11th, 2006
A contest entry
- Looking for ap family... by Poetic-Goddess.
450 points, ended April 27, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Uplifting Poetry by Tablet Of Essence.
355 points, ended May 22, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - biggest contest in allpoetry history! (i hope) need 1,000 entries!! by Gasp.
1300 points, ended July 11, 2007, 638 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - O.o Anything Goes o.O by vampireblood.
430 points, ended May 26, 2007, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling All Rhyming Story Tellers! by Sgt B.
525 points, ended May 28, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Teenage by Lj-.
300 points, ended May 30, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything At All by Heavenly Angel.
26000 points, ended June 9, 2007, 100 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Battle of the Bronze by th3sl4y3r.
580 points, ended June 14, 2007, 107 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tons Of Options! by Erin200.
434 points, ended June 16, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
May I know your honest views?
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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this is very encouraging.thanks for the entry
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I do like this one; it's encouraging..
Reminds me of my own teenagers
Thank you for sharing! -
I liked the flow.
Thank you for your entry,
Best of luck!
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Wow Incrediable~ I love the write of this one~ NICE JOB!
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most lifes have faliure and succes and your use of title was great you also expressed it well in this poem and so many can relate thank you for entering and good luck
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this ppoem truly is as the title says, and it was a great poem, wonderful entry, and thanks for entering .
~Dark -
a pleasure to journey with you today.I thank you for the read.
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A beautiful poem indeed
Thanks for entering!!
And good luck!!
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a beautiful poem, thanks!
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Good job! I like this a lot; I would just suggest that you polish it up a bit (for some reason the rhythymn and grammar seem a little off to me). Nice poem! Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck!
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Sweet write! -
Good very positive thinking my dear.It inspires alot specially for teens as you define.I like your optimism.And strong ambition toward study goals.
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Success only comes from some kind of failure. Only when lessons learned are sucessful thoughts able to take over.
You have put alot of hope and optimism in this poem, something we all should strive for no matter how successful we are. Enjoying life seems a lot harder than hating it, unfortunate but true. It's all in attitude..
I'm utterly impressed with your write, it's damn good.
Jeffro
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wonderful work..
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This is very inspiring, I however detest most rhyme especially when it seems forced, overdone, or cliche. I think this would be even more lovely and inspirational if it were free-versed, but I am obviously biased.
I wish you all the best, and good luck in the contest!
-shirley- -
Very positive read, I like this line: "working hard became a cult", nice metaphor. Thank you for the entry. -N
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The poem is pretty good but needs some work on the rhyming.Other than that the thought in this was good and it had a nice flow.Thanks for entering and best of luck
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Nice One!
wonderfully penned poem all round and very well thought out and written. good work and best of luck to you in the contest. Sincerely, Judge Whitetiger1251
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Very good job. A very unique idea for a poem, and i like it. Overall this was a great piece. Good luck
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Good for you, and Good write. I like how it has a style as if you were talking to me.
judge-Bryan K Johnson -
The roller coaster of success can only be found and appreciated by passing through the downward spiral of failure; for failure and success go hand in hand.
Otherwise, you'd be on the roller coaster as it tumbles downward, and the tracks would end halfway down, and guess what....you'd go zooming horizontally like a rocket, until gravity has it's say, and then it's "Hi concrete, how's it going?" lmao...
Anyway, all kidding aside, I liked the way you constructed your poem, and how the story was told, and how you decided to let go of the worry and just work hard and let the chips fall where they may. Thanks for entering your poem, and good luck in the contest
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Hi Madhumita,
Great subject to write about and inspirational to those in that same position of feeling like nothing can go there way or just feeling defeated!
Wonderfully written!
Thank you for entering our contest!
Jasminerose
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Wonderful story told here!
I liked your language usd and the flow of this!
These lines stood out to me:
"Intense delight, joy, ambition and merriment,
Yeah, that’s what I was surrounded by,
But, alas! Suddenly my life became despondent,
And for triumph, I could no more try.
My heart used to ache, and so did my mind,
‘Why couldn’t you put in a bit more effort?’
To myself, yeah, just to myself, I was confined,
And the thought of my failure- it simply hurt!"
Great choice for the competition !
Lynda
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I really liked this poem, it has a nice rhythm and has great story to it. Great job! good luck in the contest!
~Michaela~ -
This is a very nice poem, very up beat with a positive message and happy attitude. The only thing I see that sort of doesn't make sense is "working hard became a cult" I really don't think that fits there, if I'm wrong please explain.
Peace
Twinstar -
thank you for taking the time to enter my contest. you have writen a great little Trilogy. the story that you tell is one that is stright to the heart of most of us in one way or another. good job for given me just what i wanted to see, thank you.
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This poem is truly straight from my heart.
I am going to appear for board exams this year, which holds a lot of importance here, in India. When I could not score up to my potential, I was really dejected. But now I am successfull again. This poem really helped me a lot, and hopefully it will help your friend too... -
This is brilliant!!!
I'll show this to my boyfriend because he'll going to do his GCSE's in about 4 months, and he's being extreamly pessimistic.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck.
Sapphire -
Well, the piece is really true. I did not put up even a bit of effort to rhyme, it happened automatically. This poem is a true story, I can definitely say so as the poems that I write as a result of imagination aren't nice. Real life experiences are put in far more well.
Thanks,
Madhumita
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This is a good poem! You're right, the rhyming is good. I can be honest, 60% of the time I HATE rhyming because it's always so forced, or so simple like "you, too" or "me" "be", and if everyones using it, it isn't original anymore! This is a good portrayal of rhyme. Thank you for sharing this with us! If it's about you truly, I am glad you found your path to success! Never give up! Thank you so much for entering, and good luck in my contest!
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wonderful subject and very nice rhyming, i liked this. especially teh last stanza. thanks for entering!
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very inspiring, well structured powerful poem
I like its message so loud and clear -as given by it's flow- and the optimism oozing from it. -
My heart used to ache, and so did my mind,
‘Why couldn’t you put in a bit more effort?’
To myself, yeah, just to myself, I was confined,
And the thought of my failure- it simply hurt!
Oh my ...this stanza really hit home
this is a great example of heart poetry, it is obvious this comes directly from your heart and that gives it a power that can't be matched. very good write! -
Thank you very much. Appreciation is always inspiring.
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This was inspired and inspiring. Beautiful flow and beautiful story. You have succeeded at showing your talent. Brava.
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This is a very nice story of how a positive attitude and a desire to be the best we can be makes a difference. I can see the confidence you have in yourself within these words, and believe that will carry you far in life. I enjoyed reading this and wish you good luck in the contest. Thank you for entering such a lovely and hopeful poem.
~J. -
Great poem. I really enjoyed reading all about you. You put it so beautifully. You really know who you are. Keep up the great work and you will go far in life. Thank you for sharing this write with me. Good luck in my contest. Take care. ttyl Tali
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Hey madhumita, this is a pretty good poem. A small minute checks hereand there. Your 2nd line, 2nd stanza could be, couldn't and there should bea 'the' before the last word, in the 2nd line of ur 3rd stanza.
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Excellent
This was a pleasant revelation to me that even though one becomes disilusioned with success and failure throughout life, the draw to succeed is always with us driving us onwards. Bravo! and Bon Chance
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Truly Awesome
Hi Madhumita, what a wonderful poem. Lovely choice of words, the word flow is great. The topic you have written about is really relatable and wonderful. Optimism flows through out your poem, if someone doesnt feel it, the last lines would surely make them realize. I am really happy that you are at the stage you are, enjoy life, enjoy studies. People get dejected with failure, but only those people are real people who find inspiration in failure, your effort is admirable, there is no weakness in this poem, its a truly heartfelt, relatable, inspirational and true work of art, keep writing such wonderful and positive poems, all the best with your studies and life. The great lesson from this poem Rome was not built in a day, so hope you'd keep that in mind all the time, take care.
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