This moment is like no other,
it seems so far away.
But at the same time, so close-
I'll never forget this day.
[I want you to know that I love you,
and will always feel the same.
So if you hear someone calling,
its just me saying your name.]
The air is warm and humid
and I can feel your body heat.
The way you hold me against you
lets me know that you too, need me.
The gentle embrace of your arms
enfolding me with love;
creates more of a beautiful feeling
than anyone could dream of.
Your hands, so soft on my skin
create goosebumps down my spine.
My heart is racing, oh-so-fast
as you place your hand in mine.
You gently meet my lips with yours
such a sweet thing - love's kiss.
And I get so lost in you,
I've never felt such a bliss.
Every movement that you make
truly wonders and amazes me.
How can someone be only human,
and do everything so perfectly?
Our eyes meet creating a pause
and its as if we're lost in time.
We know that we're both ready
to make our love defined.
Each movement we make creates more love
inside me than I can show.
And the way you keep on holding me tight,
tells me that you'll never truly let go.
And once this special moment has ended,
and we fall asleep in eachothers' arms;
I know I'll be safe with you
and you'll keep from from any harm.
I can't tell you how much you mean to me
or what I'd do without you here.
But I do know what you do to me;
you make everything in this life seem clear.
[So I want you to know that I love you
and always will feel the same.
And no matter what happens between us,
I'll never stop calling your name.]
Author notes
sorry about the last minute changes.. i didnt like it before.. what do you think??
Written July 12th, 2006
A contest entry
- Whatever you feel like. XD by DavaJean.
1000 points, ended July 12, 2006, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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wow this is great i really like it
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so yeah thanx for your advice.. i took it
lol thanx alot and thanx for you time
<3casey -
wow beautiful poem and great rhyming most of this i think of my bf but amazing u deserve to win great job keep it up
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AWWWWWWWWWWWW That is so sweet! I know I have known this feeling, to some extent. very nice wording, and I like the rhyme scheme. Maybe it's a bit long.
Perhaps you could consider repeating the second stanza only at the end. I think this would achieve a better effect. It wouldn't seem so much like a chorus, because then the ending is expected, so it seems almost cheesy; whereas repeating it only at the end would be more of coming back to that thought, and end more sweetly, if that makes sense.
Otherwise, fantastic words, awesome rhyming. A nice love song that isn't extremely trite. Original love poems are hard to come by. Keep writing!
Regards,
Tina -
Great
This is really beautiful and helps one to relate feelings they have most likely once had. Very nice.
-Brey -
sometimes repetitive words are amazing.
(not too much)
a beautiful work
well expressed
good luck -
Very good expression of love you have written.No way they can say that they didn't know how you feel.very soft and sensual.
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1 - 7 of 7
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