Waves of life wash upon my feet,
The oceans tears of sorrow
Spray onto my face.
The unknown surround me,
The shadows of mystery live
Within the shores of life. As
Sapphire screams poor out from the waters depth.
Waves of fiery-anger tare through
Anything in its path.
Creatures of mystery live in its shadows.
My eyes close as I take in
Each and every sound of the
Untamed ocean.
Author notes
Written July 9th, 2006
A contest entry
- immeasurable. by girl shaman.
1150 points, ended February 24, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
hm well first there was alot of cliche lines i've read so many other times such as "tears of sorrow" & "the shadows of mystery"
i mean its a tough thing to make a topic so often used not to be cliche so dont get me wrong im sure you've made effort.
but i suggest you look into more vocabulary to specify what it is you are trying to express and also the imagery seems a bit dark for ocean life.
thank you for entering
-
Liked this one very much, good flow.
-
very good the ocean is so beautiful u described it in good detail
-
Beautifully penned and very much enjoyed
-
Just because I'm your..best, best, best, best..and well, so on friend..doesn't mean I can just say that it's awesome. You know that I'm truthful..which is why I say..This was AWESOME! I'm very proud of you, Crystal.
Another great poem.
-
Yet another wonderful poem, dear. I'm so proud
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
