Would eyes be wise to look beyond that door?
Where restless things disturb the quiet night,
Don't open it, although she might implore,
I begged him, sir that urge you now must fight.
That door was sealed so very long ago,
No proof of witchcraft yet they walled her in;
They say the stones and mortar were aglow
As if the devil's fire there burned within.
The years then passed and nudging brambles grew,
such wilderness of thistles and wild sage.
He bought that house, I think he was a Jew,
A learned man, a hermit of some age.
Perhaps he'll find that door and look within;
It's here another story could begin.
Would eyes be wise to look within this book?
Strange creeping things move in the dust it wears,
But something says, don't open it ,don't look,
So then I mumble long forgotten prayers.
This book was closed so many years ago,
'Twas on that day they walled the young wench in,
I read, where stones and mortar seemed to glow
As if the devil's fire there burned within.
I bought this house where nudging brambles grow,
A wilderness of thistles and wild sage.
The book withholds a secret I would know,
So fearfully I turn the second page.
This book is like a door: I'll look within-
Will courage, or old superstitions win?
Would I be wise to look him in the face?
This cardinal sent by the church of Rome.
My innocence, how could I state my case?
They found the herbs I grew in woodland loam.
These were my thoughts so many years ago,
That day they closed the door and walled me in,
I heard them say the stones were all aglow,
Perhaps a sign that spoke their grievous sin.
The years have passed and nudging brambles grow,
A wilderness of thistles and wild sage,
The Jew who bought this house is wise, I know,
And he can free me if he turns the page.
For in that book solution can be found,
And I can rest in peaceful hallowed ground.
Author notes
Classical Shakespearean sonnet form but as a triptych in which repeats and echoes must be in the same place in each sonnet
A contest entry
- Omnium Gatherum - Appendix to Accumulator by Vera Rich.
300 points, ended November 25, 2006, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poet Laureate of all AP for the year 2007 Contest # 87 at The Winkler by Andantino.
875 points, ended January 12, 2007, 65 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP Best of the Best Season Three Preliminary by B Chandler.
300 points, ended March 15, 2007, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - One hundred and eiiiiighty!!! by Floorboards.
900 points, ended May 29, 2007, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THIRD TIME LUCKY # 2 by maa.
521 points, ended August 27, 2007, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Form Poetry by BellaD.
450 points, ended January 27, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ghosts by Frodofan.
475 points, ended February 29, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Friends of Andy Stephenson by Andy Stephenson.
525 points, ended March 13, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme and Flow part 8 Memories - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended August 23, 2008, 43 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Discipline, Design, Daring (5) by JM Kenyon.
900 points, ended August 30, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Three Years at AllPoetry by Sharcu.
600 points, ended September 26, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme Prewrite contest :) by Ami.
550 points, ended July 7, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Witches by Voodoo Eyes.
900 points, ended July 3, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I was checking out the list of the most applauded poems of all time on the site and came across this gem. The sonnets read and flow wonderfully and the story told from three different perspectives is wonderful.
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very nicely done
I love this, very nicely done your trophies are well deserved. A wonderful sonnet and a great story. Thanks for entering and good luck!!
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Wow this is amazing.
I've never tried writting a sonnet..I dont fully understand how they work, but this was beautifully written. -
Wow this is amazing.
I've never tried writting a sonnet..I dont fully understand how they work, but this was beautifully written. -
This wonderful and I'm so glad you used a sonnet form. It really adds a lot to the piece. Thanks for entering.
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Wow this is really good, it really deserved all those trophies Great write and thank you for entering
Good luck!
-♥Amy♥
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Temptation and rejection. I liked this piece. It was well worded, and it's rhyme was well done. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
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Truly amazing
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HOLY COW!!! This is unbelievably fabulous. That's all I can say about it. Thanks for entering my contest. Good luck. I'm honored to have you show your work here.
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This is so well crafted ... everything seems perfect. I like the author notes. That is always informative. Do you really need any more gold
(just joking. I want my page to be filled.
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WOW! Very impressed and a bit envious LOL.
Such an awesome rhyme that flows nicely, even though it's long and my attention span is not this was an entertaining read.
Thanks for the read and again...wow.
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I enjoy how you separated the different view points of the story. You did a great job with this.
Please keep writing,
Jeff. -
I could almost predict everyone who would enter, and I knew you would be one of them.
Very awesome poema nd I see why it was so popular. 231 comments?! 
Very nice job! I know you must be proud of your work and I can see why. You have a true gift. Thanks for sharing 
--Tim
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Wow look at all those trophies. Haha, well i thoroughly enjoyed this piece totally appealing to the Shakespearean form as well as a very in depth tale with lots of detail and rich imagery. I like the repetitive line of the thistles and sage as well. I can tell a lot of hard work was put into this piece. Thank you so much for your entry and good luck.
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this still impresses me.
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How happy I am for you to have won all the gold and silver cups!!! The imagery in this is awesome. Thanks for sharing with me.
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oh my!!! Congratulations on such a stunning piece of work. I do wish I could write like that! This is a first for me in form of a Shakespearean Sonnet and a triptych, and I am in awe. Well deserved Gold and then some.
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Congratulations to you on the trophy it is so well deserved and Jeff has said it all.
Sue
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Now in this version of Sue's and my contests I can do justice to this poem. It is a tour de force of classical poetry, not one perfect Shakesperian but three woven into a tryptch of great depth and beauty. The collection of siilverware is justified. This is beautiful classical poetry.
Sue and I are both delighted you graced our contest with it.
We hpe you will enter the remaining rounds too. -
Hello.
I have to say this is exceedingly well written, and I applaud you on that. The repitition fits in great for although same lines, they are seen from a different angle, and as we are presented with 3 angles we are getting a clearer picture than from just one (obviously, hahaa).
Also the repetition shows that the same thing seen from different angles is attributed to someone else, and not themsleves, as if to exhonerate themselves. A fantastic write; congratulations on the tropies gained. I wish you well in the contests.
My regards.
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Well well, if it's not the winner of one of my past contests (this is not a problem mind you. I have no problem with awarding someone more than once if they earn it). Nice to see this well written piece again.
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Thank you for your entry into my contest. See you got a bit of shinny for it huh?
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Goodness, this poem has a trophy case all by itself! Great work Di, I was in the original competition with this one and you knocked mine hollow. Best of luck!
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That's some amount of applause you have there and so deserving too I've commented this piece before, so I won't repeat what I've already said
Thanks for entering.
Laura x
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Thank You For Having To Enter This
I have to admit, although having read this a couple of times especially after once seen the trophies awarded... I can only be humble enough to say that I am definately not fully qualified to rate this. -
No wonder this piece has so many trophies in its wake Very well written and congrats on the Silver
Ruth
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Very Good
You always do these well. I like the story that this poem tells. I really enjoy story poems. I tried a sonnet once, but not something that turned out well. Thanks for entering my contest.
Andy
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I was wondering how you could have written something so good so fast as I just extended the contest a minute or so ago, but now must have opened the prewrite option. However, since I only disallowed prewrites to avoid a slew of worthless entries, I can't kick you out.
This was beautiful. I loved the meter, rhyme, and concept. I really liked how you changed to the witch's prespective in the last section. Well done and thanks for entering!
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Thanks very much for the entry. Its a great piee of solid rhyme and rather sad story. i like the alternate perspectives and echoing rhyme scheme, they really help to tell the story in a thorough and entertaining way.
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My, you have won a lot of trophies with this jewel. It is a well-written verse with a tinge of Edgar Allen Poe.
Congrats on this win.
Wolfie -
Wow!
Very well-written poem. I liked the "echoing lines" and the changing perspective of the three sonnet forms. Thank you for this most impressive entry. -
What a lovely little story we have here! The flow was right on and the rhyme wasn't forced at all! Nice! Thank you for entering my contest!
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thank you for entering and good luck!
leslie -
:)
This is such an excellent poem
I can see why it has so many trophes
Great job
Thanks for entering my contest
Jaz <3 -
I don't think I've ever seen a poem with this many applause. It's extreme!
The poem is amazing. I felt like reading an old ancient mouth to mouth story. It just seemed old and epic. There's no other words for it! -
Wonderful
Lovely.... I have never been too fond of sonnets, but I was mesmerized by this one. Very lyrical and haunting. Bravo.
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Wonderful poem and I enjoyed this very much, congrats on your bronze
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Aw man, this poem is awesome! I can't believe how well it flows! It's like, something you would expect to read in a really good book with really good poems, you know? I love the story, and the poem... it's perfect - a definite masterpiece! Awesome job!
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I like this, the only thing that really snagged with me is the "in" "within" and then repetition of "within", then onto "begin" in the first stanza.
The narrative is strong and the form is outstanding...so this piece stays. Thanks for entering and good luck! La x
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Because I got so many entries, I am going to judge this a little different than I normally do. On the contest page the challenge was to write a rhyming poem that shows instead of tells, with imagery and metaphor galore. In addition to those things, I am going to take the meter and rhythm into account along with originality. So I am going to award points for each of those things and then sort of tally them at the end to decide on the winners.
First of all, I have to say that I respect the amount of talent it takes to write a sonnet, Shakespearian or otherwise. I have never written one successfully. I always manage to get off in the meter or the rhyme, let along manage the echoes.
Show vs. Tell: 30/100
The poem tells more than it shows. There is nothing wrong with that in this case, because it is a story poem, but I am trying to be fair by judge all poems on the same criteria.
Concrete Images: 90/100
You have so many images masterfully woven through.
Metaphor/Simile/Allusion: 75/100
There may be more metaphors and allusions in this than I recognized, but I saw symbolism in the thistles and wild sage, in the door, and the book.
Originality: 100/100
Meter: 100/100
If there were any mistakes in the meter, they did not appear to my ear.
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I thought this was great and precise. Very metric and flows flawlessly. But I am afraid I do not understand how this connects with the contest. I didn’t notice you break the structure or do anything very unique. You do not use clichés or overdevelop. Perhaps you may elaborate and I will then give my feedback. You poem seems to follow tradition as I was trying to make a contest to show poets how to break from it. Perhaps I missed some element that I just didn’t catch. Please get back to me so I can see if this poem fits. Thank You!
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Hi, many thanks for your comment, well it's a triptych and they are difficult to do , specially in iambic pentameter, all echoes must be in same place, you might find it fun to try, I nearlly went grey,lol, but I can remove it and enter something completely different,Di
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Amazing...
Such a story! Lovely writing!
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Marvelous!
At first I was taken by the first set - not knowing about the other two - then after their discovery am so impressed - I knew you would be an excellent read!
Tang
Excellent pedigree on this poem too - very impressive!
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This poem speaks in many voices I can hear them quite clear, I love the fact that it repeats not only in someone else's voice (perhaps the seller of the house / previous owner?) but also the person who bought the house and also the person stuck within (The "Witch"). Unfortunately many people were stuck with that title for knowing simple things, how to swim potions etc etc, and basically very few (if any) were witches. I understand his/her need to be buried in the ground instead of being thrown behind a wall like some line of piping.
Great write; keep it up,
Kimojuno (Jeff). -
a masterpiece of perfection in form and content ...
and a subject that touches my soul profoundly ...
thank you so much for your entry,
maa -
Heyyy,
I like it! Very odd but beautiful in its strangeness. I think it especially effective how you have put across the veiwpoints of all three characters and I love the unexpected twist regarding Jew and book in the ending. Glad it didn't degenenerate into the usual vengeful witchcraft putting an end to things. (Not that I have anything against witches; its just samey when 95% percent of poems that deal with witchcraft end that way).
I love this entry into the prewrites contest. Good luck! Why not comment my own entry at http://allpoetry.com/poem/3340802
All the best of luck!
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A brilliantly penned write. You're talent evident by the amount of trophies won for this piece. Thank you for sharing and entering the contest.
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walled up talent revealed
what a BRILLIANT outstanding rhyme from the mesmerising quill of a truly great poet!
superb complex rhyming and masterful structure.
the 3 different perpectives/views unveil this tale in such a clever and compelling layered way.
great supernatural atmosphere and imagery [just the way i like it].
what a wonderful talented rhyming poet you are! what a find, for my delight.
i see there is lots more of your work to read, and i can't wait to enjoy them.
many thanks. best wishes
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Impressive sonneteering here, for which I imagine the form was key in reaping these rewards, fear in all accounts, and strangely the 3 reminds me of devil worship, strangely, why I do not know but it creeps with suspicion that a posession is indicated. That may just be me, heeeeeeeeeee! Titus
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This was absolutely brilliant.
I really enjoyed this one. My personal favorite so far.
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This is a great poem as your trophies show
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.........i think your trophies have proven how good it is....nuff sed....
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How utterly creative this is! I can see why it has taken so many trophies! This is masterfully written and you have weaved quite the tale! Wow! THanks for sharing your incredible talent!
Frogs~
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wonderful poem!
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Outstanding
I like the flow of this poem and the way you tell the story creating characters and a sense of the superstitions of the past. My favourite lines are
The years have passed and nudging brambles grow,
A wilderness of thistles and wild sage,
I liked how these are repeated in some of the stanzas and the poetry is very vivid and lyrical. A timeless allpoetry classic.
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I know I've read this before but can't remember if I commented so here goes... You seriously deserve ALL of the trophies that you won for this poem which is complete in itself as a work of art. I love you repetition and the imagery you brought forward in this poem. You truly have a talent in rhyming and the story which develops in this poem is done so well. Great write.
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Thought I'd commented on this fabulous piece in the past. But don't seem to find my comment. Sorry,because it is fantastic.I do recall promoting it though.Meter is dead on and the story line masterful.
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WOW!!
Excellent Piece...I always love sonnets--Excellent job done here
Thanks for entering my contest & best of luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
Exceptional
Really a magnificent Sonnet Trytypch, the first I have read as a matter of fact. It's not hard to see why you have won so many trophys with this brilliant piece of poetry. Best of luck in the contest.
D.D.M.
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This poem is really well-written and tells a beautifully haunting story. I need you to put your option number in your author's notes though. Let me know when you do.
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Whoa sister!!! A most excellent piece, i so love the echoes. Jan xx
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this is excellent, supremely written. thank you very much for entering my contest and good luck to you,
floorboards.
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This is exceptional! I can see why all the trophies. I was enchanted by your musing. You are indeed a sonneteer! I wish you the best in this challenge my friend.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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Thank you for taking the time to enter. We appreciate your talents. Best of luck to you
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This is amazing! The story it tells is haunting and the style it is written in is beautiful. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful write and good luck in the contest!
Elisa, CB & YOKEGG -
This one took my breath away - is there any more? Well done is hardly enough.
Cheers
Anne
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This leaves me in awe...wow. Both the form and the story itself are beautifully, hauntingly, written. I can easily see why this has won so many trophies, and I would not be a bit surprised if there is soon another to add to the collection.
Good luck and best wishes,
~J.
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A haunting story, written well, presented beautifully and makes me want to read more of this eerie tale.
Excellent storytelling and verbiage. I can see why it's already won several trophies
Good luck in the contest
Dee
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This really is an extraordinary triptych, deserving all its awards. When I tried this form, the echoes and repeats nearly drove me mad, but you make it look easy, that is art. Well done Di, it is a masterpiece.
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wow! it is easy to see why it has so many trophys and why it is your favourite! lets see if you can add another trophy to your collection. it is a well worthy piece.
til
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this is form peotry at its best...how eaily it reads but I am sure it took a great deal of work to perfect it so. Bravo!
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Dear Di, Your poem is absolutely magnificent and you have chosen well to enter it in our group contest.
It's a very compelling story that had me wanting to read more.
Love Joan
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Dear Diana,
When I first read this triptych sonnet (almost a year ago), with awe and admiration, I remember my regret that, being entered in one and then another contest, I could not invite its inclusion in my Wyleian collection where it would have been a powerful addition.
The format, the compelling narrative style, the subject and its developement I still find just as enthralling as I did on my first acquaintance with this poem which I think is a splendid choice for you to have made, from your many superlative writings, for this contest.
With best wishes for success in the voting, applause, love and hugs, XXX Hugh R.
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Dear Di,
I can certainly see why you entered this beautiful poem into our group contest. Three trophies That's wonderful, And it was a delight to read.
Hine
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exceptionally written english sonnets and the line used as a repeat is absolutely perfect, my favorite in fact, and so thrilling to see it more than once within the three sonnets. Excellent work. s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
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Sweet... There was a fun story and imagery in this... I liked it... I didn't understand some stuff, but I liked it. Good job and good luck in my contest.
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mystery thriller tale
And a triple sonnet, lovely mystique, full of magic and
satire, ; lyrical piper brings one to want to read on;
I truly reveled in this journey magic; had sadness and
hope , mingled with sorcery ..I bow to the sonneteer.
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Fantastic piece! It's easy to see why you've received trophies for your mantle with the excellent write. Your imagery is spectacular. You tell this poetic story with great flow. Wonderful work! Thanks for your entry!
~Lori -
Congrats on teh trophy so well deserved for this piece, you did this style so perfectly and you paint such a vivid iamge with your words which also flow together nicely. Great work.
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I have never tried this form but you seem to have written in it with ease poet,. Your trophies are well deserved. The language seems like that of the ancients. Brilliant work poet. Thank you for this entry in my contest. You should be proud. I wish you the best.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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well... 2 golds for this! That's amazing, and congrats! I noticed the sonnet form right away, and for now, I can't think of anything you could change (not that you would... I wouldn't if it already got me 2 golds...) So I will leave it at that!
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So, I'm sparring with the current poet laureate.
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Outstanding!
This is absolutely one of the most brilliant pieces I have read to date! I have no words worthy enough to praise it! It is a very visual experience.
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well deserved praise
Amazing. I admire anyone who can work the sonnet form so effortlessly. The repeating lines echo perfectly, lyrical and full of suspense. well done.
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I can see why this won
as always you take your creativity to new levels
wonderful job, and I am so glad it is featured so I got the chance to read it.
Warm thoughts
Frozentearz -
brilliant it is reallly gooood, i loved it !!! one of the best stuff i've read in a while. gooood,
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wow.... gave me chills too
very well done, i very muchly enjoyed it
love coop
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This write gave me chills! I so loved it every single part of it. You are a most talented writer and I feel privelaged to have had the chance to savor your words!
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These are amazing!!!!!!!! Here I take two weeks to write a sonnet, and you have three flawless ones that seem to flow from your pen so easily.
I have become obsessed with the sonnet. I must confess that I'm looking into a 12-step program. I think about them all the time, and I become aggravated when the rhythm doesn't work out. That's the difficult part for me.
I just love these sonnets, and I am going to bookmark them. They will be tremendously helpful to me when I write. Hugs, Patricia
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This gives me goosebumps...like the witch hunts of Salem. You penned the story expertly and also suggest history repeats itself in the firey glow of the holacost and prejudice, the things where humanity should turn a page ... and find solution. The gold was well deserved. Awesomely done!
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Hey this is a really cool great poem i like it alot alot alot!
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lovelylibra
I loved this poem. -
a brilliantly created poem and wonderfully written, there is not a flaw that i can see, wonderfully sonorous and deliciously engaging. congratulations on you win, so deserving of the gold trophy and a by unanimous jury as well. Very well done. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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This is a strange poem, but with some extraordinary power and real fascination. I hope it will get wider professional publication. I think there should be a comma after "superstitions", by the way. I must say it was a real and delightful surprise to encounter a new poem so good, both it terms of its technique and fine use of languageand its complex, thought-provoking resonances. It is like an ultra-compressed novel. Very heartiest congratulations on a major piece of work!
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Well, that looks pretty amazing...back to back gold trophies one page. The triple sonnet is great too. But I have always known you have a great talent in this area, as well as others in poetry. Thank you for sharing.
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A triptych
Oh boy, am I glad you sent me the link.
This was a detailed and a flawless ink of Iambic.
You know that I get my muse from writes like this, and you dear friend is always inspiring me with such magnificence.
I was working on a double sonnet, but this had me thinking creatively and thoroughly about my new production.
From the very beginning, I get the feeling of a dreadful past, a turn of events that never was to be uncovered.
You played wisely upon that basis, as you marched on with the pen. (The door behind the night, the book behind the door, the face behind the book).
This might be all an inscription of a well-known personnel, unfortunately I don't know of anyone with the same matching haraters that you have implanted within this piece of art.
I always had a thing for epics, and ancient poems, especially when done in forms like sonnets and triptychs.
This was a pleasure, and an honor to read and view.
Peace,
(might as well ask you to be on the look of every form poem I submit, for you have a strong sense and experience of forms and words).
Be well,
RD.
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Exquisite
This triptyche is a beautiful for when done right, and you have successfully done so. I like the way you have interwoven the different charachters viewpoints while useing the same lines. Marvelous!. It has a mysterious, spooky ambiance ~ quite effective! I see you have won the gold twice with this one. Kudos to you!
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