~ ~
When I live again,
I'll plant my syllabaries
on a hill and let them sweep
heaven for another 2000 years;
be a thorn
in the foot of Hephaestus
or Artemis or Zeus,
any one of those hedonists
who prop
their feet on the sun;
shade the trail
for Guadalupe Hildalgo
sneak drinks
from the Chetco river.
I'd name myself Sequoya;
be sentinel
for spots of owls,
and Murrelet's marbles;
become the core
of a Sparrow's Eye.
Author notes
Spotted Owls -- Federally threatened species
Marbled Murrelets -- California endangered species
Sequoia or Sequoya -- Giant redwood trees that are the tallest living trees.
Sequoyah -- Cherokee leader who created the Cherokee Nation's alphabet.
Sparrow's Eye -- that's me
James loves Jeannie #2
Oh, and ALWAYS EDITING
Written July 7th, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Lovely weave of spirituality and nature here... reminded me of Rumi's "trees are poems that nature writes upon the sky". The ending is great too - to see far and wide from high up in the trees. Good to read you again!
~ Nicolette
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A messenger from Winklings swoops down into your page,
pushing through high canopies of large green leaves
and stumbles upon musical verses dripping like honey
of large and small birds and other living creatures
With concern and thoughtful craft words gush loudly
May you win in life and so shall your concerns
A warm welcome from a Genuine Winkler........
Sam
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The redwoods are so awesome and I love this tribute you have written to them... really nice! Exquisite background too.
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sparrow, I did like the piece, but your describing of each detail, ie.. Marbled Murrelets was a little hard to read. I knew the details of all of them before your author notes but had to read slowly so I could understand your points. It does make a lot of sense and also makes a good statemnt. and I respect your ablity. image and Visions
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Wow, I have never seen a redwood other than a picture, but really want to now. Well done. Thanks for entering our contest. Good Luck! James and Jeannie
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Oops also misspelled hidalgo put the l in the wrong place.
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I misspelled syllabaries, had an extra r.
syl·la·bar·y Pronunciation (sl-br)
n. pl. syl·la·bar·ies
1. A list of syllables.
2. A set of written characters for a language, each character representing a syllable.
I thought of a comma after Hephaestus instead of (or) but decided against it, I like the "feel" of it as is.
Guadalupe is spelled correctly and not found in the English dictionary but found in the encyclopedia.
I'm a minimulist writer, I find when I expand my writes I ramble on and on and... Brevity is my trade mark. One day when I grow up I'll write more.
As Billy Collins said:
I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.
But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.
They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means. -- Introduction to Poetry
Thanks so much for the imput.
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Yup, not familiar at all with mythology but i thot it sounded cool!
Rock on,
Madison -
Syllabraries does not come up in my dictionary. I assume it is a biological term for part of a plant, the roots, I guess. I don't remember my teacher using that term in my California natural history course though.
If you put a comma after Hephaestus, you won't need the or before Artemis. The line sounds a little odd with the two ors so close together.
I think you are missing an L in Guadalupe Hildalgo
I think you have a good start here, but something feels off to me. It could be fleshed out more. You use a lot of allusion and metaphor, and you have some imagery, but I think it could use more. I usually advise people to cut, cut, cut, but in this case, I think you have been a little too minimalistic. Not really trying to be critical, because what you have is good. -
Ah yes, The Blackfoot Nation. All though I wrote of the Cherokee Nation I am really part Creek (Muskogee). So yes we are of kindred spirit. Thanks for stopping by dear sister.
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Very nice piece and a wonderful tribute to those things in nature that all have all but forgotten. I am Blackfoot Indian so I too have a special spot in my heart for the American Indian.
Lovely write Tood luck with the contest. -
This is absoltely wonderful! You have captured something that i think more people should know about. Great write.
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Hiya sweetie,
how are you. Thanks so much for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed. -
I hate it when that happens. I'm usually a stickler about spelling. Thanks so much for drawing my attention to it. So glad you stopped by and enjoyed the read.
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Truly amazing...the spirit of the tree captured in every line...soothing bkground. Kudos! One thing..."sneak"is spelt like this.
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Brava!
Brava! This was magnificient! I do not know what else to say! Brava! Brava! Brava! Jane -
Thanks so much glad you enjoyed the read.
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very lovely piece great work
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