Sat by the fusty loch,
wearing my least favourite orange jumpsuit
about to take a swim – both of us.
Even the belly-up fishes seem amused
as the flies hum at the “clown.”
As my legs slide beneath the water,
curious hairs on the back of my neck
stand - and fall over laughing at
the olive grunge clinging to my
baggy suit.
Sarcastic sniggers and concerned
expressions are all I need,
(correction) – all I am given
to wish luck upon my daily swim.
Half closed eyes sneer as if
I am the insane one when I ask
the nearby apple tree for shade.
Nevertheless, my jumpsuit and I
have had a productive day -
alike, the winged nuisances enjoyed
a meal with the rotten fish.
However, if I were to titter at
the poor choice of cuisine, my
tongue would be snapped by the
sincerity and the way of life.
I admire the lake as it turns from
teal to silver – sheep have faith
in the assertive, unfortunately I
am just a fool.
Degraded with my quaint orange and
mossy jumpsuit, I leave the rancid
fish belly-up.
Author notes
Gibberish, yet again.
Written July 6th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- What's In Your Head by pimp daddy satin.
300 points, ended August 17, 2006, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
It started out to be about the fact I find no one takes me serious, or respects me and I feel I'm been made fun of etc. But then the poem just developed and became what it is. Thanks for reading and thanks for the comment.
-
cool
ok, this is probably the oddest poem i have read on this site, but it was also one of the best great imagery (whatever it was you were talking about!). was there a message, a personal meaning to this poem???? i didn't pick up on anything, but it has to mean something to you, even if you only wrote it to be differrent, well, i liked it a lot. good job -
I love this poem and I like the orange jumpsuit!
A very original poem well done a fantastic read!
Keep up the good work!
Edited on Jul 10, 9:16 because ''. -
Excellent
Without a doubt you are one of the better poets on this site. Very nicely written poem. What I liked about this poem is that it was the first poem I have read on this site that, didn’t rhyme, but was still gripping. Let me explain, I’m not saying that poetry requires rhyme, certainly not, but as I prefer that sort of structure, it was unusual for me to like your poem as much as I did, which is a compliment, and to your utmost credit. Your use of sibilance, personification, onomatopoeia, parenthesis, the list goes on, adds to the poems interest, dynamic, texture and readability. The lines “Half closed eyes sneer as if, I am the insane one when I ask the nearby apple tree for shade.” is a truly exciting few lines of poetry that I think are just wonderful. Truly a cleverly written poem that Is to your credit as a poet. Very impressed by your work.
Edited on Jul 08, 6:14 because 'Typo'. -
1 and a 1/2 spuds up
At first it was a bit confused but it comes together if you stick with it. Good write overall, one of the strangest free verses I have ever read... and that is saying something so
Bravo
Spudman -
Wonderfully written, I loved it. You have talent my friend. I hope you will keep up the lovely work.
A poet I love to read, allpoetry.com/poets/Pikeodaw g/
Check out his stuff as well.
Keep up the wonderful writting
-
Cool write
You call it gibberish, I call it
A UDFC poem
Translated?
A Unique, Different, Funky, Cool poem
Intruigingly unusal and strange, I like it
It flows well, and keeps the reader interested (Well it did me )
Keep up your unique stlye of work
Stay safe
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
7 old applause
