Her last day:
The roaring thunder, dominates the midnight sky
[It's okay now, no one can hear her cry]
She takes a step out side, into the pouring rain
[No one can now see her shed her tears of pain]
She screams to be saved, but the thunder suffocates her call
[It looks like no ones going to be there to catch her when she falls]
Rain comes crashing down, thunder echoes through the air
[The thing that hurts her the most is knowing that no one cares]
She walks over to a tree that lies on the ground
She pulls out a knife and makes sure no ones around
She begins to carve a message into the burnt tree
She begins by writing 'Please don't forget me'
She walks away from the tree and looks up at the sky
[The thunder has died down, now you can hear her cry]
She's finished her message, there's only one thing left to do
[This would have never happened, if she knew he loved her too]
Her last words:
I love him so much, why couldn't he see
He didn't even know, he meant so much to me
I wish I could have told him, but now it's too late
For I'm about to spread my wings and fly up to heavens gates
Goodbye
_______________________
~*~
-Silence-
[She takes the knife and holds it tightly in her hand]
[She gently whispers 'I hope they will understand']
[She plunges the knife into her, she didn't even make a sound]
[She fades to black, her body falls to the ground]
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
His last day:
Midnight falls, he takes a walk down by the lake
He's about to end his life, there's no more that he can take
He throws a note into the water, and watches it float away
No one really knew, he would end his life today
He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a gun
He knows his life is over, everything is done
He stands by the lake, and looks up at the stars
[They were both so close, but yet they were both so far]
His last words:
I wish I told her I loved her but she would be better off without knowing
I tried so hard to keep strong, but my emotions are now showing
I really do love her, she means the world to me
But... I guess... It wasn't meant to be
But now it's time, I can't hold on anymore
I knew she didn't love me, I knew that for sure
I've been hanging off the edge all my life, it's time I let go
I'll love her forever, I just want her to know
I will love her forever
_______________________
~*~
[He takes the gun and holds it to his head]
[There were so many words that went unsaid]
['I love her so much' He whispers, silence now falls]
[He's drifting away as death hears his call]
[He pulls the trigger, a bang fills the air]
[All his life he was tormented, he thought it wasn't fair]
[Not a sound can be heard, his body falls to the floor]
[Both their lives are now over, they just couldn't take it anymore]
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Imagine what could have been, if only they both knew
She was in love with him and he felt the same way too
But.It's.Too.Late.Now
Author notes
Inspired by you! 
... I know it's a piece of crap but I hope it's okay for your contest 
Oh yeah, and I'm sorry for how long it is lol 
Written July 5th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- †Emotions!† by OurxBeginning.
303 points, ended July 11, 2006, 42 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MY FIRST CONTEST! PEN ME A POEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by BB-Rabbit.
490 points, ended October 22, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write Me To Tears by SilentMoonlight.
2700 points, ended November 3, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CELEBRATING POETRY AND POETS- ONE-DAY competition, "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY by Vera Rich.
6000 points, ended November 26, 2008, 127 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 59 of 59
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I've read a poem with this storyline before, but even so, this was so moving -
Although I hope that they would be reunited in Heaven, and know that they died for each other!
Very well written; rhymes were spot on, and it wasn't too long - just long enough! Really enjoyed reading it, and thanks for entering
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Absolutely beautiful. My eyes were glued to the screen while reading this. I love the flow of words and the tragicness of it all. Great write!
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I find this almost impossible to read (I did ask that texts be made easily legible!) but so far as I can make out, you seem to have misread the rules of my "Celebrating poetry and poets" competition. For this piece does not seem to refer to either. I wish you luck with it elsewhere - but for this particular competition, it has to rank as a "non-starter".
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LOL I remember when I wrote this
Thanks for entering loveliness!
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wow, i needed to get some inspiration, and this does the trick, this poem never ceses to make me tearful... i told you ill be commenting on itevery now and then, and this is one of these times
omf'ing god this poem is awesome, i know i should probably read your later works, but im putting this as my 'favorite' poem... you can check if you wish, lol -
Thanks!
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Omg..I love this poem..Im faving it..Its AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven't come across a lot like this, so its really unique. Keep it up man I love your work!!! -
Lol, thanks for your comment
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dark, but very good
It's so sad how many people don't tell each other that they love each other...i've been inspired, again. yay! -
Lol... Thanks for your comment! ♥
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omg this is amazing
??? didnt i reply on this...i dont understand.
this is wierd and unusual. oh well, great poem, every stanza felt like that girls blade on an emotional level, it struck deep and hard and you really made me feel for both charicters.
lets just hope they meet up in the afterlife
but hope is a frail thing... -
Thank you very much
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Haunting
I loved this poem even though it was dark and twisted and really sad.... it reminded me of a story I wrote though, I really loved it. you have alot of talent. thanks for sharing. -
Yeah that's very true... Thanks for your comment
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Thanks
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So the moral of the story is: Always tell someone how you feel. Even if it hurts. Words left unsaid are regretted later.
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This hits home.
Its amazing.
I cant tell you how it made me feel, im a poet without words right now.
Wow.
Very well written. Distinct and vivid imagery, with a nice use of verbs.
Your friend in pen,
Wren -
Aww thanks my dear! It means a lot to me!
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Stacey.
I absolutely love your poetry.
You always surprise me with what you write and its always brilliant.
Such emotion you let into your writing, and it always captures me no matter how short or long your poems are they are always at such a high standard, i admore your poetry and most of all you.
Well cone, such amazing writes everytime.
Ashxxx<3 -
Thankies!
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Wow! Each break was like jumping off of a cliff, then the words return and it's like knowing it's going to hurt when the end finally hits. This is a beautiful and tragic write. Absolutely smashing! Best of luck in the contest!
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Thank you for your lovely comment
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This poem is amazing, I think it's the best I have read. I love the story behind it the most. It reminds me of shakespeare, I'm a big fan of his romeo and juliet. You did an excellent job! Congradulations
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Thank you very much! I'll add you to my faves too and check out some of your work
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Thank ya!
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WOW! This poem is simply one of a kind, so sad and tragic. A silent love kept closed forever....And to think that you inspired by Les makes it so intriguing indeed, for sweetums is an awesome and authentic writer. You really took my breath away with this wonderful piece of art. I'm in awe you are very inspiring. I wish you the best of fortune in the contest. I'll add you to my faves definately. Keep writing til the ink runs out....
MxA
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Wow...so wow....i was inspired. Good job...very good job.Keep up the good work girl, your poems rock!
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Thanks
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great job
This is a very true poem,. i really enjoyed reading it.. so many people hold to much stuff in, instead of being open, u need to express how you feel,,even if u think it won't matter,because like the poem u will never know if you dont let it show..great write... -
Thank ya for your comment!
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Gigitty
oOoOhHhH wonderfully fun, i actually know people who need to read this poem right now..hmmm -
Aww, I'm so sorry that you've lost your brother, I hope things get better for you Thank you for your comment
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Awww, thanks! I love you too dear! ♥
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Aww, thanks my dear! It means a lot ♥
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Your poem made me in my emotional state start crying. I know people are going to read my comments and say-she always mentions her brother-but he just died in May-and he and his ex wife were still in love and your poem made me cry so hard for that lost love. She is in agony of what should and what could have been. Thank you for expressing something I'm feeling for my brother. RobinRae.
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WOW this was inspired by my writing's?! This in my opinion is probably your best write yet. So very deep and emotional. Excellent rhyming and a very sad tragic ending. Reminds me of my write Blue Eyed Tragedy. Thanks for entering m'dear and good luck. Love ya!
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OMG huney you have no idea ... this seriously made me start crying and I haven't cried in so long ... makes me wonder about a lot ... this is really inspring you win this contest hands down screw all the other entries! YOu did amazing sweetness great job!
♥Jordanne♥ -
morbid, but intense. It reads somewhat like a backwards romeo and juliet. It's such a terrible thing when someone gives in to despair and takes their own life. One of the lines that made me most thoughtful was this:
"'I hope they will understand'"
My thoughts were that they might understand the motivation (they might not) but most people can't, won't or don't understand the success.
I didn't check the contest's requirements for the piece, but it was a dark and mournful descent into a self-worthless world of despair. Painful and pervasive. -
Thanks for your comment, it means a lot to me!!! ♥
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Wow! This is very dramatic! I like it though! It kind of made me think of the Romeo and Juliet play. I know both of them knew they loved each other and all that but just how they both died because Romeo thought she was dead and killed himself and then she found him and killed herself. That story made me so sad. So as I was reading this it made me sad too. And you know that kind of stuff happens all the time. Not in people killing themselves but in loving each other but they're both two afraid and so the other never knows and they both lose. So I think that you did a good job of expressing yourself here. Good luck in the contest you entered and thanks for featuring this so that we all had a chance to share your words and feelings with you!
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Thank you very much for your comment, it means a lot to me ♥
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Wonderfully melodramatic... I love this... I really do
I love him so much, why couldn't he see
He didn't even know, he meant so much to me
I wish I could have told him, but now it's too late
switch around the gender on this, and It would be my exact fear... Perhaps she does love me... you've given me some hope with this poem... this is stunning... one of the best I've seen today
best of luck
Starlit Kisses -
Thank you!
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WOW....OMG dats sooo sad!!!My hands were shakin and i was cryin!!!Dat poem is soooo AWESOME yet so very sad!!!
~~Cassandra~~ -
thank ya
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wow! that was amazing
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Yeah I agree, thanks for your comment
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painful and real
great poem,
i know what it is like to feel invisable.
i also know whats its like to have such deep feelings
for another person.
when i feel i am losing my power
i walk away STAT.
ITS UN HEALTHY TO LOVE THAT DEEPLY
i have learned this by repetition.
a big hug -
Thanks, it means a lot!
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it's not crap. it's just very dramatic. in fact, it's wonderful... for those that believe in unspoken love... which, unfortunately not me (i believe in love being real only when it is openly mutual). but it was good. good story. good imagery. good rhyme. good luck in the contest!!!
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Thank you
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Her last words:
I love him so much, why couldn't he see
He didn't even know, he meant so much to me
I wish I could have told him, but now it's too late
For I'm about to spread my wings and fly up to heavens gates
Goodbye
truely amazing work indeed
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Lol, wow, thanks for your comment, it really means a lot to me! ♥
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oh and by the way... if you dont win this contest no-one should. lol ^_^
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this piece had my hands shaking and alost in tears...THIS IS THE BEST POEM I HAVE SEEN ON THIS SITE SO FAR!!! and i mean that with every fibre of my being. everything in this poem was.............there is no explanation, it mooved me, deeply
know that i am going to bookmark this poem and probably read it often, so youll hear more from me -
Thank you!
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Yeah I know it's a bit long lol, but I kinda just let everything flow... Thanks for you comment!
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Crap!!!! NO WAY!! This is so incredible. Wonderfully written. It flows so well!! Just so great. You have described every little thing so perfectly. It isn't too long in my opinion. You have an awesome talent. Great job. Thank you for sharing. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Jeannie D Hunter
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great piece. I like it. It's pretty good. I little too long for my taste but it's good. good luck in the ocntest and keep up the great work
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