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when clarity calls



Remembering what you said the other night-
my heart sinks like a stone.
I never knew you felt that way at all.

I've realised i've not been paying you enough attention-
i've let things slip.

I've been taking you for granted,
i know that now.

I need you to know that you're beautiful to me
in every way imaginable-

i need to start making you feel special again
and to let you know how much i love you.

And that without you-
i'd be a mere shadow of who i am;

you keep my feet on the ground.

I know that you've never seen me cry
and that i struggle with my emotions-

but even on my blackest days,
my love for you always shines bright.

And although the flames won't always dance,
my love for you shall burn forever.

Corrina, you're beautiful
and i love you.


Alex
05/07/06.
xxx

Author notes

i wrote this for my wife after she said something one night that shocked me, she was feeling very down so i gave her this.
Written July 5th, 2006

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 48 of 48

  • xXxCry-HavocxXx
    January 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is... idk, its awesome!


  • warrior-eagle
    October 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awwwwwwww.
    I am glad you two guys
    can be there for each other
    I sincerely hope that you guys enjoy your relationship very much.
    And I bet she smiled when she read this
    ~~~~~~~~~
    Its great


  • the-gifted
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    aww this is very romantic. i am glad you two can be there for each other and cheer each other up through bad things. great write. i hope you enjoy your love for the rest of your life. thanks for entering and good luck in my contest.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    May 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I'm glad you could express that love that you hold for her deep down. Sometimes when we are in a situation that we are used to, we forget to show what made it that way in the first place. Like when you are married you forget to impress your lover and show them that you care... Sometimes just need a little boost in the right direction.


  • lysdarling
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    bet this cheered up, you're a very sweet man. she is lucky. have a great day n' luck in the contest
    xoxo,
    lys


  • Tears and Raine
    April 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awww. It's so sweet and beautiful. "I need you to know that you're beautiful to me in every way imaginable-" That is so cute. This is a very precious poem and the fact that it was given to your wife makes it all the better. Hehe, she must have been awed by it. Thank you for entering and good luck.

    ~Raine~

    **I would have given applause but I have run out...sorry!


  • AngelKissez059
    March 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is entered in alot of contests but i like how you wrote this for your wife even when she said something that shocked you because you love her that much
    i like this verse:
    And although the flames won't always dance,
    my love for you shall burn forever.
    it shows alot of love and passion and your wife should be proud to know you love her so much
    thanks for entering and good luck in my contest
    ♥kelc


  • tawk gold member
    February 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Such a beautiful write of love. I so enjoyed reading your poem. So full of emotions and love. Good luck in my contest


  • teenagefailure
    January 24, 2007

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    uh ..... wow
    this poem reminds me of someone i no wow its truley amazing! my favorite lines were :
    I've realised i've not been paying you enough attention-
    i've let things slip.

    I've been taking you for granted,
    i know that now.

    I need you to know that you're beautiful to me
    in every way imaginable-

    i need to start making you feel special again
    and to let you know how much i love you.

    And that without you-
    i'd be a mere shadow of who i am;
    i no thats alot but this whole poem is amazing !
    GOOD LUCK!!!


  • Norman Crabtree
    January 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    its touching and really personal that this actually happened. you should perhaps pay your wife more attention if shes the one that keeps you on the ground?


  • libero006
    January 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    aww that is a very cute and well written poem. usually it is poems saying how much they like someone but the other not caring, but you made it different by apologizing, it was fantastic and very touching, i bet your wife was very happy with it. great job and goodluck in my contest

  • xXxSilentCryxXx
    December 23, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Awww wow this was a really sweet poem. Sometimes you dont realise what you're doing until someone says something. I could relate to this.
    Thanks for entering.
    x

  • Paradise Prisoner
    November 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    very romantic and sweet. any women's dream.


  • Beautifully Poetic
    November 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    that is beautiful...THANK you for entering my poem contest, it was a pleasure reading your work!


  • LaMerci
    September 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very heartfelt sincere peice. Thank you for sharing your emotional words with me.


  • The Eyes of a Angel
    September 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Awwww now this is a beautiful piece. Thanks for entering and good luck


  • alicia55
    September 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    well done a heart filled piece full of emotion thanks for sharing


  • Floorboards
    August 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks a lot ashley, much appreciated,
    alex.


  • XSEXSIxKITTENx
    August 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    whoa this is so sweeet, i love this very much, i love these lines, they are deep ;
    And although the flames won't always dance,
    my love for you shall burn forever.
    Very strong emotion is shown throughout this piece, i like it very much! i wish you wel take care ~Ashley~


  • Floorboards
    August 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks a lot for your encouraging comments, they are very much appreciated,
    floorboards.


  • Floorboards
    August 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks tang! much appreciated,
    floorboards.


  • intanglio2ring
    August 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dear floorboards,
    Yep!
    Women do take major maintenance!
    Glad to have your poem declaring you love - very beautiful!
    Thanks for entering and Good Luck in the contest!
    Tang


  • cherche -d -ame
    August 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    being that most things I write are free-form, of course I enjoyed this. But it is more than just that....I think you did that form justice. It is as if the thoughts were just flowing out of you and wrote them down. And that is what to me makes a perfect free verse I love reading good rhyme....however I personally am no good at it......I do believe it takes special talent to make rhyme seem unforced and very few can master that.....I wish you the very best in this contest and you should be proud of this one,
    respect
    reenie


  • Floorboards
    August 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    you need reminders? , cheers my friend,
    very much appreciated,
    alex


  • sarajaneUK
    August 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This Alex, is the kind of poem, that reminds me why you are on my favorites. I still love it. Jan


  • Floorboards
    August 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for your wonderful comments forever-silenced, much appreciated,
    floorboards.


  • forever - silenced
    August 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    It's good to hear that you have challenged yourself to write a poem in a different style... I must say you managed it better then i did when I first tried free verse. Anyways this poem is very heartfelt... honest and sincere it does not pick out the faults in the other person but in you... my favourite lines in this poem are

    "I need you to know that you're beautiful to me
    in every way imaginable,

    i need to start making you feel special again
    and to let you know how much i love you."

    These lines could be all talk and you might not do what you said you need to do BUT i think you will there is a type of urgency in this poem which i like the type which says i am going to do this which is awesome! i think you handled free verse extremely well! thank you for entering my contest and good luck much love


    ~Forever Silenced~

    P.S. I hope it all goes well and that you DO do what you said you would good luck

  • Floorboards
    July 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thank you very much for your honest comments, i appreciate it and i've sorted the punctuation[i think],
    thanks again,
    floorboards.


  • Illiterate Iguana
    July 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    When I first started to read this poem I got irritated will the lack of capitalisation especially in the “I” but when I reached the lines:
    “i'd be a mere shadow of who i am,”
    This idea started to make sense as the use of small i's make the idea if I seem dazed, unimportant and over used. This line made it the image seem much stronger. Was this done deliberately? If not you need to think about how little things really effect how the poem reads and relates to your readers. I like how the poem reads like a letter to the reader rather than the narrator telling the audience about his/her love thus making the poem some what more personal to the reader. Although I think that you need to focus on rhythm much more strongly, something I have never been good at creating, but the use of rhythm and image make poems much more drastic and effective for readers. Well done for this lovely entry.
    Illiterate Iguana.


  • Floorboards
    July 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thankyou very much choirangel,
    much appreciated,
    floorboards.


  • Heartofacircle
    July 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    mixed emotions and what you feel like you need to do.. I advise you to follow your heart and this girl that you speak of ... you could tell her how you feel and do what you can to make her feel better, just dont change you, bigg mistake there...thanks for sharing, keep up the awesome poetry here.


  • Floorboards
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thank you ever so much my friend,
    very much appreciated,
    alex


  • Inside and out
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a new style for you. Everything that you write comes straight from your heart and brilliant mind so it is always endearing. I love the sentiments that you express and the manner that you displayed them. Very nicely done indeed!


  • Floorboards
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thank you very much,
    floorboards.


  • exoticbeaches
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    high five floorboards. this is compelling, emotional and truly from your heart. great write.


  • Floorboards
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thank you very much for commenting,much appreciated,
    floorboards.


  • wings of an angel
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    very good write that you had penned here floorboards your rhythm flowed beautifully


  • Floorboards
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    aw thank you so much jan!
    your wonderful comments are always very much appreciated,
    cheers!
    alex

  • sarajaneUK
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    WHOA!!! What an excellent piece you've written, my god, no wonder she cried! It's wonderful, ahh Alex, if only there were more like you around. A fab fab piece honey! Great stuff. Jan

  • Floorboards
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    hey cheers shug for your wonderful comments,i definitely found this quite cathartic,i feel so much better for "saying it", she [my wife]started crying of course,women eh?
    thanks again pal,
    alex.


  • shuggie
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Alex this is a cracking piece the words used are inspiring.My thoughts on this are that women can crumble any man with words alone.I wrote a piece not as good but simillar it's called Where am I going wrong? and it says much the same I was feeling a bit insecure at the time and even silly things like advertisements on T.V had me thinking.I don't know but I found even though I never posted the piece writing it made things a little better,I just tried to up things a gear and that worked for me,I think women need to be told and shown how worth it they are but if the girls really that special she should know it.I hope things work out for you or whoever the poem's about.Thanks Shug


  • Floorboards
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks puppydog,feel free to send me one of yours,
    alex.


  • Puppydog gold member
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    EMOTIONAL AND BEAUTIFUL

    A true and beautiful out pouring of your heart.


  • Floorboards
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    aw cheers my friend,
    she was literally moved to tears!
    alex.


  • Floorboards
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks very much for your wonderful comments pal,
    and your continued support,
    alex.


  • urehooked
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely piece of writing my friend and sad.Sometimes we do just take people for granted and although we love them so much,perhaps forget to tell them or let them know just how much we appreciate them.I,m sure this lovely poem will help show just how much you love and appreciate Corrina.Kenny


  • July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh Alex this is just soooo beautiful. If this doesnt melt her heart then nothing will. It came straight from the heart.

1 - 48 of 48