Whenever there is trouble
And you need a helping hand
Don't be afraid to call my name
Just call for Flatulenceman
Who else to better stop a threat
No matter what the depth
For who can really be a jerk
When gasping for their breath
I'll rush right in and do my thing
All conflict will cease to be
Because they can not stand the smell
Of the odor that comes from me
It started on a Saturday
I think it was at brunch
I had my fill of pinto beans
The rest is just a hunch
I discovered I had this talent
And could use it for mankind
I will continue to fight evil
With the help of my behind
I am a mild manner fellow
With slightly protruding gut
Nothing makes me stand out
Except for my big butt
I live a place called Rosewood
Keeping my eye on Rosie Shower
She is my greatest enemy
For she smells just like a flower
How could I fight the criminals
When Rosie is too near
Her smell would overpower mine
And negate my powerful rear
So keep the faith alive my friends
You will never have to fear
I will continue to do my very best
Of this I am sincere
Author notes
Option 3 Superhero
Written July 4th, 2006
In a list
- Make Me Laugh So Hard That I Cry! (contest entries) • next in list
- Humor • next in list
- Bronze Winners • next in list
- Honorable Mentions • next in list
A contest entry
- Rhyme ^^ by burning alive.
550 points, ended April 1, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Superheroes, Supervillains, Superpowers, Get The Gist? by Death of the Author.
875 points, ended August 25, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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This is awesome! Some part of me can't help think though that this power could be used for evil purposes as well...maybe to better effect! Really great poem, the flow was perfect and the rhyme was good too. Good luck, thanks for entering and take care x
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ilovethomix
Thank you so much for your comments. They are greatly appreciated.
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ahaha
very good, and funny. ^^ it's always good to laugh every once in a while. Good luck in the contest man.
-Angel- -
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thank you burning alive
Thank you so much for your comments. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem.
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Thank you for your comments lil-purple-pixi. I am glad that you enjoyed my superhero escapades.
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LOOOL thats soo funny in a incredibly infantile way, anyway ur rhyme is great and it has great "flow". Brill
- Amyz -
Thank you so much for your comments esroddo. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for hosting this contest.
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WONDERFUL
Wow I couldnt sleep so I checked the poems, And this one just make me laugh so much.I even had to read it twice and then I still laugh. Wonderfully done, As I write this I still have a smile on my face. I give you a great applauds. Good luck in the contest, and thank for entering. Lisa -
Thank you for your comments intanglio2ring. I am amazed at your talents. I'm sure that I have a talent too. I just haven't found it yet.
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Dear Pollycheck,
I smelled the whole thing and SURVIVED!
Whew! Pinto beans - I have the ability to distinguish a Burger King fart from Taco Bell.
Yes, some of us are born with hidden talents.
Very enjoyable poem!
Tang -
Thank you so much for your comments ILuvJoey33. I appreciate you best wishes.
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very funny gross in a cute way write good luck in the contest!
~Jolene
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farts indeed
he does a lot
some fresh air
would hit the spot
as air is heavy
and I'm getting weak
STENCH-BE-GONE
is what I seek -
not to harm? are you sure
when this page smells just like manure?
from our new friend we would never be parting
exept for the fact that he wont stop farting
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the words here
were not meant to harm
just noticing
your page smells like farm
we are just hoping
a day will pass
when you let
up on that gas
Edited on Jul 04, 7:52 p.m. because ''. -
behind your back we would not stand
for there you would have the upper * hand *
and so in front of you we keep
or the smell would knock us all to sleep
Edited on Jul 04, 7:50 p.m. because ''. -
what is this going on
behind my back
mzblondemoments and honey bear
my super powers did attack
do not fear
i have returned
these cuts i feel
are not unearned
the stench of mine
sometimes is strong
but it dosen't mean
that i am wrong
though superhero
i might be
the words still hurt
like knives to me
So did I make you fell bad, did I huh, did I? Thanks for the comments honey bear.
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look the stench
blew off your socks
it even singed some
of your locks
now most of your
hair is fried
I told it was bad
I haven't lied
I knew this smell
would takes its toll
it took my breath
with what he dole
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oh dear there a problem lies
i have NO toes
this bear replies
so maybe while YOUR toes he knocks of
maybe he will blow my SOCKS OFF
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Yes the rage
seems to be farts
you best leave
before he starts
cause when he's
dealt those blows
he will have knocked
you off your toes -
what is that smell i wonder
coming off this page
it seems a new trend has arrived
to fart is all the rage
Edited on Jul 04, 6:28 p.m. because ''. -
YEs forgetfulwoman
thats who I be
thanks so much for
reminding me
what's the thing about
rosie's shower
oh no I forgot
my super power
I truly appreciate
your concern
maybe one day
I will learn
how to remember
my power to be
wondering why I have a can
of STENCH-BE-GONE
in front of me
-
Again concern
is not for me
I remember what
your power to be
forgetfulwoman
is who you are
and you will live up
to it per par
when you get against
my powers that smell
you forget how to use rosies
and say oh well
The day will be saved
I will triumph again
cause you'll just forget
flatulence will reign -
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oh yes that
Rosie shower
gave to me
all her power
and your stench
will surely die
with my scent
I do not lie
now the air
will smell like spring
gone will be all
the smells you bring
I will conquer
you my friend
just remember
this ain't the end -
no sprays been found
that can compare
to what I can do
to the once fresh air
sprays have
been tried
but all
have died
there is no
odor stronger
no one that
can last longer
but try
if you must
but you'll come
up a bust
The only one near
that I tend to fear
is that Rosie Shower
with her sweet smelling power
Thanks again mzblondemoments.
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hahaha... another appropriate page to "fart" upon! You should gather all of your friends and wreak some havoc on Pollycheck's poem page, then I won't feel so picked on.
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I love it
Oh you think you
can foil me
I have a can of
STENCH-BE-GONE
in front of me
so dont you think
you can fog the air
I will spray
from over here
no gas mask
will I equip
when you let those
odors rip
just one spray
will knock you
down as well
keeping away that
wicked smell
my head might ache
and eyes may burn
but with my powers
you will learn
just remember
when you cut the cheese
I will spray the air
with cool breeze
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Thank you for your comments and your applause volebabe. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem.
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Thank you for your comments neoladyem. It was a fun poem to write. Thank you for hosting this contest
Edited on Jul 04, 1:29 p.m. because 'typo'. -
Hahaha! Thanks for the laugh!
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Oh my Gosh! This is the funniest thing I have ever read in this contest! I love the super you chose. The most oringal so far. This totally reminds me of my little brother.
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