Oh God
have you
seen a child ?
a child
who is back
back after
playing in the mud
returning
home in the evening
with a hope that now
his mother
will take him to bath
to make him
afresh and
clean once again
and
that child is me
and
that mother of course is you
Oh God...
A contest entry
- Your most popular by Beating.
425 points, ended October 26, 2007, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heaven Sent ~ Inspirational/Spiritual ~ by Stardust-luvr.
950 points, ended May 31, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 92 of 92
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What a way for you to show how you can speak with God and cleanse your soul, as well as speak of a child hoping for his mother to bathe him clean as well. I love the way you integrate the word of God, with everyday life meanings. You are by far a passionate, wonderful poet, and very inspirational.
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Thank you ...
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oh god i love it
it is perfect this is so gold and the message that is spoken is very clear i so love this congrads on the cups
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Simply Beautiful
The picture and the poem are both simple and rich
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well written with profoundness spoken giving the essense of the spiritual cleansing of the soul not just the bathing cleansing of body. Filled with faith and unspoken strength within the spirit. thank you for entering and many blessings always xxx
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That is so cool. What a great thought. We're all children come home dirty, hoping he will make us clean again!
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Very good write funny too good luck in the contest
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I like the poem - it starts out very innocent with me thinking 'oh yeah I know that child' and then the twist comes, which I love, I always love a good twist.
So, you are the child, we all are, and god is the mother who has to clean us? -
lovely write, great inspiration
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This really touched me, your words are so honest, pure and symple and yet so full of meaning and faith. I loved it! I cant imagine these lines being any better! Thanks so much.
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Very interesting, I liked it great write. I like the twist at the end that the child is you. Nice flow.
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What a great job you did on this one! I wasn't sure what I was gonna find when I clicked, but it is amazing!! Thanks for sharing!
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Hi PrabhuDayal
If you live three lifetimes, do not expect to hear the truth from anyone except your mother.
Great poem...and song!
John
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Very well written. Filled with lots of imagery. As far as the song goes nicely put. Thanks for sharing. ~~Shannon~~
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wow this hit my heart
iam feeling the picture
inside me with your words
you hit the nail on the head with this poem
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Such a wonderful write filled with sentiment that touches the heart...
Beautifully done...
Lynda
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Oh God....
Awesome..perfect ending..Two little words that can enwreath so many diverse emotions. Beautiful and chillingly realistic. The word Sardonic leaps to mind, too. Fantastic.
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"and
that mother of course is you
Oh God..." is my favorite part good luck -
The words coupled with the picture are quite chilling. We have no idea what we are putting children through right now. Our human tactics for power and control are definately nothing new, but now is what we have to work with.
Of course, as your poem states, it is not just the children of today, it is the child inside us all that is in need of nurture. -
Excellent
This is beautiful.... very deep and metaphorically written... there’s some truth in this saying; God couldn’t be every where that’s why he made mothers... A mother is the one through whom God whispers love to his children… succinct and to the point…
Looking forward to reading more of your profound work…
mina
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Sweet and simple.
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Beautiful!
It has the innocence of the child and the brilliance of your words. Its a beautiful piece. Everyone feels this way, everyone loves their mothers and you have just put all our feelings into expression. Loved it! -
What a wonderful write!
Well done and thanks for sharing this.
Best of luck to you with it in the contest!
Allen0826 -
This is an amazing poem.
Very spiritual and means a lot.
It is short,
but sweet.
And means a lot.
I have recently become a child of God.
And it feels so great, doesent it?
To have him wash all your sins away.
Forgive you no matter what?
It is great.
This feeling of happiness.
.
God Bless,
Justin -
excellent
brrief
but many implications
i drew from it
the prodigal son -
Good
PrabhuDayal Khattar~
Hey! I thought that this was a really good write...I enjoyed reading it. Keep on writing, I hope to stumble upon some more.
~!~Manda~!~ -
interesting piece penned here. made this ol gals mind think. lol doesnt take much these days. Best of luck to you.
Vsutton -
LOVELY
I REMEMBER WHEN MY NEPHEW TOLD HIS MAMA WHEN HE WAS COVERED WITH MUD THAT AN ELEPHANT CAME BY AND GOT HIM ALL DIRTY BUT MOM WAS THERE TO GET HIM ALL CLEAN AGAIN SO TRUE -
unbelievable write
You are forever doing it, my friend unbelievable write. I thank you for sharing it with me and know that you should be considered the winner alright.
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Very good. You know I have 3 small kids and well I can relate, the way I heard it was probably different than some it made me laugh because it could be from my head. good job.
Kim
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Oh. This is a nice little piece that you have going on here. I like it. It is very cute and simplistic in the words. But the thoughts and progression still keep this poem going nicely and I smiled at the end of it when the little boy realized he was the one getting a bath! lol I thought you did a good job of expressing yourself. So good luck in the contest you entered and thanks for featuring this so that we all had a chance to share your words and feelings with you.
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Last comment was sent prematurely, apologies!
So to continue...
I love the notion of the mother cleansing the child. Again it plays on that vulnerability which I mentioned earlier due to the dependent imagery.
I figure that's about it this time Well penned
~Faded -
Hum, what to say, what to say?
There is something rather desperate about all of this. There's an implied neediness which is oh-so vunerable and in turn, endearing. And yet that 'oh God' at the end seems like a right little cruncher. It hints at almst panic like realisation with the three little dots trailing from it.
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nice poem i really liked it
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Nicely done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You did a nice job on this!!I like the very ending where it says that mother is you. It made me feel like we as mothers are resposible forevery aspect of our children's life be it good or not so good. This flowed beautifully and got the point across nicely in few words, again, nice job!!!!!!!!!!!!!Toni
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This is brilliant! True to the spirit ...
This is true to the spirit of the quote. It is wonderfully written and is very catchy. It hooks the soul of your reader and carries them on to the summit of your poem. A really refreshing one at that too.
--Robert
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You...
You are such a devoted and spirtual personality...what can I say...literally I have started seeing your poetry more like prayers than mere use of poetic devices...really, a very fresh prayer to chant this early mourning...
Thank You
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exel.
So simple, So true, so to the point..
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awwwwwwww....
Beautiful!! i loved this sooo much! sooo amazing! keep it up! yesssss.
from me!
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I really like the layout as it puts pauses into the readers mind a space to reflect upon your words to see the imagery and relate to the vivid picture you portray. The readers will only take what they want or need. Just one fine post.
thank you for sharing
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Wow Father God washed his baby clean! This is so amazing.The metaphor is excellent and I love your background also.A simply beautiful write my friend!!! GBY
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Clever
The metaphor of being cleansed by the hand of God, at least thats what I interpreted it to mean, is clever and heartfelt is the message within. God Bless. -
Good write.Loved the picture it puts out in my minds eye.....
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amazing
awwwwwwwwwww i almost cried you did get a tear out of me so i guess that is crying lol any ways i really really like this poem!!!! it's perfct in every single way i LOVE this!!!!!!! keep up the grrrrrrrrrrrreat work!!! LOVE IT!!!!
this is amazing i don't think there are enough words to describe it!!!!
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This is lovely and poignant. Good luck on the contest. Cuz this is very delightful.
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Darling
I, at first, believed
but then your mother
what my eyes perceived
became God, the father.
Smoosh
Janet
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excellent write!
this is beautifully written! you did a wonderful job here. this reminds me of the parable of the prodigal son. a great message! you have great insight. you are very talented. God bless you
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Nice
That is a very sweet poem, good flow and word choice. Nice use of the quote, very interesting
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Wonderful
This is so fresh and so genuine, what a beautiful tribute for a mother, a very deep affection is showing in this poem. Wonderful.
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This is a good peom- in that for all of us it would bring back memories, and make us feel that soft vunerable part of us that we all have. But I am not really sure what the message is in this poem.
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Excellent.
Very well written! The short, pithy lines add a delicate simplicity that flows well. The image of the muddy child seeking cleaning from his mother is indeed illustrative of our need for "cleansing" from God. The words of 2 Corinthians 5:21 catches this too in our relationship to Jesus Christ, "He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in him." -
i liked it
It reminded me of my youth, thank you, it was very well wriiten
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natural art in print
Dear you have done it again... it amazes me how you are so capable of putting your heart on paper in a way that just captivates your audience. I am proud to be able to read your writes. Please keep that ink flowing!
hugs,
Suzi -
Few words can say alot when you read into it. God does forgive whenever we need it. I really like this
lindadoster -
i love this!!!!!!
and we truely are all children of GOD.he watches over us all and forgives in a large way.thank you for the reminder we are never alone.beautifully writing.
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I love the simplicity of this and the depth of meaning attached. The child has faith in his mother's forgiveness and knows she will do something to remedy the situation, likewise we must trust in God, no matter what sort of mess we're in, to help put us right. Brilliant!
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This is quite strange, I can see how the quote has influenced it. Perhaps it needs more description? But then perhaps it's left short and sweet as it is, I'll leave that up to you. Keep writing! Best of luck in the contest!
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Tears, for that child in you.
That's it you drove it home. Dont you dare change one word. "Suffer the little children" -
Much deeper than meets the eye
This poem can be interpreted in a number of ways, and that is a good thing as each reader can decide for themselves what it means to them. Someone suggested mud meaning sin; some children make bad choices in growing up and somehow hope that mothers will erase tha badness, the stigma of the evil deed, and that they can be washed clean again - interesting. Good flow and food for thought. Enjoyed the read, an the brevity of the lines. -
Incredible!
You did such an awesome job on this write! I didn't know what I was going to be reading once I clicked on the poem, but MAN! I'm so glad that I did! The comparison to the two is wonderful, and SO very true! Great write! Word choice, and flow was wonderful! Great Job!
I can't wait to read more from you!
Thanks for sharing!
-Jenna xXx
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WONDERFUL!
Your beautiful poem takes me back to my youth and me getting all dirty also.
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Interesting write. Could be interpreted a couple of ways after reading it a few times. Was a bit confusing on the first read but after rereading it my own mind was with the child with hopes that his mother would take notice and care for the child instead of neglecting his/her needs. Thank you for sharing.
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So lovely-So much talent-Keep it up!!
This is beautiful as usual for you. My cable people have had trouble but I am back. This is what I found.
I looked at the picture and read the words. Picture?
You sure meet the words. Very spiritual, Jackie -
Interesting vision, one I believe have totally misinterprteted, but see as an orphan that is playing the day away and wanting to badly to have the comforts of home. The only comfort he/she can find is that of the hope and wisdom of God....probably totally missed your point, but I must say I like how it came acrossed to me
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a great poem, very true. i also interpreted mud as being sin. keep it up!
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I dont think that picture was the best for this poem, but i know there wasnt much to pick from...lol...i liked the poem though...i know what you mean about the playing in the mud thing and havening to take a bath...i hope to read somemore poems from you!!
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Beautifully Written!
What a beautiful write. Is the poem to God? It seems to me that you want him to take you home after your time in the dirty world and make you clean and pure again. Did I misinterpret the piece? I love it though.
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This is wonderful how you speak of the child getting dirty only to be cleansed by the Lord. Well done!!
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Very very sweet, and simple, yet so full of emotion. Thank you very much for your entry!
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Could you add the rose to your authors comments? Thank you!
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This poem has such a unique and endearing quality to it that does relate to the quote. Such an interesting interpretation... Thank you so much for entering! Best wishes!
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STUNNING
Stunning and stirring words here. Very, very well done. This is moving and so filled with true wisdom. Beautiful write.
You have an inspirational quality to your writing I find so appealing. I admire your work very much.
Blessings! Tammy -
Beautiful!
Dear poet, this was like a mother's kiss. Simple and beautiful. What we strive for. I loved it! Jane -
WOW
that was breathtaking
its a really amazing point of view (both the speaker and the 2nd person) also the manner in which the question is asked.
a mother of course is a very interesting concept especially out of context. i will definately let that inspire me someday... perhaps some time thats not 1:34 AM : )
anyway
its an interesting to a mind that truly believes in a conscious living entity that created and controls the universe
good work
--rin -
very nicely written great imagery
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As always your poems reflect so much vision.
~Helen~
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terrific
I don't think I say it any better than it has already been said in any and all of the comments before mine, This is a wonderful write.
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Hm, this is really different. I didn't really understand the message though. Perhaps it's because i'm not real spiritual or anything. Nice job though and keep up the nice work. I grasped some of the meaning.
~Midnight~
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Oh yeah, I'm definetly off course. At first I didn't understand the title but, after reading the piece it makes perfect sense. I enjoyed the read.
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Awesome
I really like this poem, short and sweet. But still full of a lot of emotion that im not sure I can understand what you are going through. But I can relate to the poem and that is what makes it a great write.
Nice job.
Keep it up -
NOW THAT'S WAHT I CALL FAITH IN THE LORD!
Now that's what I call a fine spiritual poem and proclaimation of true faith in The Lord!
We are the children and GOD is the father & mother of us, indeed!
Good Luck in the contest and thank you SO MUCH for featuring this heartfelt, soulful, emotional, and holy piece for ohterwise I would have sadly missed it today and been a little lessoned enlightened for having missed it!
Peace & Love!
Earl.
I noticed that you used simple words here right from your heart and soul that flowed heavenly which is what REAL POETRY is all about to me which is the way that have been writng for over 40 years!
I'm SO GLAD that i still have some applause left to give to you for I can see that your father and mother in heaven is
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h
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g
d
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on you! -
FANTASTIC POEM!
I remember these days so well, playing all day long and coming home to a bath and a hot supper, (sigh) those beautiful days which are gone forever. -
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You know a write is good when the comments cause a tear. Gone for us but, living in our kids and thier kids and thier kids.
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Yes, I have read some amazing poets here and when one is able to touch others hearts it is a treasure.
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This was a very unique write and it was very well written... You did a great job with this.... I wish you best of luck in the contest!!... Keep up the amazing work!
♥
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that was a great work. definitely a favorite of mine since i myself and many others can relate highly!!! great job!
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The maternal instinct washes off many a mud stain but then the child becomes a potent brat if this continues and sometimes harsh measures need to be adopted for the betterment of the child and to instil a sense of discipline albeit in a constructive way and thats what mothers are for..and your poem says it all in a serene way and a sweet one at that subtle reasoning amidst a harsh backdrop Shubs
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wah!
wat a heart touching and wonderful poem. this poem is very simple and has a very natural flow of thoughts and words and ideas. a well representiion of dependence of humans on the ghod.
really u may not be my fan for acting but i'm really yours... now...
so keep writing .
thanks also for sharing this poem with us... -
Is the mud a metaphor for sin? That's how I read it. Unfortunately the other page is filtered so I can't see the picture but I liked your poem even without it I liked the use of question here Good use of enjambment Keep writing, this is a great spiritual narrative poem
All the best
Thanks for your comment
Pozo
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Oh my dear....
That isn't the picture I had in mind after reading the poem! It was sweet, though... I mean, I didn't get the connection, I suppose you meant for some funky, groovy, underlying message in your poem that connects to the picture, but I'm slow with that sort of thing. 
Pretty wicked if I do say so myself.
-Cory
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it should be of course
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