Patriotic Third of July
From homes and barracks dear friends arrived with stories how love survived
descending upon my bar that was, well, closed save to girlfriends advised.
For upon July 3rd, companions breath ignored, now awoke for a toast
asking God and Country to help loved ones to return life most.
I write Sally of free drinks inviting her best friends I think
sitting without noise until big Sally, saying Hello, lowered her glass, clink.
Sally went to my bar's jukebox playing a Beatles tune and danced
with her invisible sweetie alone as if held by remembered magic elegance.
So, one by one each lady stood accepting her beau's invisible hand
as if my bar was a cotillion ballroom with candle lamp band
I sat there in a wonderful chill watching star hearts thaw
Tonight trust dances to peace's tune, knowing brief patriotic songs rub raw.
On July Fourth our flag wags to try both cheers and thrills
truth is a day before, soldier's companions hold you live and real.
by Iohagh
Janet McCall
Author notes
Darlings
Big Sally's husband is a non-com bear of a man as his photo shows but this is to all those whose love is away due to patriotic and familial duty. Smoosh
Janet
Smoosh to all soldiers before I whoosh.
Written July 3rd, 2006
In a list
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Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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what a lovely way to honor their love for spouses gone to war
awsome goodluck in contest -
yes this definitely was a fantastic piece, imaginary is absublutely wonderful, thanks for sharing, keep up the awesome poetry here.
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Janet, this is amazing, I can't find the words to describe the rush of feeling that comes through this, and the instant image of being there, transformed. The real intensity of the responsibilities and burdens of freedom and independence are carried on your words. Great job, bravo. Blessings....
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Not bad. This truly is a real poem. I can see these people chatting and drinking lemonade. How sweet.....
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Darling leo2
That is just so true.
Smoosh
Janet -
If it had not been for men and women who were willing to make such sacrifices there would not be a fourth of July to celebrate. My hats off to them and I salute all those who serve.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
Ooh Darling Cousin,
You have done well here! Most think it is all about the 4th and I agree more women and people with loved ones go to the 3rd to show their love as well! Thanks for sharing, I loved it of course! -
Darling princess
Smoosh before I whoosh
Janet -
Just came home from vacation and my pixie wings are a little droopy, but your great poem perked me up! A fine poem and makes me proud of you!
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First off, I loved your rhyme scheme. I, for one, find it difficult to write AABB in rhyme. So on that, I give you kudos. Addressing the theme, your storyline and setting were beautiful. I love the way you went about writing this. The beautiful scene you laid out was woven with imagery and feeling.
Your rhythm did seem a bit off in a few places but nothing that completely disrupted the flow of the poem.
95/100
Ashleigh <3 -
Great Job!
Wow..this makes you very proud to be a american lol. You did a great job on this sweetheart!! Being Bi and most of my experiences are with women....yes lesbians do have the same experience. When you look into another partners eyes deep down and you want to hold and kiss them no matter if they are male or female that is still love xxoo
Awesome poem hun! -
Darling Gregor Samsa
I hadn't even thought for one moment about spurilous rumors against these women's sexuality or mine for that matter but thank you for the quite beautiful anecdote. Women know we dance with out man when he is not there and to do so together is, well, almost a spiritual experience of love and compassion. Often when I write, I compose from the truth so it never appears to me how others will view it. At the same time, I assume lesbian spouses have the same experience since love is love and unrequited love is unrequited love. Notwithstanding, I give you a smoosh before I whoosh
Janet
Edited on Jul 06, 7:25 because ''. -
I remembered a scene in a play I saw years ago called "Better Times". It was about Poplar in East London, and Susan Lawrence, one of the first woman MPs. Poplar was a very left wing town, and the press ran a slander campaign against them. One journalist wrote a lurid piece about a Saturday night dance in the Town Hall - saying that all he could see was women dancing together, implying that Lesbianism was rampant. Susan Lawrence (who probably was a Lesbian)stood up in Parliament and roared that the women of Poplar had to dance together because so many of their men had ben killed in the war (WW1).
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I cried my eyes out and still do with every read of this poem, this dedication and this love that is shown so fully and completely open. I pray everyday that no one should have to pay such a price for freedom.
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Very cool. I like this alot dear pixie sister.
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the imagery was splendid , i felt as if i too was part of the going ons there ..what picture you paint my dear..well written piece told a story raw , and deeply felt so personable
i can't say enough but i loved it!!
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wonderful write Janet...!
its great to know that even if the darkest of days were upon us.. somewhere in a cosy place women would be together giving eachother support and love...!!!
C ya!
Sue!
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Darling Jeannie D
I was watching TV about the building of the gift of France to America of the Stature of Liberty at its completion in France. Victor Hugo two months before his death looked at it, then at Bartoli, then again at the lady Statue of Liberty before saying this idea, Liberty, will last forever. We women are all that although we forget it more than not. Smoosh
Janet -
Janet, what a wonderful thing to do!! You are such a big hearted and compassionate person. Last night had to have been so touching and rewarding. You did a great thing sweetie. Great poem. Well done. Thanks for sharing. Jeannie
Edited on Jul 31, 10:35 because ''. -
A big Heart and caring and full of life for t
My Beautiful and caring neice your heart is open no matter what or where our boys and girls are to fight for our country. You took the ladies of our boys over there and let them show how much they miss the one they love. You open the door and let your heart show how big and how noble it was to do this for them. You will always hold a love and fullfillment of joy and memories for they found peace with you last night. That is why Iam so proud of you my neice. You show true colors of how big your heart is. Love you much & Smoooooooosh
Your Auntie
Morningstar 1948 -
WONDERFUL
This was wonderful to read. It sounds like you had a wonderful time with your friends. Your contest was awesome. Take care, Sandy
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this is such a sweet piece, but you added elegance to it in away with the dancing. Amazing work! Keep it up!
~sexi.me~ -
I would love to read it Iolagh. Just let me know and again thank you for caring.
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Darling
I salute all you soldier boys. I have a really good poem about a soldier having a drink before being deployed. I'll find it if you like. I am proud of you guys for keeping us free.
Smoosh
Janet -
I only wish that while I was deployed my wife would have know someone like you with such a caring heart. You are a sweetheart. Thanks for sharing.
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Dear Iohagh,
Melt my heart again, (sigh - with dew forming around the eye) May God certainly bring back our men! There is too much love not shared and empty hearts to be filled.
My Love,
Tang -
owwww sounds like fun that you had. This was well done.
Thanks for sharing, keep up the awesome poetry, Happy Forth of july
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I can see you have done a very special day and your friends will be happy to memorie it forever. It was great idea to bring back some old time and to write a new poetry with a perfect rhyme. Your heart and soul are the best I ever knew. I hope your friends one day will do the same for you.
~Sonja~ -
this was touching, that they used imaginations and turned your bar into a grand dancerooms in the arms or good looking imaginary friends. a good write sis, well worded
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That seems like such a lovely day! You did a great thing for Sally and her friends. I can only imagine how tough it is for them to be without their loved ones. Beautiful poem!
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What a wonderful idea. This is a great write and has so much imagery to it. I envisioned every line as I read it. Sounds like it was a lot of fun. Thank you for sharing this.
*Ktulu Blackwolfe* -
Hi Janet. What a lovely day for you and your friends. Good imagery, flow and rhyme. Heartfelt. Endearing expression of emotion in this piece. Such a lovely thing you did for Sally and her friends. Vividly described. A beautiful celebration that you captured so wonderfully in this piece. Smoosh. Sis
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