I'll tell you a story of times long gone by
In the days of 'The year of our lord'
Of a navy press-ganged from the gutters
Serving King and their country abroad
On His Majesties ship The Young Spartan
Time at sea was decidedly tough
Meals were mutton, salt fish and stale biscuit
Though the grog was abundant enough
Aboard ship the crews needs would be many
A mans urges still stirred plain and true
With no maidens or wives and no whoring
Starved of loving, their ardour still grew
It would rise in the loins of old sea dogs
And in BAD mean old salts it was said
Plus the killers and crooks in the rigging
On the ship bound for Spain in the Med
After months and days spent on the briny
The absence of females took hold
Soon attention towards the blonde bo’sun
Caused BIG waves for the young sir so bold
There was evil and dark deeds aplenty
And things you would rather NOT know
But a ships crew could get VERY frisky
On the high seas in times long ago
Some shipmates had vied for the bo'sun
Affectionally known as Georgette
Cos' apart from salt fish and tough mutton
He was ALL the ‘fresh meat' they could get !
Jack the cook (better known as 'Princess')
Made a play for the game pretty boy
And jealousy rose in the quarters
Before the captain could shout " Land ahoy" !
But 'cook' had already ensnared him
With his stuffing and culinary fun
And before ' The Young Spartan' reached harbour
The rump had been MORE than well done !
**********
Author notes
Adult humour - Written July 3rd, 2006
A contest entry
- background's and poems prewrites only by serenity silvermoon.
400 points, ended December 20, 2008, 88 entries
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What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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eeeeeeeeeewwwww!!!!
Now me, in the foc'sle was hidin',
Georgette was jest goin' ta town,
his lungs was like a Nor'easter,
So blow, blow the man down!
Har! Requests permission to "come" aboard sir!
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This was pretty good and I have too admit pretty funny! I was laughing all the way through. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest.
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Excellent Tale of the high sea's. This was very funny and at the same time very eeewwwwww! I did how ever enjoyed the write,and the imagery which can be hard to find in some poems. This was well composed. Thank you for entering the contest.
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Thank you for sharing your talent with us and we are pleased to offer you a hand of friendship from out group. This is a group contest you have entered. If you wish to join, we welcome you. If not, we cannot consider your poem for judging.
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(: Haha, this is awesome! I really enjoyed reading this, keep writing!
You have talent!
x -
I'm not sure if I really liekd this, it was good but not my style i'm sory thank you for the entery and best of luck with your writing! Blessings
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Very Funny
Very well done.
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very cute, very funny and it made me laugh. excellent! thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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The title caught my eye, but who wouldn't it. Great story told here and funny at that. I think this could have used more metaphors though, show us, don't tell us. What a lovely story, makes me wish to be on that ship
Great job on this and good luck in the contest.
josh
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Oh my!
Funny little tale, great job on this! Good imagery and construction.
Bravo!!!
♥ Kate -
Nice and tastefully raunchy
"With no maidens or wives and no whoring" awww... the poor boys! This line made me
the most: "He was ALL the ‘fresh meat' they could get !"
I like the poem, nice and tastfully raunchy. I like your L2/L4 EOL rhyming, and allowing non-rhyme for L1/L3. That gave your poem a looser yet still somewhat structured feel. A smooth presentation of story from beginning to end. It flows well also.
As it is not a limerick chain, however, all I can award you with is some clappy's!
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awh it made me laugh. i love the title that made me laugh first. lol good luck in the next round and congrats on making it this far
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Haha, that's pretty funny, especially the ending. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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GIGGLES...
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Ohhh ouch..lol
love it
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Funny LoL. Ilove it. Well done
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This would have been ...
a finalist for sure, but I've just noticed it's over the 30 line limit. Please fix that or enter a shorter poem.
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LOL ...
this is hilarious.
You are certainly a card.
Thanks for entering. -
Damn this made me laugh.
Great work.
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Still love it
yikes! "saucier" you say... I'd say the cook was in charge of the sauce! Excellent rewrite. I suspect I'm not reading it with the same intonations as you wrote it... in line 26 it rolled off my tongue more happily as "Jack the cook (better known as Princess)" without the "The" - but like I say, that could be my own rhythm not fitting in. Do you read your poems out aloud to yourself to get a sense of the rhythm? Cheers. -
Great poem! Georgette! I should start to call my brother that and see what he thinks! No wonder sailors go mad!
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Far cry from Cooleridge... LOL. I laughed and am still laughing!! HaHa!! Though a little on the smutty side, this is very well written and tastefully done. Love it!!
~I~D~
LisaMarie:
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Man, I laughed so hard when I was reading this, reminds me of a friend I have in the navy. LOL. Why is it that men on a ship, out at sea always seem to to do the damnedest things?? I love the how the cook was nickneamed princess too. Awsome write my friend. Keep it up.
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Carry on sailors!
While I wouldn't fancy being Nancy
This poem is great fun to read through.
Big Jimmy Blake might be hard to take
But one hopes that it really can't be true.
I'm going to keep an eye out for more of your fun poems!
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Great write, thanks bunches for putting this in me contest you scallywag. Now go rape pillage and burn!
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Hey i liked this! Britains history was forged by its navy and not enough people talk about old Nelson etc! I also like the way you mixed the fiction of 'Treasure island and the fact of Nelson a very clever juxtaposition(extra rum rations for you me lad!)
I come from Portsmouth so i seen a few sailors
. Though the world has changed since th 18th century, when maritime Britannia ruled the waves, you still feel the history around here, especially around the old town and docks area. I bet many a old sea dog sharpened his knife on a pilgrims throat in these here parts, ARRRRRRRRR JIM LAD! HA HA HA!
Edited on Jul 08, 12:11 because ''. -
Hi TS,
It seems that you've got Rocky Raccoon obsessiveness disorder!
Honest opinion?
This isn't one of your best.
The flow isn't good in places (EG you need an extra syllable in "Now Big Joe was a sailor" - I would suggest "a jolly OLD Jack Tar")
Just a personal opinion, but I don't like do's and did's in poetry - it's usually a cop out, to better flow, but you don't need it, it might read "could fancy".
Just pedantic suggestions.
How are you, and your Dad?
Robin.
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