I stand
beside the smoothly flowing river
staring at the reflection of the moon
that are rippled
by the gentle movement of the water.
I breathe in
all the creations of the Lord
especially at the creature who I see
across the calm flowing river
lost in her own thoughts
she glistens
with a beauty
that no other creature can emit
that makes the heart of the one
who looks at her...warm.
She looks so charming
that moonlit night
her white silvery skin
makes ones heart
go all gentle and calm
far from melancholy.
The desire to touch her
to feel her body
is overtaken by a sense of sudden shock.
Suddenly no feeling
it all seems wrong
the moon that had been so calm
now it was hiding away
as if she warned
her creatures
that looks so dazzling that night.
I stare so hard
so totally numb
soaked in pespiration
as the silvery blood flowed
calmly into the river
that can turn the mortal
into immortal with ease.
The man steps out
looking at the creature with lust
he touches
the silvery potion of immortality
breathing in a new life
that he would begin soon
not realising the sin
he had just committed
the gentlest creatures
life had been sacrificed
yet he would live
with the blood of his savior
but his life shall be forever incomplete.
Author notes
Killing of the mystical creature...unicorn!!
A contest entry
- Gentle Soothing Fantasy by Tablet Of Essence.
432 points, ended May 14, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THE FAIRY TALE CONTEST by SilentWolf2012.
600 points, ended May 23, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Through your words flows such as is the ways of the heart, whether they be good or not. Each see's something different as good of course but in the same in the end, for it may bring out the same out come. As long as it gets the message across I guess is the needed thing.Words what a world in it's self. Such beauty with just a shape of a pen or in thie case a mouse. What I read in your words is alot of hard work, which I am sure you know that. I got alot of good out of this write. and I would like to thank you so much for posting it in my contest.
Forever;
Etching Letters -
I love unicorns! This piece is definitely unique compared to many others in this contest, thanks for the entry!
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thanks so much kari for the lovely comment and thoses roses as well... lol..and if i am right ur the greatest fan of my best frnd at ap..am i right.. -smiles exposing teeth-
anyways thanks again and tc..
preeti.. -
Wow, I am so at peace with this
This is a beautiful write And the background is perfect with it! Thank you for submitting this, yes it is definetely okay! This is neat, it can either be under your fav. animal or fantasy, how creative ^_^ It's quite lovely =D 
Thank you bunches for entering my contest, and I wish you good luck! - Kerri
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I love unicorns too...and who's to say they don't exist...I mean just because noone has ever seen one don't mean they're not real...this was just beautiful
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Very sweet. I was never much into unicorns myself, but this was a very well written entry! Thanks so much for entering! And good luck!
Amanda -
Merry meet,
Congratulations on winning the Gold. This was a tough competition. This is a beautiful poem. Congratulations again.
Amythest -
thanks
its such a long time I have gotten over rhyme! But rhyme is sometimes very nice when put creatively! thanks for ur comments and glad u like it!
preets
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WOW! This is a real fantasy poem, I love it, and you've proved you don't need rhyme to make a poem good. Well done, I loved it, so, mysterious in a way and kind of moving. Nice one.
good luck in the contest
best wishes as always
xElectricEyezx
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Ok, yeah. That's what I thought at first.. that it was a lady.
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i hope you also have a nice day my good friend! btw the poem is on the site now
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A very thoughtful analysis and u have showcased ur feelings in a nice way! I will look forward to read ur poem my frnd !
thanks and have a nice day!
preets
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existance is a funny thing, you can look at it a few ways. one as something which physically exists such as humans. two something which exist as an idea but not of the physical world such as Son Goku, Jiraiya (of Naruto, the guy my username is based from) superman, you get it. thirdly something which doesnt exist but could exist in some spiritual form as spiritual guardians like dragons, phoenixs and unicorns. things of that realm can't really be disproven. any god would also fit into that category but i am not open to that type of thing although kudos to those who do. i think i believe in spiritual guardians, but my fellings on that will become apparant when i post my new "Summoning of a black phoenix" poem.
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thanks a lot sweet cousin! Yeah if it hadent been for hp..I would never know that these beautiful creatures existed ..lol!
preets take care
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ok lovely aunt I do believe they exist! They are such beautiful creatures ..love to see it sometime ..lol! though in my dreams I see them ..lol! Thanks for dropping by and commenting
ur niece preets
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glad u liked it ! And I sometimes believe that somewhere along this rounded world they do exist
preets
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thanks gullionmar
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I wanted the reader to imagine the sight and decipher who they think it is..one first glance it will be a beautiful woman but with the description of the silver coloured blood..it can only be the unicorn and it is believed that unicorn blood brings immortality! I did try to bring instances where ppl can guess the creature and If they didnt I wrote it in my authores comments! Thats how I wanted it to be ! Glad u didnt know wat I was talking about but I left instances !
Neverthless thanks for the comment ida
preets
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beautiful, i can't really say much more except i agree with the Harry Potter comment, that is a good thing as i am a HP fan
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This piece is really beautiful and packed with imagery. The ending was a bit like the Harry Potter book(Sorcerer's Stone). You have really painted a masterpiece with words. No picture could be so detailed, for one picture is only worth 1,000 words. Keep up the great work and good luck in the contest!
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If not for the background, I would have been a little confused as to what creature you were talking about. Other than that this is very neat! I don't come across many unicorn pieces but I used to obsess over them and draw them all the time.
The silver blood flowing through the ripples of the water was a tragic but beautiful image. Thanks for entering. -
Whatcha mean they don't exist!! Come one niece, if YOU believe, and I believe, then it is so!!!! Great poem. Very well written. Thank you for sharing. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Aunt Jeannie
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very love ly keep up the great writing ,great imagery brouth this to life
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I still like to believe they exist out there somewhere. I really like this there was the twist at first I imagined a woman, I love that the ending has a kick to it
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