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You Whispered My Name (A Ballade)

The deepest of love both our hearts pursue
finding perfect love and learning to share,
exploring the intense feelings that grew.
How quickly we both became so aware
of the passionate fires that burn there
raging with desire out of control.
Tempting each other with erotic flair
you whispered my name, as I screamed your soul.

Possessed by these feelings we can’t subdue,
opening our hearts exposing them bare.
A looking glass both of us fell right through
when the other's heart we chose to ensnare.
A promise made in the dark of night air
as hand in hand down lover's lane we stroll.
Knowing a heart fulfilled will not despair
you whispered my name, as I screamed your soul.

With each embrace we whisper I love you
in your arms forever my love I swear,
content in your love that’s beautifully true.
Softly you run your fingers through my hair
with a tender kiss our love we declare.
Both of us finding a place where we’re whole
because nothing else will ever compare,
you whispered my name, as I screamed your soul.

We always knew just how deeply we care,
tonight we touched each other's heart and stole
depths of this love which we were unaware.
You whispered my name, as I screamed your soul.      

Author notes

Written November 5th, 2001
Option #10
Slipknot

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Bazza
    April 6, 2008

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    A deep betrothal of your love convincingly portrayed forever that is sincere and sweet and I hope remains as you predict. Nicely done.


  • Beret55 silver member
    March 2, 2008

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    Now thats a hard poem to write. Rhyme every other line, without just puting something that rhymes that breaks up the thought. Thats very good. The poem is good too. Verry good, but the way you wrote it, is awesome.


  • Sonofdead
    June 5, 2007

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    This is an AMAZING poem. I wish that I could write something like this, but I can't rhyme worth a damn.

    Possessed by these feelings we can’t subdue,
    opening our hearts exposing them bare.
    A looking glass both us fell right through
    when the others heart we chose to ensnare.
    A promise made in the dark of night air
    as hand in hand down lovers lane we stroll.
    Knowing a heart fulfilled will not despair
    you whispered my name, as I screamed your soul.

    That bit right there was particularally amazing.


  • Ezilana
    November 11, 2006
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    What an amazing line, you gotta love it!
    you whispered my name, as I screamed your soul.
    Wow!


  • Rock-Junkie
    November 4, 2006
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    I like how you used the rhyme scheme. Such as the first line of one stanza corresponded with another first line. great job and I wish all the luck in the contest!


  • blondone
    September 2, 2006
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    oh the deepest of love is in this write great writing thank you for entering and good luck....


  • FlipperSwitch
    August 29, 2006
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    This contains much detail and description, I love the image you set in my mind of two lovers hand in hand. This is a beautiful piece and I think you just might know what the true meaning of love is. Well done, good luck in my contest!


  • Dark Angel Reborn
    August 21, 2006
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    This poem is really well written. You did an excellent job with the imagery. Good luck and thank you for entering my contest!


  • BeautifulBirdie
    August 4, 2006
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    Very beautiful. We wish you the best of luck in our contest.


  • LittleDecoy
    July 22, 2006
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    this was a very beautiful and heartfelt poem!! i loved it.. wonderful job!! thanx 4 entering my contest n good luck!
    ~RacheL~


  • EmsandAbs
    July 7, 2006
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    I loved this
    especially this line

    you whispered my name, as I screamed your soul.

    becuase i feel theres this dept to it that can be taken differently... like in a year i codul read this again and toally take soemthing else form that one line

    beautiful

    thanks for entering


  • Lovely Amaranth
    June 30, 2006
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    Pretty

    Awww, I loved it. So pretty. Especially love how you ended every stanza with the line "you whispered my name, as I screamed your soul." I loved that line. It's beautiful.

  • June-bug
    June 30, 2006
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    Excellent, really enjoyed reading


  • DieForYou
    June 30, 2006
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    loved it.


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    June 30, 2006
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    Very intense and passionate piece. I really loved it.
    I screamed your soul...awesome line..


  • WhatShouldUsBe
    June 30, 2006
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    Beautiful.. i loved it.... In life I have a mission of my own... to find a love like that...again... it is simply beautiful!


  • FaeryPixieFey
    June 30, 2006
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    Great!!

    I personally loved it especially that line-you whispered my name, as I screamed your soul-Just loved it. I would love to be loved back like that. RobinRae.


  • masterblaster gold member
    June 30, 2006
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    Hi last line 1st verse plus the repeats does not work it scans wrong, grammar needs some work on it,the idea is good, think you posted it too quickly without reading it aloud to yourself, would not take long to put right and would be worth doing as it could be a very good poem, all the best, hugs Di

  • gradstudentaz
    June 30, 2006
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    This was very interesting, however I felt that the jumps between cerebral realities (thoughts, conclusions, etc.) and imagery made me wonder whether this was a poem of the mind or the heart. I'd recommend taking all the cerebral thoughts and putting them in one stanza and then moving to the vivid imagery and emotion in another stanza. The progression would strengthen the poem and we could see how you moved from your head to your heart.
    Just a suggestion and you know what to do with free advice! Overall, a good write.
    Thanks,
    Anne


  • ShotgunGoddess
    June 30, 2006
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    amazing

    lets just say I have NEVER realized just how many words rhyme with air....damn....haha, why done and beautifully written.

    Fair Winds,
    Kel


  • needles-and-pins
    June 30, 2006
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    omfg that is sooo georgous...luvin it ALL lol please chek out sum of my poems
    x
    x

  • GoneAway
    June 30, 2006
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    Wow, that was totally amazing. I love the rhyme scheme you used because it sounds so romantic with the words you chose to rhyme, and it is just really beautiful. Keep writing amzing poetry. Maria


  • sans-amour
    June 30, 2006
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    Woah... wonderful imagery, and masterful use of this form. I really like this poem... really well written


    Starlit Kisses

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