She's just a puppet, attached to strings
Dancing around in all your lies
×
The lies that made it to her wrist
She's beautifully soaked in crimson
×
Hiding behind those four walls, attempting to escape from the maddening world past them
Bloody wrists, swollen eyes, is what you left of this poor girl
×
You manipulated her, deceived her, broke her
Look into her eyes, there is nothing but emptiness
×
Look at her wings they are tattered and torn
Her soul is pathetically damaged
×
Nasty wounds cover her arms
Mocking her, as you once did
×
Her emotions are spiraling out of control
Leaving her in a pit of confusion and unbearable misery
×
All her tears obscure her vision
Leaving her lost in this messed up world
×
This crimson puppet will continue to dance on the dance floor of your lies...
Author notes
Hmmm this all came to me. The ending is weak. Anyway tell me what you think please....
Written June 29th, 2006
A contest entry
- Of a bruised heart by FrostBite.
400 points, ended July 11, 2006, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Amazing. I liked the ending actually lol, I think that final line is really creative, it's pure brilliance. The flow in this one was really good and I thought that the idea of her being a puppet and "dancing" in lies was really a creative thought. Something I certainly wouldn't have come up with lol. I really liked this one. *looks at contest page* And they're judging! I wish you all the luck in the world
xJessie
Edited on Jul 05, 11:40 because 'Spelling, as usual'. -
CFO
Dancing in lies of anothers dark dream. Sadly it happens to often. I thank you for your submission, and pray you keep to writing. For love so harms -DAN- -
This was an awsome poem,but very sad well done and keep up the great work!
-
Teehe thanks much. hehe i know i kick a.ss when i want to....
-
Damn, Isa. Sad. Dark. I love it. Why didn't you tell me this is why you kicked me off the computer and took so long?! Great write. Aweosme title. You kick a.ss.
~Cris. -
Thanks for commenting hun! Hell yea I want to hide and get away from most things lately, but I can't. I don't think I can ever escape these demons right now! Thanks again for commenting, you haven't done it in a while.....
Teehe you know who it is....
-
I kinda like it. It's sad though, considering that's how somethings in this poem is true. I know why you would wanna hide. There seems to be a lot of hurtfullness coming and going..(did that make sense?) Anyways I liked the poem.
Keep in touch!
♥:
Jamie
-
Thanks hun for the comment. Yeah, I am planning on fixing it a bit. Ah, It's so good to have you back on, your comments on my works always cheer me up. I'm here for you too Amy, Thanks so much for being there for me, it mean a s.hitload to me. Lol. Ttyl. Much love hun!
You know who it is 
-
amazing
Wow, Isabel. This was beautiful, yet of course, really sad. Ya know I'm always here for ya. Glad you wrote something, cause I always enjoy reading your writes, whether they are sad or not. It really captured my attention from beginning to end, but maybe just fix that last line a teeny bit. But, I mean, it's really a great write. Keep it up hun! Love you always, xx Amy. -
Thanks hun for the awesome comment. No this isnt about me lol. Just something I came up with. Thanks again! ttyl.
Isabel
-
Aww... This was really sad. I loved the lines 'Look at her wings they are tattered and torn
Her soul is pathetically damaged'
Wait theres more...
'Her emotions are spiraling out of control
Leaving her in a pit of confusion and unbearable misery'
Yea.. Those were my favorite lines. They were just soo..depressing...Wow im twisted..Anyways
I hope this isnt about you because its really really sad. I didnt think the ending was weak, but i dont know, sounds a bit unfinished. Maybe its just me.
Well done
x
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
3 old applause
