The human mind
like water,
surges into the river
from a spring of thoughts,
connected to his heart,
his soul
his dreams,
his aspirations,
his motives,
his intentions,
his desires,
his greed.
The pure waters
polluted by toxic flow
of such thoughts
destroy the serenity
of the river –
suffocating life.
Author notes
My philosophy of peace
Written June 29th, 2006
A contest entry
- peace by maa.
333 points, ended July 9, 2006, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Thank you earthstar, I am glad you enjoyed this write.
Love and light,
Lencio -
Thank you Sanya for that wonderful comment.
Love and light,
Lencio -
Thank you Prabhu, hope all is well at your end,
Lencio -
Thank you Jim, my dear me (was this phrase ever there in english literature - my dear me?
) never mind, believe me, I did put its all the way thru, and then read it once, then twice and found it a rather tongue twisting when it came to its aspirations,
its motives,
its intentions, and I believe it was due to the "s" sound. Strange that you had this point this out!!! Hmmm, let me think about it once again Jim.
thanks for the comment and most of all the suggestion, I truly, truly appreciate it.
Love and light,
Lencio
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excellent
shape poems are new to me i like this one it reveals the nature order in human life this is very good humans start out pure and then pollued by hurts and other people toxic flow now we are polluteing our selves and nature. i love nature poems the picture is very good you comments are very good thanks for sharing i enjoyed the poem take care brenda -
I'm glad I caught this one.
Not normally a fan of shape poems your meandering words managed to mirror the rivers flow for me.
The words themselves prompted echoing thoughts within me and I enjoyed the flow throughout.
One crocodile snapping though. The probably unconscious use of the term his for some reason jangled even in my masculine mind. Would the neutral -its- be acceptable?
Whatever your ideas on that, this was a good read and I thank you for it.
Jim -
The pure waters
polluted by toxic flow
of such thoughts
destroy the serenity
of the river –
suffocating life.
so here I can seen the originality of lencio..bravo..my friend...
-
beautiful
This piece has left me speechless. Each line is so deep and meaningful!! The imagery and style of writing is just beautiful.
I simply loved these lines-
The pure waters
polluted by toxic flow
of such thoughts
destroy the serenity
of the river –
suffocating life.
How true they are. We have actually destroyed the serenity in our lives. 'peace' is something we are miles and miles away from. We are truly a polluted river, thats getting dirtier and dirtier with the passage of time.
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Thank You Marion for you heart warming comment.
Lencio -
with such power comes equal responsibility.. we as an unsophisticated species have yet to fully grasp this balance.. beautiful , magical poem that sends this desparately needed message..
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dearest lencio,
what a wonderful combination of image, shape and message in your unique poem. a simple message, simply flowing like the river, reminding us to be aware of polluting thoughts of negativity and the need of letting go and surrender. how many of us are conscious about the power of thought, of its force to destroy and its strength to heal ?
thank you for this precious reminder, lencio.
it is a valuable gift to all.
marion -
Dear Lencio,
I like your poem very much. Picture and poem are in perfect harmony and create a feeling of flow and space in the reader.
With best wishes
Ingrid
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A FINE PIECE FOR A CONTEST CALLED PEACE!
A very fine piece for a contest called PEACE, indeed! GOOD LUCK in the contest (which I may enter myself since peace and love are the major themes in much of my work ) and Thank You so much for featuring this for otherwise I would have sadly missed it today!
Peace & Love!
Earl. -
Brilliant
This is a wonderful write Lencio. Your presentation of this piece is brilliant. I love your concept here, and think that you have executed it perfectly! Well done! ~Cath~ -
Very well written and well laid out, i loved this poem.
It's thoughtful and deep. Thanks for sharing. Best of luck in contest. Angel -
Love the flow of the words on the page. Great job on this. Very thought provoking. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
Jeannie D Hunter
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wow wonderful thoughs of peaceful times with nature,very well written with great imagery pic adds to the delight of the poem
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This is a splendid poem Lencio. Very well done. I like the text, but combined with the form.... A masterpiece! I cannot say anything else. BEAUTIFUL. You are such a great poet.
My compliments dear friend. Good luck in the contest. Anna.
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Thank you Broken Piece,
Love and peace,
Lencio -
Thank you tribe, I am very much touched by your comment.
Be blessed!
Love and peace,
Lencio -
interesting and awesome write.
i hope you win the contest your in.
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Masterpiece!
This masterpiece is an awakening. If we only still our minds, focus on letting go we can flow with the river of destiny.
This poem touches on the busy mind, always thinking and always planning. It is very hard to just sit still and be quiet long enough in this mad paced society. We are bombarded by TV adds, radio, the internet, newspapers, work and much more.
Take some time in your day to sit and be quiet.
This work of art reminds me to do just that! -
I like how this winds serpentine like the river of life; abruptly the flow is cut off, signalling the death of the cycle if pollution isn't addressed and also how you likened all this to the human mind and its need of flow. All the best, ea
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Hi Charishma, thanks for that beautiful comment, yes, more like a longer 'ku isn't it? Hope all is well with you. Thanks once again.
Love and peace,
Lencio
Edited on Jun 29, 3:42 because ''. -
I love the shape this poem has taken on, Lencio Excellent use of metaphor in this poem. A wonderful clean break at the end. If haiku had to have a longer cousin brother, this would be the one
Goodluck in the comp,
Charishma
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O! that was fast! was just trying to get the right shape lol!!! You have made me feel very warm with your wonderful comment. God bless,
Love and peace!
Lencio
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I hope that your philosophy will lead you to the trophy too. Great, interesting work, different and well...perfect choosen different poetic form.
~Sonja~
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