How did I not see through your lies when the
Actual truth isn't hidden in your eyes and
When you say that you're right you know I'm not wrong and
When I try to leave you won't let me move on and
The light dies down and the sun goes away and
I don't want to run but you won't let me stay and
If we fight I lose 'cause I won't hurt you again and
Even though we're friends you still won't let me in and
I can't believe that you'd sink this low but
When you realize your mistake you'll have no place to go and
Just for now I'll pretend I was wrong and
You haven't been breaking my heart all along and
You didn't lie, cheat, or steal and
Your scars on my wrists aren't at all real and
We never argued or yelled when you flipped your lid and
You never hurt me in any way but I know that you did so
I can't pretend that you're not walking away and
That I have absolutely nothing to say except
That you can't tell me anymore that I should go to hell because
We both rose to glory but you're the one who fell so
You can sit on your ass scratching your head but
You're not my trouble anymore, to me you're long dead, and
Maybe once I would've cared, when you were my friend but
That was the beginning and this is the end.
A contest entry
- Take My Breath Away(Anything you Want) by fairytalelovestory.
675 points, ended October 19, 2008, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire me. by Simp.
550 points, ended April 4, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Must Be Crazy -- Prewrites by ladybug..
1000 points, ended June 25, 105 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1000 points, 1000 pws by Shadow Anonymised.
1000 points, ended November 23, 1039 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
I adore the flow of this. It's so continuous, but it comes together wonderfully with the rhyme. Thank you for sharing.
-
Thanks for entering my first contest.
I like your title
I enjoy the first two lines.
I also like these lines, 'Even though we're friends you still won't let me in'
'That you can't tell me anymore that I should go to hell because'
After that line I enjoyed the rest, how it fit together. Nice job
-
Ty for entering and good luck
this is exactly what i wanted -
you're a Great writer and I love this poem of your alots.great writting
-
This is excellent. To just sit and let the rhymes flow from your pencil and have such a beautiful final result is amazing. I love that you captured so many thoughts and so much frustration in one huge run-on sentence. It feels like I just took a peek inside your mind. Great job
-
this is a keeper
good job on your write. i like it a lot. crazy but sometimes we feel like that even if we dont want to. keep up the good work
-
I liked this piece alot...good write.
Soulful Woman -
wow ...this is good, I mean like GOO*D type of good...I really liked it and I love the way it flowed on and on and on...I am going to look at your other work...gotta go see
-
Well Done
This is so good. I love the way it flows and makes so much sense and it's like a rythhmic yet continuous prose. The way it rhymes really conveys the way you can imagine it would be said by a person in that position.
-
hey man i tried to get rid of you but it obviously didn't work lol....haha "you know it's funny," so yeah, oh you can use my real name to, kay, kay thats a strange word, ha bunny a s s, woohoo!! anyway....green's a horney color yah! roses are red, even though there thorney, when i think of you i get....CORNEY!
....(i know what you were thinking!) c ya l8ter BYE
Edited on Jun 29, 10:26 p.m. because ''. -
It was really nice. I liked it. You are amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
this is good. i can almost see it unfolding before my eyes.
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
