And dream of instead falling into your arms.
While your fingers, on my cheek trace
Protective circles, keeping me from harm.
In these wandrings I have found
A safe haven that has become my home.
I no longer am by my inhibitions bound,
And through these thoughts I am free to roam.
But surely enough, the dawn still breaks;
I'm left clinging to the night before.
When the world around me seems to quake
You hold me steady inside my core.
These dreams are nothing but girlish fantasies.
But you are my choir of distant melodies.
Author notes
Okay, this was my first attempt at a sonnet.
I'm relatively happy with it, other than the few adjustments I'm too lazy to make.
I hope you enjoy, constructive criticism is very welcome.
allpoetry.com/Column/1696197 << English (Shakespearean) sonnet form.
Option 1: The Ceiling Could Use Paint
Written June 26th, 2006
A contest entry
- The Ceiling Could Use Paint..... by FlipperSwitch.
450 points, ended November 29, 2006, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1011 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Wow, what a beautiful poem! I think your first attempt at a sonnet was brilliant. I liked the flow and the imagery was just beautiful. Great rhyming too. You really deserve being in the finalists!
Good luck in the contest! =D

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I didn't even notice that this was a sonnet because I was so captivated in reading the poem itself

I could really identify with this one, having one particular person in mind - you could have written it about me.
Not only that, but I loved the ending, "girlish fantasies" - as so many girls will say, ah yes I remember a time of my life when I used to daydream at night, and fall asleep picturing myself in a scenario with that person... etc!
Very well written, I loved it! Thanks for entering
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I appreciate your comment a lot, considering this was my first [and last, lol] attempt at writing a sonnet. And I can't believe I wrote this so long ago! Thanks again.
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Well written
For a first attempt at a sonnet especially this poem shows great thought and feeling. I have never written a sonnet myself- but you've done a really beautiful job here. I can feel your love and longing. Thanks for entering and good luck! -
beautiful I thought this was a great write
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i really enjoyed this a lot. the flow was beautiful and the emotion behind the words was raw. it's got a truth for everyone because i know just about every girl has laid and dreamt of someone they wished they could have or already do have. thanks for entering it. good luck in the contest
-<3 skooter-
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Wow. You're so nice. Lol.
I'm glad you at least halfway enjoyed this one. -
het koodos to you ive never even attempted a sonnet, you have to try everything at leaste once, besides i like it anyways, but im no sonnet master!
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I kind of enjoyed this actually.
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Gah..... You had me from the first two lines. This really is such a gripping piece, Ashleigh. Your imagery is so beautiful; your comparisons and analogies are mind blowing.... Bleh. I know you've done well when I'm not even able to critique properly. This is so beautiful, it really is.
Love it.
And Love you.
&hearts -
Beautiful... I love the rhythmic flow and in my opinion, it is a very lovely "sonnet"
Well done!










