Die today
Live tomorrow
Turn inward
Bound tightly
Denounce love
At all costs
Shun heroism
With a glance
Embrace sorrow
Know it well
Revere it
Bow down
It’s the key
A portal
To the inside
Where truth lay
Show no hope
Wallow in sorrow
Dismiss fantasy
Reality is pain
Sorrow rules supreme
Allowed to fester
Giving greater understanding
Die today to live tomorrow
Author notes
Written June 28th, 2006
A contest entry
- A Contest for a Poem with Four Judges Judging by cvillelisa.
300 points, ended July 16, 2006, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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"Show no hope
Wallow in sorrow
Dismiss fantasy
Reality is pain"
Gosh, this is so true it hurts. We give up today to live fore tomorrow, great job on this one. A winner in my opinion,
jan
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Thanks!
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What goes up... must come down, and if that bitch can't swim ( ya know )
theyz bound to drizzown. Although.......... when you're down you can only look up.
Good things come to those who wait.... as long as you don't lose sight of reality.
DAMN!!!! I should've been a damn psychologist. -
thanks for your critique.
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Hi, Shameless1.
I'm with Desi on the center-justifcation here. It doesn't add to the reading pleasure of this poem - and does make it have some oddly phallic shape. Thank you for entering our contest. I'm sorry the judging is taking so long.
It’s the key
A portal
To the inside
Where truth lay
There seems to be the lines that get best to the quotes inspiration. I think you definitely could fill this out a bit -- the opening lines and title are a bit overly dramatic for my taste. Or if you wanted to trim it you could do something like this:
Turn inward
Bound tightly
Denounce love
At all costs
Shun heroism
With a glance
Embrace sorrow
Know it well
It’s the key
A portal
To the inside
Where truth lay
In any case, thanks again and good luck to you.
Lisa
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lmao....never thought of it like that...guess it does kinda look like a penis shrug..oh well...to each there own...thanks for commenting.
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One of the reasons I don't like poems center justified is because sometimes they end up taking the shape of a penis, which this does. hehe
Anyway, I'm looking for rich imagery in this contest and this poem doesn't deliver the goods for me. It reads like a to do list, an instructional manual so to speak. That doesn't mean it's a bad poem. It just means that I don't think it is right for this contest but I am only 1 of 4 judges and we are independent thinkers so it might work for the others.
What I do like is short abrupt lines that I think would work better posted to the left. It's tight, no wasted words. The only line that bugs me is "wallow in sorrow" I'd toss that one.
Thank you for entering this contest.
Desiree -
Thank you for your comment
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right on
a wonderful poem, how true you are. I especially liked 'shun heroism with a glance' a great thought I shall consider this and the whole poem again with sorrow-ful demeanor.thanks Michael P. -
Thanks for your comment
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Show no hope
Wallow in sorrow
Dismiss fantasy
Reality is pain
i loved this part od the poem well i liked all of it but this part caught my attention for some reason well you did a great piece of writing there its nice work. though it is a true sad against poem but its a great one anyways i enjoyed reading ur poem
loved it!! -
P L O M???
and as far as your question...suicide is a cowards way out..this poem was written for a contest and my interperation of a quote.. -
too much P L O M why not just commit suicide and be done with your suffering
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Hey there,
Nice work on this m'friend. ^^ The picture helps to emphasize the emotion. Then again, that's never been a problem for you, I know ^_^ Another great one, Shameless. Awesome
I'm glad you're not feeling this way as of now anyway. I hope it stays that way. Great work on this poem, keep sharing that talent. (^: Blessed be.
-Ghostly- -
Hey thanks from commenting. No I don't feel that why right now. But I do know what its like to have those feelings. But at this time it was only written for the contest based on what I took from the quote the ask us to interpert.
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This is truly a sad, angsty poem. You have always had a way oif expressing yourself well in this form. I feel such a deep sense of hopelessness and all is lost kind of thing as I read your words here. I do hope this is just for the contest and not how you are really feeling. Great job hun!
♥ Touchof1der
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