i am the slow shift
you feel at night
from that oh so
in control individual
to the child of regrets
you can't seem to ignore
and i am the flower petal
fires that scream within
your skull
i pretend that you must miss me
wrapped in your cocoon
and i imagine i was the first
to find you there
and pull you into the light
for a fleeting moment
too soon forgotten
but you could not forget me
could you? how could you?
when i was the one you loved
but you did forget me or maybe
these memories are shared
i am the subtle secrets
wrapped around your fingers
and hidden beneath your tongue
the things you said the things
you did and what you took away
i am your reminder forever
you will not forget
Author notes
Written March 25th, 2003
What did you think
Comments
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I think this is one of your better ones so far.
It says review critically....but I can't, cause I can't find anything to improve on.
I really liked the first stanza.
Wow. Really strong. -
Damn good poem, comes on strong
and has a message.
I really like the verses:
"i am the subtle secrets
wrapped around your fingers
and hidden beneath your tongue"
That's vivid!
You're a damn good writer, girl
-
great piece. i'm sensing a bit of obsession, which you must know isn't good for you, but what can you do most of the time. quite moving.
-
good
i doubt he will ever forget... once again amazing write! you are such a great poet! this is really well done and i understand what you are saying... he will never forget! i love you!
~BloodFlame
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