Hiya, folks, my name is Ben,
and life has turned to shit again.
All my sorrows, all my woes,
every day the list just grows.
Lost my job the other day,
just what I need, with bills to pay!
Empty pockets, stony broke,
life's sure funny, but where's the joke?
Broken marriage, broken dreams,
I've lost it all and now it seems
there's nothing left for me to do,
and you ask me why I'm feelin' blue?
Ain't no way to scratch this itch--
let me tell ya, life's a bitch.
I got no coffee in the jar,
no gasoline to fill my car.
Around here it's always rainin',
the neighbours never quit complainin';
my mangy dog has picked up fleas,
the fuckin' freezer doesn't freeze.
Life's become just one big trap,
where everything is full of crap.
Still...ain't no use to swear and curse,
life is shit--but it could be worse!
Author notes
Written June 26th, 2006
A contest entry
- Cheer Me Up by Mad As Rabbits.
300 points, ended July 5, 2006, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Help me Break out of my Box. by GC De Piazzi.
700 points, ended March 15, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's Impossible by magdelene.
1000 points, ended January 9, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME (Now 20,000+) Part 7 Humour by cricketjeff.
1250 points, ended January 15, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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I so enjoy your bent sense of humor, Bill. I once saw a photograph of Willie Nelson wearing a T-shirt that said "Life's a bitch and then you die. Have a nice day." 
Good one, my Friend. 
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Thanks for the smile Bill, join us in the next one.
Sue and Jeff -
Mr. O'Reilly: Just remember Mr. Fawlty, there's always somebody worse off than yourself. [points back at himself]
Basil: Is there? Well I'd like to meet him. I could do with a laugh.
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Now this poem of yours is really fun
I read it out to everyone
We all agreed it is just great
And if you're the winner, good on yer mate
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LOL! Nice little piece here, Bill. I can just hear the narrator going on and on about how horrible everything is and then suddenly smiling with joy at the end.
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haha, for sure for sure. thanks for the little pick-me-up and good luck in the contest.
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great
oh, mam that was good. the rymming worked so well with everything. It stays to the point and on top of that it ends on a good note
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Yeah, you have to laugh otherwise you just cry your life away. Brought a smile just reading it, enjoyed the rhyme.
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i luved it!!!. lifez a bitch.. lifes a whore.. but hey were still here livin everday 4 sumthing more....... keep writing.. keep expressing.. have no negative comments.. which happens NEVER.. so lol b happpy... DANCE MY PAIN AWAY CUZ I GOT PROBLEMS!!!.. i really did like it!!!!
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Thanks, Thorin--your comments are appreciated.
Cheers,
Bill -
This is very nice and uplifting! I particularly liked the last two lines...so true, so true. Honestly, I have no suggestions for this poem. It's basically perfect the way it is. Keep up the great work!
-Thorin -
Thanks, Quill, for reading and commenting, and for wishing me good luck.
Cheers,
Bill -
quite brilliant , good luck in the contest
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Hey thanks, Lori, glad you enjoyed and I appreciate your comments.
Cheers,
Bill
Edited on Jun 28, 3:44 p.m. because ''. -
Perfect
This is totally perfect!! You gave me a big smile with this piece!! Well written!!
~*Lori*~ -
Thanks, blueyez, for responding to this one--yeah,life's a bitch, but it has its moments!
Nil desperandum,
Bill -
aaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha I love this. I can so relate life is a bitch and where is the damn joke? I too am divorced and broke so I feel ya! Life goes on whether we like it or not huh?
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Hi, janet mary. Thanks for your encouragement and I hope I've made you cry with laughter, not sadness!
Best wishes,
Bill
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Many thanks for commenting--let's hope the host likes it too!
All the best,
Bill -
Thank you, john, for your kind comments--glad you like.
Cheers,
Bill -
this shouldnt be funny but it is...Its hilarious. you make me cry....
look what bad bills done to me....
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Recluse (may I call you Linda?), contemplating one's belly-button is often rewarding--there's all kinds of interesting fluff in there!
Cheers,
Bill -
Yeah right, I'm so far down the tubes now I can't think beyond
'why did God give me a belly button'
contemplating navel forever now...
Linda
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Thanks, Recluse, for your kind words--sorry I beat you to the punch, but I'm sure you'll come up with something as good, if not better.
Cheers,
Bill -
Now life really is a bitch!! Read the contest and bells rang
with a great idea....what did I do??? Read your entry before tackling a write... Woe is me
... you got there first without leaving me squat to whinge about (pfft) life really does suck, but not so much that a great poem cannot be appreciated. Still laughing about your poor dog...least the fleas won't be hard to find
Thanks for the crack up and good luck with the ice cubes.
Recluse Writer
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LoL
Thats super funny super true and super awesome great job i hope the host enjoys it good luck -
Nice job BIll! I really hope this brings at least a satisfied smirk to the host's face! good rhyme and take on the topic! be well, and thanks for sharing! john
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