I should of seen it coming
My friends kept on warning
That you'd love and leave me
I thought it couldn't be
You didn't care that i was young
We had our time and it was fun
You took my heart and my soul
For the first time i felt whole
After so much heartbreak
You were just what i needed
How long did it take
To make me fall in love with you
I cherished every moment
From our first to last kiss
But you wanted so much
Was i just another miss
After our perfect day
We went our different ways
Morning after i got a text
You found a girl to be next
Pints of beer and cigarettes
Broken hearts but few regrets
Why did i fall in love so fast
I guess i hoped it would last
After so much heartbreak
You were just what i needed
How long did it take
To make me fall in love with you
I cherished every moment
From our first to last kiss
Bu you wanted so much
Was i just another miss
Another,another
It sorta makes you wonder
Another,Another
Was i just another miss
Author notes
This is my questionnare answers
15
Liverpool,England
Music (Rock & Metal),Dancing,Acting,Writing songs,Singing
I prefere songs to poems.My favorite one at the moment is 'The Cage' by 'HIM'
I have one silver trophy
I've entered a lot of contests before but the bst i've done is econd place for one of them
I fell in love recently and now i understand love songs i can write them better.This conesrt appealed to me because of that
This song is about my first true love,what happened,how it ended and how i was left afterwards.
A trophy and loads of points,lol.No i'd like to get mre experience and to meet others who have similar intersts and have been in similar experences
I hope you like my song,it's one of my best.But if you don't like it it's OK
It's a song of a girls first true love and how it changes her to become stronger and smarter in general
I'm sorry to say it's option 3.I wanted to enter this particular song and it didn't fit in any other options
Written June 26th, 2006
A contest entry
- --Bitten-By-Love--'s First Spectacular Contest! Do You Accept The Challenge?!? by --Bitten-By-Love--.
300 points, ended July 31, 2006, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How does "First Love" feel like by cali951.
335 points, ended May 27, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love u (7 options) by DestinyGets-Nervous.
400 points, ended May 31, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - tell me your story by idontno.
300 points, ended July 3, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - love= Heartbreak by Hearts.That.Bleed.
375 points, ended July 1, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I Loved This Poem
the words and thoughts you speak of in this poem ring so true to all the women who have gone through this. To love someone so much and yet have them not return the love to you but to another is something no one should have to go through. Thabk you for entering itinto my contest and goodluck
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i loved it
sometimes i guess when you have found that perfect person for you it turns out that your not perfect for them. perfection is sometimes hard to find and hard to grasp once found. keep on looking for that perfect person, and once you find that person, im sure you'll be able to hold on.
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Overall it is a good poem/lyrics, and most of the rhyming doesn't seem forced. Line 1 & 2 don't really rhyme all that wwell but you get the point across very well. It gives a hint of foreshadowing and then gives hope, like it is preparing you for the letdown.
"Pints of beer and cigarettes,
Broken hearts but few regrets"
I don't know what it is, but those lines are very powerful. Keep up the good work! Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest!
-Destiny -
nice poeem good job and good luck in my contest
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Aww thats sad i wish i could help...great write
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Sorry my darling however...
I think this is a fine poem and I only wish it related to the contest Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry. Best of luck in your other endeavors. -
Okies, thank you for finally following my rules!
!
Now onto your poem.
Lets do the bads to get them out of the way. The first thing I noticed when reading through was the fact you have a few typos and spelling mistakes such as "Fromour, friends, ciggerettes, guss, cherised" This is obviously a mistake, but I'm sure you will learn to use spell check. Another point is the "another miss" Is this like another miss as in girlfriend/girl to add to the list. Or a miss as in not a target? That part wasn't clear.
Now to the goods. I felt this poem flowed well in most parts and the topic was a good choice. You havn't used any metaphors or imagary in which I notice but that's just different preferances. I also loved parts like "Broken hearts but few regrets" Because this is true, it reminds me of one of my poems because I write about how he broke my heart and the hurt then at the end say I don't regret it and it was worth it. So that part was good. Another I liked was "Why did i fall in love so fast, I guss i hoped it would last" Because we feel this at the end, then the next relationship comes and we think it'll last but rarely does young love last. Parts worked well in this others lacked. You knew what you were writing and I felt you knew the topic well because of some thoughts put into it are my feelings too, so are understandable, this is an easy poem to relate to by many. But overall good poem! And good luck in my contest!
Questionnaire - Another artsy person from the singing, acting, writing area. Your obviously a musical person from writing lyrics and music. Do you actually play/sing this? Sorry your first love was a bit messy, but theres plenty more out there to love!
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Thanks for entering!
Bitten
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1- Please put the option you chose in your author's comments. This is very important.
I regret to inform you that you have ignored my first and most important rule. You se, it is important because without it I have no way of knowing what option you entered for. You might think it is obvious, but I certainly do not. Feel free to edit your notes if you wish, so that it tells me this vital piece of information.
Until then,
~FD
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