Wise temperance of the stomach is a door to all the virtues. Restrain the stomach, and you will enter Paradise. But if you please and pamper your stomach, you will hurl yourself over the precipice of bodily impurity, into the fire of wrath and fury, you will coarsen and darken your mind, and in this way you will ruin your powers of attention and self-control, your sobriety and vigilance. -- Bishop Ignatius Brianchaninov
it's in the crochet
of night when
he's at his worst
understand,
it's his scent
that makes
my mouth water
aroma velcros
his progeny
beneath my arms,
and saddle-bags my hips
spice-trails seep through
the holes of temperance
and control
his saccharine comfort
is the burlesque of a man's
blue-balled dream
or the tap of a woman's
"g" with five time satisfaction
deadly is sin's
third son
he wakes me
and coerces
a quiet
slip downstairs
to pillage the sanctity
of double-dutch fudge's
no brainer
plunder the purity
of boston creme's circled
and dumped
promises
yet, gluttony
never once
mentions
-- this immorality against
myself --
in hell,
I'd be force-fed
rats, toads, and snakes
Author notes
Gluttony is third of the seven deadly sins.
Whether you believe in that or not, this is what it's considered.
Oh, and, I'm always editing
Written June 25th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- gluttony by Cat.
350 points, ended July 3, 2006, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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this is absolutely fabulous- wow-
thank you so much for entering the contest.
m -
This is a powerful write, Dee - from the quote at the top to the force-feeding at the end. A poem that makes one think and a wonderfully fresh and creative look on the deadly sin of gluttony. It always makes me think of those old English movies and of vikings and such, lol! Aaaah, temptation is so sweet but the saddle bags not. Great poetry!
~ Nicolette
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This is a really strong write, there were many wonderful lines... I especially liked:
"his saccharine comfort
is the burlesque of a man's
blue-balled dream"
Great entry, thanks for joining us in the contest.
al -
Antonio Banderas! I would much rather picture him in the buff! Keep boston creme and double dutch! Gluttony can't touch him!
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Brava!
Dear Simp, What a nerve you hit here! You words were like a chain letter... hated and to be passed on and shared. Oh, oh, 10:00 p.m. cravings. Picture Antonio Bandaras and a double dutch Boston Creme hell... now chose wisely! Jane -
Thanks for the spelling error and no I meant with five time satisfaction.
Glad you enjoyed the read. -
you misspelled pillage i do believe ...does it really have an extra i? hold let me doub.le check on the dictionary on that...it just looked funny to me for some reason..I could be wrong...then I also noticed that you said "or the tap of a woman's
"g" with five time satisfaction" Did you mean 'with five times the satisfaction' I just think that would sound more correct. I loved the poem though and only saw a little work to be done. Outstanding!
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Very good
Clever poem--original and captivating.
Cheers,
Bill -
ass kickin
yea.......i like it!! -
All righty then...what microcosm of irony is this LOL
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Absolutely. This sin tastes so sweet and is hard to resist. Thanks so much for reading.
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Thanks so much for the wonderful compliment. I'm glad you enjoyed the read.
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Oh thank you for the wonderful compliment. I love using metaphors through out my poetry. It's like a word puzzle, some people get it, some don't. I am pleased as punch you got it
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This was amazing, pushed the reader like someone fighting against the compulsion to raid the refrigerator at night, showed the conflict and the delicious descriptions of flavors are sensual themselves. Maybe that's why it's a sin? Leads us to wanting all the forbidden pleasures?
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Your carefully chosen words painted a picture as I read your poetic work of art. Well, done and thank you for sharing. Keep up the great work. Best of wishes to you. good luck in all that you do....peace always in all ways. You rock....
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this made me smile through out the thing. I caught on very quickly and being a slight glutton myself, i couldn't help but love this!!! the word choice was worded genius!!! The message was there but shaded in wonderful phrasings and images.
"his saccharine comfort
is the burlesque of a man's
blue-balled dream"
HA!!! keep it coming!!!
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I liked the idea of the crochet. And oh the velcro. You have budding talent with the way in which you compare thoughts with various everyday objects. Continue to develop that further. Good job.
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