Cut your hair off,
Set free bashful secrets,
Unborn fantasies,
Spit some faces and recreate history.
Frigid combinations fit inside
Low-rated books,
Writers with liquid intelligence
Are raped by plastic applause.
Unchain your clothes
Filled with nameless identities
And stand up,naked
Beside your own reflection.
A contest entry
- uhhh... by View From the Top.
300 points, ended August 9, 2006, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Cries of Society by bloved.
450 points, ended July 11, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is intersting...
I love the line..."Are raped by plastic applause."
Thats was really a powerful line...kinda sums up the whole poem....anways I like this
Thanks for entering
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poking...
MissStranger (hardened as identity on the internet?),
"Naked" rekindles not rebelliousness, it seems, as started statements can go when blowing without the skull and all to look at who's doing so... so satiricaly, evidently :
"Cut your hair off,
Set free bashful secrets,
Unborn fantasies,
Spit some faces and recreate history."
Tearing away from accountability, invention may be tried without patents in a mirage of own action mixes to be taken without conventionalities with extremes of distinctions shed when there isn't even the silouette whetting the appetite sometimes, transmogrifying hair cyber, apparently.
It has a thought of not thinking anything but heart but then that can be 'treacherous' as detections on deceptions are picked up.
The middle stanza opening is with adjectives that that don't essily set it as well as the remaining demonstratives about doodles being turned in. The attack of an audience molded on to any 'ol day ca be remove one from relationships of true readership, seized away :
"Writers with liquid intelligence
Are raped by plastic applause"
it seems as slots are filled in.
The boldness can be silly, when allowed mesmerization over what is thought about'me' anonymously has to maybe modify the smile "Beside your own reflection."
It's exploring, imploring for others to. -
There is something very powerful about this piece. You have some great lines in here! Nice work and best of luck!
- Dani -
"Raped by plastic applause" did it for me. Great poem with a clear message.
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luv the description!
"raped by plastic applause."
the combination of simple commands
"cut your hair off"
"stand up, naked"
and the more abstract, creative, detailed descriptions is wonderful.
dont think i fully got this poem... but the last stanza is so powerful, so fresh... its beautiful.
seems to be kind of a call to throw away pretentions and
"nameless identities" and be willing to be vulnerable and authentic.
it felt to me like u were trying a bit too hard in the second stanza, with all the metaphors and images thrown around. but maybe thats partially intentional, exactly that cold distance and clever flashiness of the writers ur describing.
but i felt the constant imagery and modifiers was a bit much. while by themselves clever and creative...think it still weighsdown the piece a lot, even as "frigid combinations" u are deprecating.
"bashful secrets" and
"unborn fantasies"
struck me as kind of floaty and trite...
still, beautiful job with this and such truth and power in the ending. u use language wonderfully!
Edited on Jul 10, 4:48 p.m. because ''. -
WOW....AWESOME I really liked it. Hope you get it published somewhere!
Huggles. -
This was a great write (bit cold to get naked down here though at the moment.) But this was easy to read kind of like a poem about being reborn.
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Outstanding
I really like the freedom in this poem. It is almost as if you give us freedom - clothes are "unchained" I think there is a lot of the essence of creativity in this, we stand naked in front of the world when we write. The images in this poem call out to freedom and are impossible to ignore.
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