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no leaves for fall

lighting struck me
that is how I got this way
now I can't grow leaves

Author notes


Written June 23rd, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Tishu
    June 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    There is the possibility of a very strong haiku image here Elenore, however, I felt that the picture carries more weight than the poem.
    Without the picture it would have been difficult for the reader to envisage the starkness - as the poem tells rather than shows.
    Perhaps without the picture and an image in L2 will enable the poem to paint the picture.

  • john-bravo11111
    June 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this poem shows that mother nature is alive, great haiku. keep up the good work..


  • azure85 gold member
    June 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, the sadness of the tree is revealed through your haiku. You bring out the voice of the tree very clearly, Elenore. Very nicely done.
    Good luck in the contest!