Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Betrayal

Crumbling soul
Trapped by false accusations
For when will you learn?
You cause more damage than you know
Friendship ripped in two
Love turns to hate
So go slit your wrists
Liar! Liar!
Shouting
Screaming
Bleeding inside
Betrayal flows from my veins
You do not know the pain created
You cover up my torment
With unwanted lies
Building up hope
But crashes down
Like waves on rocks
I swear on everyone
Everything I know
That you are in the wrong
Good luck with your future

Author notes


Written June 22nd, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • NickelleteXninja
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow I can relate. When I was in that horrible state I used to ease my betrayle of friends by doing thaty

    well done


  • Tainted Innocence
    June 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is an interesting piece. Not really my style, though...but it was well done, nonetheless :-) Thank you for entering!


  • scintillescence
    June 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very good job here. Usually when someone writes a poem when they're mad or about being mad it doesn't turn out well because they're blinded by anger, but that's certainly not the case here. You kept your words in control and let your rage at the betrayal loose at the same time, quite an accomplishment!
    Best of luck in the contest!
    ~Becky


  • Tali28
    June 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Powerful words. It's hard to forgive someone who has betrayed us. I'm glad you ended the way you did. Great poem. Very emotional. Keep up the good work. Good luck in the contest. ttyl Tali


  • LonesomeAngel
    June 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very powerful write full to the brim with raw unbridled hate/despise. Awesome write, i really enjoyed reading you piece. keep on penning and best of lluck in my contest.
    night owl
    p.s love your name, very original.


  • PouringRain
    June 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh m y God, this is so cool, you just get better and better! I sure as hell wouldn't want you to hate me . . . lol It's so strong and powerful. Really good job. Well Done Amber x x x

1 - 6 of 6