Oh father,you are the missing piece.
My life is moving forward without you
I find myself taking a step without asking you
It is so hard for me to find your piece.
What were you thinking leaving me alone?
Were you sure i could make it through?
Without you days look gray,like dust.
The sun is less bright,less bright than your eyes.
"You have the eyes of your father",they say.
That's all i have from you dad.
Since you've been gone,winter stayed
It's cold every day and every night.
Smoke is rising from the ashes
Hope is rising from the tomb
for everyone except your daughter
she lives in a prison,no escape for her.
Oh father,your absence is unbearable
you seem forgotten by all,but not by me.
I didn't keep my promise to you though,have i?
I haven't visited you for months.
But i am waiting for your visit in vain.
The hours of waiting are so long
my mind is empty,my body is numb
you never seem to appear
you are always absent.
Author notes
It's about my father,he died years ago.It might seem like i am accusing him in some parts of the poem.But truth is that i really loved him and i really miss him.
Written June 22nd, 2006
A contest entry
- 2006 Prewrites by Virgoan.
500 points, ended October 7, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONSSS :D :D [pws accepted] by LeilaJayne.
425 points, ended December 28, 2007, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Oh.. this is such a sad poem. It makes my heart heavy. It reminds me of the times when my dad was away.. after I moved from Sweden to Estonia my dad stayed in Sweden and then went to England. I saw him very rarely and whenever I saw daughters with their dads I wanted to cry. I was very depressed back then (in 6th grade) and even got ill.
This line caught my attention immediately "Oh father,you are the missing piece." It sounds so good, so longing and sad.
Btw, "I found myself TAKING" would sound better. Don't worry about blaming him in the poem in some lines, I know you loved him much. My parents are divorced now and I sometimes blame my dad too altho I love him very much and dont mean to be like that.
I think it's also good that you wrote a poem about him, poems are good for getting things off your chest. The ending sounds quite depressive.. but I think you will meet your dad once again in the afterlife or something.
*hugs*
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This is my first time to read this poem. I will be re-reading all the entries like I usually do.
Initial score = 8.5
Thanks for sharing and keep on writing my friend.
VIRGOAN -
Emotionally satisfying
Hey Anna! It's Cody. I liked this one a lot! It's almost the same thing with me and my mother, she left when I was 4 and I used to visit her, in the new state she lives in. But she has a new life and a new child and it's just so hard. Great job. -
this is awesome...made me wistful almost.
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Thank you very much black-goddess!Glad you liked it
I was very emotional when i wrote it.
I'm sorry you never met your dad...It's wonderful to have a father in your life,i know i miss mine. -
oh my god! i love it so much emotion i never meet my dad and they say i have my fathers eyes well i love this write it wasw a joy to read!!
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