My heart echoes’ with grief for there are no more words of comfort; it is all a shallow hole, a thick cloud, that’s never been touched by the sun’s ray. My heart lets out great sighs as the tears flow out freely, the pains and the heartaches continue as my world of joy shatters like a fiber glass. Somehow, I wish I could fix the puzzle, a puzzle that is missing all the essential pieces. But nothing in life is guaranteed; therefore, I have to accept the bitterness of your absence. As I sit here recalling all the sweet times we spent and had together, oh God, was I filled with joy. I now feel such ache for my heart is drowning in a pool filled up with acid. Sorrow of pains invade my belief, in my dreams, I see haunted images. I am bleeding inside, my soul is fading, I am helpless, hopeless without the power to stop the tortures.
The emptiness creeps inside of my soul; it creates a huge gap that can never be filled. It is a void, a void of your absence. As I crumble like chalks on a board; I become so weak. Like a wave battering upon a sharp cliff, my soul shatters in disbelief. I remember how I felt the first time I met you, the day I saw your face, my heart skipped beats. I was so afraid and scared, I did not know how to open my mouth and say the first word. All I did was given you a smile, a pure smile, you looked back at me and smiled back. Right at that moment, I felt so warm; I was charmed and embraced by your love. It was the sweetest thing I have ever witnessed. Oh God, I did not know where to put myself, I was lost in your beauty. All of my life I believed that angels were a myth until the day I met you. I was in a supreme state where my dreams had finally come true. I watched you sleep so peacefully, my heart tenderly kissed you without physically touched you. Oh man, I traveled all the way to the moon; each time I heard your voice, the warmth in me grew.
I sit here alone with a glacier of pain that cannot defrost. Each tear drop that falls soon turns to ice; my world is not the same. I am miserable without justice. I feel like a dead coarpse, my life is dark and senseless, no flavor or color. My days are no longer filled with mirth; I wish I had died at birth. I cry in silence, my eyes are dried, your memories are flashing in front of me, my vision becomes a nightmare, each time I think about all the good and great things we had and how they all suddenly fall apart, I wish I had died and die again. I honestly feel like a disease, it kills me even more to know how far we are separated. Two people who were united and happy, now we are like strangers at an uncommon street. I used to watched you sleep, inhaled your love, touched your beauty and now, I am like smoke coming out of a chimney that continue to pollute you. I am profoundly hurt and in pain. The pain that I endure has no cure. I’m fighting without hope like a patient in a coma. Oh my sweet, I miss you terribly.
I shall be strong, a melancholy pleasure, in suffering what you yourself can hardly conceive-- for you will never know how hard it has been. Lifeless indeed, unpleasant it is my dear, nothing is more sorrowful than watching my hope falls down and crashes like the tears from the heavenly sky. Today the sun doesn't rise, life is pitch black, my heart is cold and stern. I give to you all I have here on earth and in refrain, I'd give to you all again. God knows, all I ever wanted is you. I may be incompetent in many things, but when it comes to you, I devote my heart to fully love you here and beyond. I've given you the most of my sacred affection. God knows that I wish you well. I hope you find blessings where most people seek and don't find.
For pity sake's, let me not drift into silent sleep, pay kind regard to my confession; God knows heaven cannot avail me justice if you don't. Throughout faults and deceptions, I never cease to rehearse how I feel. If I brutally express myself, I apologize. Not of that I'd ever want to convey my sentiments in such a sleazy way and make it so hard on you that you have to find solace in your heart for me. Today, as I delve deep into our situation, I realize, I ought to wave the white flag and surrender. But what justice would I find when my hidden longings lie in your sanctuary. If my words do not echo loud enough, forgive me darling, Im drowning in silent sleep.
A contest entry
- OPTIONS COME LOOK SEE WHAT YOU LIKE by lesbian-in-love.
635 points, ended November 20, 2007, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Missing You by TheStupidLamb.
900 points, ended December 2, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How Much Do You Love Me? by UnManned4Ever.
1000 points, ended April 4, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Miss You Terribly. by Poetryintheblood.
450 points, ended May 16, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Release Me by sensualbutterfly.
300 points, ended July 28, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Feel! by Walking Oxymoron.
450 points, ended September 30, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 55 of 55
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wow
good write!
and good luck
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Lovely write,
long
but good overall
thanks for entering
good luck -
That is some serious amount of love tehre...
I like the imagery you used after the break up- the I inhaled your beauty...
The idea of being so close, such a part of somebody then suddenly like strangers.
It's weird how that works. How can you be so close to someone for so long, then no longer know them?
Life is strange... -
This is WAY too long and off topic.
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Thank you for entering
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I'm sorry but you have been disqualified. this is more than 40 lines. beaultifully written though.
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I am completely at a loss for words. Absolutely heart wrenching. Thank you for entering
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Thank you for your beautifully heartfelt entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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Speechless
Wow, I was captured by the feel of grief in you heart. It honestly made me breathless. I have read a lot of your poems you submitted to this contest and I have to say you are one amazing poet. The level of emotion you portray in your poems is just mesmerizing. This one in particular I love that it’s more about a love that was lost and the emotion from the other side of the spectrum. Though it sounds like you’re not with this person anymore and the contest was for couples. But please don’t get me wrong here again you are more amazing then I can say in words!
Good luck in the contest and I wish you the best!
Another great write!
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Beautiful! It was an attention getter and a crowd pleaser. My question is: Is this person dead or not with you anymore, or what is the story? Please reply so that I will know how to judge it. Good luck in the contest
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Wow Mack you sure can potray you feelings well. Great job write on.
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Thanks for your entry and good luck!
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I loved it. Very emotional. I loved how all the words seemed interconnected. Very beautifully done. Thanks for entering such a fine piece of work. Good luck to you in the contest.
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this has a lot of emotion--something i really enjoy feeling when i read something
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beautiful work
this poem clearly had alot of work put into it. it flowed beautifully and the language used was excellentx very nice work and good luck -
A mixed array of emotions, woven with a desperate longing to have this love again, to fix what has been wronged. Love is a two way street, sad thing is; sometimes we never pass again. Thank you for your entry!
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There's a lot of emotions spilled out here, but the one thing I 'feel' is most expressed is deep regret. I found the spelling and grammar a bit distracting, but it moved pretty well. I didn't find this particularly poetic, especially since it is letter form 'prose', but you have some rich imagery and evocative phrases throughout...the 'glacier' image is the strongest in the entire piece, rang with the most honesty for me. I didn't get the last image, 'faint less screams'...sort of left me hanging at the end there wondering what it meant and I lost some of the power of the previous images. Overall, a good write. And since your author note states it is a true life experience, I am sorry to seem so aloof... I truly hope the relationship can heal in a way that brings both of you some peace. Blessings to you, Rhonda
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Your emotion does just pour out but I think it would be improved by some heavy, if judicious cutting. You've repeated yourself many times over and, honestly, if I were a girlfriend that you'd hurt and you sent me such a long, repetitious letter, I'd probably just crumple it up and throw it away. (Not meaning that that's its value, just that that's what my reaction would be to something so long.)
Your love for this girl is evident and, really, don't you want that to shine out to her more than how much you're hurting (you talked about your pain and sorrow a lot)? If you hurt her, she might be just a teeny bit glad that you're hurting, too! I would think it would be more advantageous to your cause to emphasize your sorrow at what you did (rather than feeling sorry for yourself) and how very much you love her.
Just my thoughts. Celtic Queen -
good
this is very well written, i like how you talk through your emotions however you need to spell check, some of the lines dont make sense and they loose their edge and emotion, but i am sure its just through spelling errors and lack of punctuation!
some beautiful lines and expressive feelings i do like this, your writing is simple and straight to the point! well done xx c
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As I wipe my tears away,just let me say that this is absolutly wonderful.
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HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!
This was i long ass poem obviously lol but it was beautiful written well done! thanks for the entry. -
Wow. This is a beautiful poem. Its just a great write. Good job .
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Wow, you have just chilled me to my core. (And I always believed that was just a cliche.) Have you ever read something that has made you feel about 3 inches tall? Made you feel, happy, sad, completely overwhelmed? I only wish it was meant for me!! a wonderful write.
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wow, very nice.
thanks for entering! and good luck =] -
Good job. This poem is really deep, and very good. Good luck in the contest
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this poem is so heart felling tht the pain and truth is written in every line of this and I am sorry for the hurt you are feeling for I surely understand pain and lost from words that hurt
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wow, i love this letter you have written. the imagery is strong and present everywhere, such as the line "my heart is drowning in a pool filled up with acid" or "today the sun doesn't rise, life is pitch black, my heart is cold and stern"
the 2nd paragraph is my favorite because i can relate to it so well, and i bet many others can too. especially the line "all of my life i believed that angels were a myth until the day i met you" it's very tender and sweet.
the ending is good, sort of meloncholy and a let down, which i suppose, is how most real stories end. this is a very good piece.
cassidy -
This was extremely well done. It showed all of your emotion and it told a great story. It shows how much you cared for her and I can relate, which is what I enjoy about things people write. Great job.
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this really good very deep and emotional wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!
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thanx and good luck
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This is just great.Great Piece.I enjoyed it a lot.
~Tia~
GOD BLESS
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Man...this really hurt me to read (in a good way). It is just so sad and there is so much emotion. I know exactly where you are coming from, sometimes it seems like you are doing nothing but loving a person but in the end they think you are doing more harm. Love can be a real burden, but in the end someone with as much talent and passion as you will succeed thank you for expressing in this contest. Good luck.
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I don't know why I thought you hadn't entered this yet. I was about to send you this link...silly me. "Like a wave battering upon a sharp cliff, my soul shatters in disbelief." You did it again. Beautiful love letter although sad. I wish you all the best in the contest! This is your field.
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the words are beautiful and I can feel the agony, I'm sorry that you feel such pain
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sad and very touching,
i hope she responds to you in a positive manner.
great expressions,heart melting
great write
god bless you
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This is terribly sad. I love this line: "All my life I believed that angels were a myth until the day I met you." It certainly rings true throughout your entire letter. I'm sure this must be true for it breaks the reader's heart. I am sorry that you must deal with this pain and that your mistakes hurt the one you love. I do hope you will find self forgiveness so that you can go on in life without the guilt you seem to carry with you. A truly lovely letter. Good luck to you in the contest. Hugs, Patricia
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wow. this is so sad and so full of raw emotion. it makes me feel like i am either her or you. the pain... wow is all i can say on this poem.
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Absolutely lovely. A wonderland of clever imagery, allusion, and metaphor, with amazing depth and feeling.
Thanks so much for entering my contest. Best of luck to you. -
i really love the glacier/ice metaphor in the third paragraph, and you`re descriptions are very vague. the first paragraph though, really hit home for me.
thanks for entering!
♥in s a t ia b le
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Wow. This actually made me cry. Great job.
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Great!
I agree this is a wonderful piece filled with pure emotions and sincerity. I really liked it! Thanks so much for entering my contest and good luck! Keep up the great work! I'll be around to read and comment more on your poems. So take care, byebye!
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you just slapped me in the face, 8 times, and very hard. i know EXACTLY how this feels, and i'm not lying. i like to say i no longer feel emotion, and i don't to a certain extent, but somewhere deep within me there's still a little bit left, and this is what it is. i combat it with hate and rage, which does nothing but devoid me of my emotions further. DON'T let this happen to you.
very well written piece. applause! -
Certainly well written, just find this paragraph style prose form less like poetry. Great metaphor of the glacier - sentiments well expressed in these lines - easy to read and understand.
Edited on Nov 14, 10:28 because ''. -
Reading your comment makes this all the more sad. The glacier reference is very creative, well done. This piece is all about emotion and very well expressed.
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Excellent use of philosophy while keeping concrete images. It directly addresses and forms a relationship with the reader.
Short but sweet, well pared down and every word counts.
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very nicely written such a sad write, simply ask her for forgiveness for whatever you have done, if she cant't forgive you then move on god bless lovely poetry
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Wow, another beautiful poem. I never thought you coudl write so well. Better than me. hahaha. But very touching poem. It touched me. If they don't pick you than the person is messed up because you write professionally and you have a very talented with your writing. Good luck in the contest.
Blackstar16 -
Excellent
So sad...Heartfelt...Touching and filled with love and longing..Written from your heart, and soul.."Good luck in the contest"
Blessings,
Betty -
Breathtaking!!!!
Another beautiful and heart wrenching write to your Kittieyanna that leaves my own heart aching
I love the way in which you express these tender feelings for this woman. I wish that Kittieyanna would see into your heart with these exquisite writes. Perhaps if you were to give them to her, you wouldn't be writing these tales of woe, but enchanting writes of victory in love 
I know if I were Kittieyanna, you would be forgiven in a heartbeat 
Best of luck in love and life....and in the contest 
~ Becky ~ aka Veronica Cross
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owwwwwwwwwww..... nicee.... i like i lot of tallened use of language their... i particually like "I’m crumbling like chalks on a board; my self confidence becomes so weak, I cry in disbelief, the ocean overflows, as I watch my world slowly drown underneath the surface" sorry to just copy chucks out of your work but i loved the language used, you have prooved your tallent and turning emotion into nice long words in this piece. i also loved "I sit here alone with a glacier of pain that cannot defrost. Each tear drop that falls soon turns to ice; my world is not the same." and like your others comments have stated - although so sad, this piece is beautiful and i think many people, myself inclusive can relate to this poem.
for your sake i do hope that this letter is fictional, but if it's not, i feel for you greatly and hope that you will become happier soon. it does get better - i promise. thank you for sharing this write, i very much enjoyed readingg it and thank you for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck in my contest and also in your future love life! great write, well done... love Ash -x-x-x- -
This piece of writing made me so emotional!!! It is excellently written with feelings well expressed and described throughout!!!! So much feeling has gone into it!!! Well done!! Sarah Louise Hudson
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smashing
dude!pain makes you so strong when the time has passed.It hurts so damn bad doesnt it.dont worry my friend things always brighten up and i reckon as soon as you start lookin for a silver lining you'll find it.just give yourself time to be intouch with your pain and loss.only by feelin it and goin through it can you ride the wave out.Lovely piece, really enjoyed it.chin up dude,you'll pull through! -
I enjoyed the letter style, it gives it a completely different feeling going into the poem. I think it was used perfectly for this.
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amazing
"I sit here alone with a glacier of pain that cannot defrost".
Amazing. Just a great metaphor that almost perfectly describes emotions of a lost love. Also, personally, the most powerful line in the write. It's a great write. It's a letter. Very upsetting, but very beautiful. I love it.
I know how hard it is to lose someone very close and someone you thought you could love and they would love you in return. Many of your poems are very true to life. I just love you work, and I look forward to seeing more of it soon!
Much love, as always,
Bubbles -
wow,a very sad piece of writing from you here my friend.It's so hard to lose someone that you love so much and you feel that the pain will never ease,but it does within time.The people that we've loved and lost would never want us to go through the pain you're describing and i tend to think that they are always watching over us and you don't want them to see what you're going through as this could upset them as well.Loved ones are always with us no matter what.Take care my friend.Kenny
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