I am vulnerable
and it's alright
Our men make us
Hard
Its a fight to keep
this feathered down
out of sight
I'm standing over
the sink at night
Knowing I am one
In a long line of women
who have cleaned dirt
from pots
Covered, cleaned, caressed
and consulted the impurity
from the dark spots
Embracing others
while missing one's self
along the way
But now I know
If I give before I get
there will be
hell to pay
Author notes
Feeling worn thin. Feeling like I've done this all a hundred time before but I've only just found the knob on the door.
Written June 20th, 2006
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1 - 9 of 9
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Brilliant
Creatress dear you in the line of millions of women but now you've crossed the line where a line is of handful women... finding a knob is most of teh battle won, all is left to do is open the door and enter your own domain... know this feeling all so well... this brilliantly written poem has brought memories to the surface I'd thought I'd left behind, guess not... Very well worded forming a perfect structred poetry... Loved reading it... Hope & wish you are already on the other side of the door... take care Minoo
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WOOOOW! this is so amazing!
'Its a fight to keep
this feathered down
out of sight'
do you mean like angel wings? haha, im not sure but its what i thought of! ya know because the women folk be angels lol. especially me
no no, lol this is really true! i love it.
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i likes i think u know wat ur talking about!
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wow i really understood that..im not married but i still connected to it. honestly i got a great visual from it..great job
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this reminds me of my parents...but i like it. awesome poem.
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...sorry I forgot the applause!
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duuude. I am only 19...and not married, but I so know that this poem is for real. I really like...you have captured this feeling of unapreciation extremely well.
This poem sort of makes me feel better. The last three lines brings it together well. To me it means I have given so jmuch, and feel like I should keep giving, but you have to "get" as well...because it makes you feel loved and appreciated.
Thanks for writing this!
Brokenpoet -
(i'm a guy.. lol)A very dark poem... alot of figures of speech with a clear theme.. though the poem didn't seem that powerful to me.. it was more sudle.. besides the line "there will be hell to pay" it seemed to talk calmly about the point.. though that ended the poem well... for critisism there was alot of comparison.. though not alot of description.. with more description it might make this a more gripping poem... though this poem was well done.. a strong messege to write about.. has alot of personal meaning.. and insight to a society and how it is... the whole poem fit.. nothing was out of place.. well done.. keep writing
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"Embracing others
while missing one's self
along the way
But now I know
If I give before I get
there will be hell to pay"
I LOVED THOSE LINES!!!! everyone needs to step back sometimes and see if they are lowering their standards (especially us women). we are natural givers, but if we give too much of ourselves, we wind up losing ourselves.
this rocked, keep it up and thanks 4 ur comments!!!
~~~angie
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