Dreaming
End of a day
Passing into the night
The sun slowly slipping away
Until dreams become our reality
And perfect hope springs eternal
Floating out of our dreams
A day is born
Dreaming
Author notes
Written June 20th, 2006
A contest entry
- Picture Competition - Rictameter IX by ShelleyA.
300 points, ended June 26, 2006, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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awhhhhhhh...this is so beautiful!
Simple, tender, while containing a mighty kind of truth where we need to pass into the semi-consciousness and exit a time zone.
Refreshing! Love, Dianne da' CookieZ
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Love the transition in this poem as we drift from day to night and back again.
well written.
John -
Very nice interpretation. Very good imagery, nice flow. Lovely expression of feelings. A hopeful and uplifting write. Nice tone. Nice alliteration. Thank you for your entry. Shelley
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Ha Ha... Okay wise guy... Hey, thanks for the comment. It's always good to hear from you...
Hugs & Laughter
Pat
AKA
Strmdncr -
Rx: Keep doing what you're doing !!
There used to be a gal on this site who could write poetry like this. Lived in Philly I believe. Loved dogs!
Nice going on this one, ah...strmdncr?
John -
Thank You, Myra. It is always good to hear from you. Hope all is well in your corner of the world...
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
Perfect
What a simply beautiful line -- in its simplicity: "Until dreams become our reality"
You REALLY know your poetry -- in form and content.
Love
Myra -
I love the simplicity and beauty. We all want to live in a dream, for then reality would cease to exist, how I wish this were true. Just beautiful Pat.
Much love and great write
Karen -
so much truth in this write Pat..when we dream everything can be whatever we want it to be...barring the occasional nightmare of course...but oh when we have those lovely dreams...who wants to wake up....hmmm i need to dream...great write..simplistic and beautiful...
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Dear Pat, a lovely interpretation of the picture for the contest, another wonderful write from you, am happy to see you back.
Love Joan
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this is so tender, and yet carries a huge impact, about the days beginning.
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Thank You, Kate. I am so glad you enjoyed it.
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
I like how you used simple lines and little headings to describe the time of the day. I really like the simplicity in this piece, it sounds very nice for dreams to come true
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Thanks Hots, you are too kind...
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
Thank You Sunshine. Thank you for stopping by...
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
Wow you kept this pretty simple and sweet. This is also very DREAMY yeah...! You rock at poetry. Great job
God Bless
Priscilla xoxo
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NICE WORK ON THIS PIECE
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Thank You so much, John.
I am glad I could brighten your morning. And thank you for taking the time to stop by and leave a comment..
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
Ahhhh... Thank you, Dee. You are too kind. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
Love the background and the feel of this poem. Very Celtic.
A great first poem of the day.
thanks,
John -
This is a beautiful interpretation of the picture, Pat and a perfect rictameter poem There certainly is a lot to be said for the beginning and ending of each day. Sometimes I think about the beauty we may be missing as we sleep all night....maybe that's why I'm often a bit of a nightowl, don't want to miss anything...lol
Your poem is so inspiring, perfectly written and a pleasure to read
Good luck in the contest
love and
Dee
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Thanks Tam....
Pat -
Hi Pat, this is neat in the body and text of presentation
I do so hope we live out our dreams and hope
for us all it would be such a better world then.
Tamara
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Thank You... I am glad you enjoyed it and thank you for taking the time to leave a comment
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
I hope you do get the chance to read more of my work... Thanks for stopping by...
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
I am so glad you enjoyed my work. Thank You for taking the time to leave a comment..
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
Good call! Thanks ever so much for catching that... There is nothing like an "edit" button...
Thanks for stopping by to read my work
Thanks
Pat -
Thank You so much for taking the time to comment. I'm just back from a writers block of 18 months and just trying to get my feet wet, so to speak.
Again, Thank You
Pat -
Very nicely worded! The name for this particular style is alluding my tired brain at the moment, however, I do remember that I love reading them They are always so concise (sp?) and to the point! No dilly dallying around with too much or not enough imagery; it's just out there.
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The message of your write is nice but I am afraid your count is off on your -10- line.(Until our dreams become our reality)
Reality is a four syl. word. That throws you into -11- in that line. Other than that...it is a nice write with a nice feel to it.
Edited on Jun 20, 11:06 p.m. because ''. -
written very well how true of dreams great job
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i like the flow of the poem... its great. i would check out other stuff of yours
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Beautiful. I kinda wanna watch a sunrise now. Reminds me of the Damon Albarn song "Sunset Coming On". Great write. Keep it up.
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