My Mughal dove – to unseen veena’s note
Upon the cool breeze, and tambura’s drone –
As if by magic spell you seem to float
And, dancing, fill my aching eyes alone.
Your lips’ cascade, those smiling ripples, are
As hints of sun which on a dew-pond rests;
Their modesty contrasts – each nipple star
Sits proud, flirtatious, on your rounded breasts.
Your mirror-image takes you in her arms
To claim, herself, that sweet-and-bitter kiss
That’s known, and tasted, from your hidden charms,
That secret pearl that is your clitoris.
So, licking to the throb of dholak drum,
I bid you drop your modesty – and come!
Author notes
My courtesan's identity is unknown.
Indian theme - English sonnet! It rhymes, but that's what I do sometimes.
Written June 20th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture Inspiration by Angels Delight.
300 points, ended June 27, 2006, 3 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poems With An Asian Theme by Mercury Rising.
600 points, ended August 2, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Courtesans by Avatar of Innocence.
875 points, ended August 12, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Second line in the second stanza sounds a little awkward. I understand it, but speaking in my mind and mouthing it silently seems cumbersome.
Veeeery sensual. Whoa.
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Hmmm.... Are you reading it with the enjambement from the previous line? I can see what I have done here - I have inverted in order to capture a rhyme (in prosaic word-order, the phrase would read "... are as hints of (the) sun, which rests on a dew-pond" or something like that). Inversions don't always work, and - who knows - maybe this one doesn't for you.
Glad you appreciate the sensuality, though.
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oh, God, am I going to have great dreams tonight
you are incredibly sensual in this write...but then,
this is what makes you the poetess you are. Great combination of intelligence, sensuality, and humor (not
to mention combat pants My love, Lane
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Ok, y'all tell me 'bout them dreams, now, honey child!
This was one of those fun writes. I was introduced to the "erotic sonnet" by a poet on another site (whose name escapes me for the moment - she faded out of sight about two years ago); I occasionally write one.
Anyhow, I feel I should have written "santoor" or "sarod", rather than "veena", but never mind.
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Outstanding
OMG, WOW, and all that good stuff! Is this sonnet ever impeccable and exquisite and sensuous and so many other things. Just a pure joy to read. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering this remarkable poem. My hat and my roses are in the ring!
David
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Why, thank you
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I love this -- espcially the final couplet. Very droll.
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Thanks Choirangel. I was really proud of this sonnet, and yet it didn't place. Never mind.
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this was so well done and it created wonderful imaginary thanks for sharing this beautiful flow and keep up the awesome poetry here...
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Thanks Tangle! (Hey - I got followers! They follow me too close I'll get them arrested! {puts cigar in mouth, raises eyebrows, and lopes off with long strides, followed by Harpo})
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thankx dtwtx!
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Dear Mairi,
A wonderful erotic presentation for this contest. And the picture is a match for your words.
And I loved reading and picking up the names of instruments that you explain to your followers.
Good Luck in the contest,
Your barm-pot
Tangle -
Loved the words, just beautifully written! Great job!
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Ah, Poe ... I see you have fallen prey to the lure of the erotic English sonnet, the most fascinating sub-form of the form.
(As it's lady-on-lady, it's sure to drive your hubby wild; I never could figure out this fascination men have for ... well ... you know.)
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And I thought I was sweating because of the blistering heat that
has taken hold here in Missouri...but this sonnet certainly didn't help, had to turn the fan on high just to get through it. Maybe I
need to let my hubby read this and see what happens? Mairi, you
certainly are a scorcher today... lapoe...
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Shiny Sis
. Google "dholak", and google "mridingam" and see what you come up with. Personally, I find that a little bit of rhythm helps enormously with ... er ... participation.
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Just spreading that good feeling all over the world - and now through time and space! Seriously, this is a great sonnet. They (your sonnets) are all great, so now I am down to telling you about the subjects and grand vocabulary that I love so much. I've never heard a dholak drum, but I've certainly participated in the last line of that couplet. So, now I have some idea what that drum must sound like! Great work Sis - Shiny Sis
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Hi Bazza. Unfortunately the names are specific. I could have said "lute" for "veena", but that would have been a long shot. The "tambura" is a lute-like instrument, but it produces only a drone, and the "dholak" is a double-headed drum. You can probably see now how difficult it would have been to use English words.
The "mirror image" is a coy metaphor simply signalling that the one who admires her and is making love to her is of the same gender.
I'm glad you liked it overall. Means a lot.
M -
An amazing heartfelt poem that erotically paints a picture that needs no interpretation. It was better for me after reading a few times because I was unfamiliar with the names and this cause a pause in the flow that broke the rhythm but I would love to read a version using anglo names and in place of those used and then a more familiar picture would erotically form much easier. (Well, in my mind anyway) "Your mirror Image" has left me ponderiing if she was a twin or hugging a mirror.(seriously) That was the only intriguing point left unexplained to me.
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Merc' it was - I admit, a bit of a challenge. I am glad you liked it.
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Never mind the Emocon Army - I was targeted by someone barmy
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delightful
I love poems with an eastern flavour, and this one certainly didn't disappoint. Plus, the rhyming of kiss and clitoris was, how shall I say this, delightful. Best of luck in the contest.
Another wonderful poem, Mairi.
Mercury Rising -
I send thee roses, three, and a little 
to sit upon thy knee, and now I send some happy smiles, for that poem reached through the miles! It set half the world on fire!
And here's a little 
who wants to come to visit, because the word is going 'round, your poetry's exquisite!
This message was posted by a sharpshooter in the Emocon Army. You were targeted today for this strike!
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I am so glad I didn't disappoint you, Tessa. I hate to disappoint a Sister.
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My dear...
WOW...I need to take a break after just three poems...You definitely turned on the heat for me...
Well done...Thanks for entering and good luck
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