Puppet princess in a decaying world, mascara stains and alcohol tears.
Subliminal messages on their ``glittering`` billboards, grotesque kohl colored eyes filled with so many fears.
Innocence
s.
h.
a.
t.
t.
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into shards of glass. Ice heart; numb vessel, she has grown up too fast!
.:Aching abdomen screaming:.
"You've kicked me around, you've wrapped me in cotton. You've carried our load and you've shot them! The butterflies are still there."
[[No end to the screaming.]]
She's so lost in her ~spider~threaded~ dreams, with the sweet release of her shame.
She loses her luminous gleam.
Where is her superhero with the **fairy** dust, she must fly from her dim reality. No speck left of stardrop trust.
She steps away from the rain,
her image is
d/i/s/t/o/r/t/e/d.
Clinging to her filth, there is no room left for so much pain.
Author notes
I hope you all enjoy this!!!
"Mascara stains flow like my alcohol tears in this puppet parody."
Written June 19th, 2006
A contest entry
- Leave me with an open mouth, and a loss for words. by PINBALLxMASQUERADE.
300 points, ended July 15, 2006, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. by She Stole My Voice.
300 points, ended September 21, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CELEBRATING POETRY AND POETS- ONE-DAY competition, "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY by Vera Rich.
6000 points, ended November 26, 2008, 127 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - E.M.O ~ PoEmS xxx && brokenrosessooooofocate by Ryno.
400 points, ended December 8, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Contest III by T.o.r.t.u.r.e..
700 points, ended May 18, 126 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *~* PREWRITES CONTEST*~* by tidoubleguher.
750 points, ends December 6, 232 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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WOW
This is awesome. Very well done. I really enjoyed reading this. The flow was well done. The style was your own which made it quite unique. Thank you for sharing. -
This is up there with the better of dirty pieces I have read. You have some great images and you used some poetic device, they really helps the emotion come through, and it still felt very raw.
I also actually thought you used some of the punctuation well in spots, so I commend you. Not too bad. -
this is really great!!! i love the word placement, it adds so much emphasis, and the emotion really stands out, wonderful write, bookmarking.....
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Ah, dirty pretty.
I LOVE this style... you can do so much with it!
Shattered and distorted are both very well presented,
the last line- So powerful!
A truly
r*e*m*a*r*k*a*b*l*e
write. -
"Puppet princess in a decaying world, mascara stains and alcohol tears.
Subliminal messages on their ``glittering`` billboards, grotesque kohl colored eyes filled with so many fears.
Innocence
s.
h.
a.
t.
t.
e.
r.
e.
d.
into shards of glass. Ice heart; numb vessel, she has grown up too fast!" <<<< love those lines, you seem like an amazing poet!! I loved reading this :]
(I'd give more then 3 but I can't >.< lol)
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"Where is her superhero with the **fairy** dust, she must fly from her dim reality." This is a really great line. I really enjoyed the whole poem, and its very. . . real and not at the same time. Keep up the outstanding work!
Lillie
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Innocence
s.
h.
a.
t.
t.
e.
r.
e.
d.
i like how u did that...
its like.. actually shattered.. =]
this is deep n powerful. great write =]
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Nice!
Hey, I really like this, good job! If you could return the favor and read a few of my pieces, comment on them, I would love it! I'm going to do the same right now!
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"Puppet princess in a decaying world, mascara stains and alcohol tears"
-- That's the name of a group on here;
"Puppet princess mascara stains and alcohol tears"
Anyway, this is a typical 'dirty pretty' piece.
I don't feel any real emotion coming from this. I don't feel as if it means anything, ya know? It's hard to explain. It would be a lot more meaningful if the over-punctuation was taken out and you imagined you in this girls place. Maybe you did, I don't know. But hey, you don't have to listen to me.
Thanks for entering.
-rainbow. -
Great write. Different than most I've seen, but I think that's a good thing. The imagery is powerful and it's a well written piece.
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Thanks for all the honest comments and constructive critizism... I appreciate all of it!!!! Love,
z and 
z
`~Savina~` -
in some ways i think this would be better in verse form... but in others it looks so wonderfull like this, i guess its just the fact that your words are stunning, that makes it great either way.
you didnt put what options you used in the comments, but i can see the sia lyrics stuck in there and i think you used them well... they would have stood out too much if youd tried to fit them in normally, but saying that thats screaming inside really works.
"Puppet princess in a decaying world, mascara stains and alcohol tears. Subliminal messages on their glittering billboards, grotesque kohl colored eyes filled with so many fears." - that whole bit is my favourite bit i love the "subliminal messages on their glittering billboards" and then its such a contrast when you put "grotesque" next to it... really great stuff.
Thnks for entering this doll.
<3's it and <3's yoo xxx -
Excellent imagery in this piece. The juxtapositioning is really effective here. I do have to agree with izzi6, I may add that you could watch your use of exclamation points, but that's probably just personal taste.
Despite this I must stress that your language is indeed commendable. -
i love this. the way you used the words from con fairys list is amazing. so imaginative, and vivid imagery. good luck too!
<3Laura
Edited on Jun 22, 10:06 because 'oopsie, spelling!'. -
Great vocab and command here. I think it'd be more effective if you organized it into verse form, but that's just my opinion.
Elizabeth
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