There is nothing I want more
than to borrow your lips for the night.
I'll return them in the morning,
but they may never forget
the secrets
I whispered
in the dark.
Author notes
Summer does this to me..
Written July 31st, 2005
A contest entry
- Eloquence in Brevity by RatherImaginative.
1400 points, ended July 31, 2007, 29 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn that silver to gold pt 8 by whispernthedark.
400 points, ended September 27, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I love those closing lines... great write, thank you for entering the contest, good luck
♥
whisper
-
This is wonderful! So many things jump out at me as read this. The imagery/metaphor is really good! Thanks so much for entering my contest!
-
-
Glad you enjoyed the imagery. I used to write a lot of really short poetry so having some place to put it was really nice. Thanks for the contest!
-
-
Well...
I'm feeling the heat.
Effective use of line breaks, causes a pause instead of the normal speed up, almost a catch of breath as though you/the narrator is breathless from... anticipation? Yeah. -
Very creative! I can see the image in my mind now. It reminds me of a song by Taunya Tucker. Have you ever heard the song "If your heart aint busy tonight"?
-
I really like this. It's short and sweet and definately to the point. I'll have to read some more of your work. thanks for your comments on Despite You, I'm really glad you liked it. I am going to try my hardest to live my life for myself and my daughter from now on. Anyway, back to your poetry! This is mysterious and flirty. I really enjoy reading short poems sometimes. You definately say what you need to say in so few lines, I admire that. Great write.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
1 old applause
